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BabiieGurl
Jan 11, 2013, 06:09 AM
Hi everyone, I'd really like some advice from other teens or anyone who's been through this basically. Well, I just started having sex with my boyfriend (he's 16... I'm 14). He's had a hard life and sort of gets into trouble. (skips school, smokes, fights... ect.) I'm a very good girl (shy, soft voice, smart, gentle... ect.) We've had sex 3 times. Before the 3rd time, Kavion was bruised all over and his body was sore almost every where. He said his father comes home sometimes drunk and would easily get angry and beat him. I softly hugged him and cried with him, he kissed me and we slowly had sex but things got intense and he was trying to ignore his pain. But his dad is all he has and I want to ask my mom how I can help him and she's knows we make out in private and I'm scared she'll ask if I'm having sex. I keep crying because I'm young and keep having this feeling I want to do this with him. I'm so good and young, why do I feel like? We haven't used any condoms :( and I'll have to tell my mom this. She asks me have I had sex every chance she gets since I started dating him. Why did he have sex with me while in soooo much pain?? What should I do?!

J_9
Jan 11, 2013, 06:13 AM
She will know you are having sex when youvtell her you are pregnant.

You are too young to be involved in all this drama.

Oliver2011
Jan 11, 2013, 06:15 AM
Bragging about sex at 14 are we? I wouldn't call you a good girl. There are many other names I would call you, but good girl wouldn't be anywhere close to one of them.

Regardless of your less than good girl ways, I would call not using a condom very stupid. And hopefully you do not live in the United States because I don't want to pay for another unwanted baby that you obviously can't afford.

You are too immature to realize this, but one day you will finally grow up and regret some or most of the decisions you have made.

J_9
Jan 11, 2013, 06:18 AM
Let us also note that this boy could go to jail since you are under the age of consent.

Good girl? No. Jail bait? Most definitely.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 11, 2013, 06:21 AM
You pray that he is not in prison in a few months for having sex with you, He is committing a crime doing that and can go to prison and be a sex offender for the rest of his life. So thanks for helping him become a criminal.

Why your mom would let you make out with him at 14 is beyond me and a sign that she has a lack of good parenting skills. But what do you need to do, stop having sex with him, and understand that he has a lot of issues that you are not ready to handle now.

He should call Child protective service or the police if he is beaten that bad by his dad, that way he can get into state custody and be safe from abuse.

That is how you help, but getting him to get into the system for his protection

BabiieGurl
Jan 11, 2013, 07:44 PM
I wasn't bragging... I was being honest due to my curiosity of any other situations happens at my age. My mom doesn't really seem confident in talking about sex with me and I'm not one to usually bring up my feelings and topic of sex with just anybody. We're both in high school. It's not like he's 18. He's in the 11nth grade and I'm in the 10th turning 15 in 6 days so who's going to jail?? Hmmm... I've just ben told that even good girls make mistakes. Behind his behavior I see this little halo that beds more

I mean that needs more light I just care about him and wants him happy.

ScottGem
Jan 12, 2013, 07:06 AM
First, yes good girls do make mistakes, but when they do, they are no longer good girls. I might agree that one slip could allow you to continue to think of yourself as a good girl, but this isn't a matter of a single slip.

What I see here, is a boy who may be abused at home, has had a hard life as you put it. So he finds pleasure and a release in sex and is using you for that.

You don't say how long you have been boyfriend and girlfriend. Even if he really does love you and isn't using you, just for sex, he is still using you.

In most areas 14 or even 15 is below the age of consent. Therefore sex with you could get him into jail as a sex offender.

NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are fully prepared to have a child. Since you are having unprotected sex, the possibility of pregnancy is high, which means conclusive proof that he has had illegal relations.

You need to stop the sex immediately. You tell him that you are too young to be a mother (and he is too young to be a father). You can tell him you love him (though I have doubts that you really do), but because you love him, you don't want to ruin both your lives by becoming pregnant.

BabiieGurl
Jan 12, 2013, 07:58 AM
You know I can't do anything but thank you honestly. Speaking about this jail stuff did startle me a bit and I good with babysitting other people kids but I caught myself wishing I was free handed at some moments and not ready to be a mother. I hadn't told my mom about his dad yet but there were polices at his home late last night hand cutting his dad and talking to Kavion. I sort of mimicked what you said and told him I was afraid of having sex with him because those reasons but we're still together. I guess I was just a easy emotional shelter he could run to. Idk what he's doing now though but for now thanks I hope that sex part doesn't come up with those police though. I just want him to know I can comfort him somehow. I don't want to a reason someone's in jail. We only dated 1¹/²yr We've known each other since we were like 6 and 8 when our moms were bestfriends but his mom died 2 years ago.

J_9
Jan 12, 2013, 08:04 AM
So, you are afraid of him going to jail because you two are having sex. Did you know that being pregnant and having a baby at your age could kill you or make you permanently disabled? Are you willing to risk your life?

BabiieGurl
Jan 12, 2013, 08:30 AM
How can I die from giving birth? I know a couple friends of mine who actually have a child and they've said they felt a lot of pressure but not too much pain. May I mention they're not disabled... I'm unsure how often that happens to people my age but if such things like that can then I'm not even using the word condom because that's insane. I don't like to worry about death or negative possibilities and I would surely stop having sex even when I get to the allowed age. Or get scared into having an abortion if we continue having sex later on in life

ScottGem
Jan 12, 2013, 10:08 AM
How can I die from giving birth? I know a couple friends of mine who actually have a child and they've said they felt alot of pressure but not to much pain. May I mention they're not disabled... I'm unsure how often that happens to people my age but if such things like that can then i'm not even using the word condom because thats insane. I don't like to worry about death or negative possibilities and I would surely stop having sex even when I get to the allowed age. Or get scared into having an abortion if we continue having sex later on in life

J_9 is a Maternity room nurse, so she knows about the dangers of pregnancy too young. Your body is still developing and getting pregnant at your age could come with serious health risks to you and/or the child.

It sounds like we have gotten through to you about all the consequences of engaging in sex at your young age. There is nothing wrong with being supportive and comforting your boyfriend. But that doesn't mean you have to use physical intimacy to that.

Good luck to you.

Curlyben
Jan 12, 2013, 10:31 AM
This thread is now
http://mvny.org/images/closed.gif

J_9
Jan 12, 2013, 08:38 PM
Babiigurl, girls your age tend to get seizure disorders, high blood pressure, diabetes, premature delivery, death of the baby, and death of the mother due to bleeding to death after delivery. You have friends that have babies. They are the lucky ones. Not every girl is as lucky and you can't guarantee you will be just as lucky.

Your body isn't done growing you yet. It doesn't know how to grow you AND a baby.