My name is Brandi and I like in Gaston County, NC. I have a five year old son with an ex boyfriend, and I encounter the ongoing problem that the ex, whom I will call Travis, has little to no concern for his son. We have not gone to court for custody, because I can't afford it and the state won't help me do it. Travis attempts to see our son roughly three times a year, and often does not show up when he has agreed to baby sit. When I once asked him when he would come see his son, he responded, and I quote, "When I get off my lazy a*s!" He has publicly threatened my life, and endangered our son on several occasions. He frequently requests paternity tests, but when I schedule them he never shows up. He does not pay child support, and the state won't make him do that either. What can I do to get this man out of both mine and my child's lives?

I'm sorry, but you can't. He has the same rights that you do to your child because he is the father. He will have to go through the courts if he ever decides to exercise his rights, but he can do that at anytime in the future. Family courts are very user friendly and many even offer hardship waivers for those who financially qualify, so there is no reason to not formalize your custody situation and to actively pursue collecting child support.

Why won't the state go after him for child support?

My ex-husband and I have a 12 yr old together. He does pay child support but will go a month or more without seeing him. He may send him a text message that he loves him but does
Not see him at his home or mine. He may "run" into him at the grocery store or somewhere but that is all. He pays child support. My son has been in mental health counseling for several years due to actions of father as well as other things. I could survive without child support I just want his father out of his life, so he can heal. Any chance of that??

My ex-husband and I have a 12 yr old together. He does pay child support but will go a month or more without seeing him. He may send him a text msg that he loves him but does
not see him at his home or mine. He may "run" into him at the grocery store or somewhere but that is all. He pays child support. My son has been in mental health counseling for several years due to actions of father as well as other things. I could survive without child support I just want his father out of his life, so he can heal. Any chance of that????

First, you should have started a new thread for this new question.

Any chance of getting your son's father "out of your life" for failure to visit the child whenever he can? No, not really unless you marry a man who wants to adopt the boy.