My fiancé has cheated on me twice. The first time, I forgave him. The second time after cutting off all contact with her for months and all that "re-building" of our relationship, he cheated on me again with her in a brand new house we had just bought together. Not only that, but she is the mother of his 3-year-old with whom he hasn't been in a relationship with since she found out she was pregnant. About 4 years ago. I've also just recently found out I was pregnant. I thought our relationship was getting better. We had just become homeowners and our trust was slowly being reestablished. I have not cheated on him once, I have held my temper in the hardest of times because I did want to be with him. I didn't want a mistake to ruin our relationship. I need a clear-headed point of view. I feel I have too much anger and pain and feel so stupid to think clearly and figure myself out right now. I keep asking myself why? Why did he cheat? Why was it her? How do I get past it? Is it going to change? What am I supposed to do now?

What are you going to do now? Leave him!
I am 70 yrs old, married for 7 yrs. The first time, then divorced. I remarried for 30 yrs, and my wife died 6 yrs ago.
You have been through enough with this man. It probably will not get any better, and will probably get worse. A good relationship must have trust, honesty, respect, and a willingness to talk about anything. He does have respect for you, otherwise he wouldn't be doing this. Move out, and move on. I do wish you the best. I would also talk with a lawyer about what to do now and also when your child is born. He might have to pay you child support!

The fact that he is the father of their child is going to be constantly having an effect on his ability to stay away from her, regardless of any involvement he has with the child on the surface. His feelings may waver, as may hers, and she may contact him ostensibly to talk about the child. (I'm surprised you allowed yourself to get pregnant during all your mixed emotions?) Anyway, I would try for a quiet heart to heart about where he stands with the child. He may be keeping it secret out of fear, and you have to face it directly as a fact of life that neither of you can deny. If you can get a sense of his feelings (possibly even that she manipulates his fatherhood honor), then hopefully you can come to an agreement, imperfect though it will be.

“…you didn't want 'A' mistake to ruin your relationship.” None of us do… and I feel angry along with you! But this is no ordinary mistake January2013 and you know it!

For now you take deep breathes, long walks and control yourself from making any irrational decisions concerning a future with him and look after your pregnancy. Many promises are made under duress when a cheater has been caught out - TWICE! When you regain focus; start thinking about the pros and cons of this situation.

I believe he has unfinished business and emotions with the Mother of his 3 year old child and has to accept the consequences of his infidelity by supporting his unborn child… You on the other hand will survive without the likes of this creature defiling your Home; a place of sanctity, ever again!

If it were I, I would have clobber him directly and burnt the mattress; making no mistake about that! :)