Ok so I'm moving in with my boyfriend he is 29. I'm 22
He wants to have a baby, but to be honest I'm scared I can't handle it.
The odd thing is that I've taken care of my niece for 6 years till her mom came home. I have a crib in my room! For my sisters baby's that I take care of them when they work. ( 15hrs/6day) Where always buying baby clothes and pampers to help my sisters
( so we could afford one lol)
What do y'all think I should do!

Threads Merged

Why the rush ?
You haven't been together very long, about 6 months.
If he's THAT desperate than get married first.
Things change when you live with someone in this type of relationship.

Well your probley right . I can't get married because I'm married to My ex abusive husband. To be honest I didn't even thinke about having kids with my ex I knew he was not the right one and with my boyfriend well I'm at less Considering it. Which is a big step for me

I agree that you should get married first. Take care of whatever business you have with your ex, date for a while and then see if you want to get married.

So my boyfriend talks about us moving in Together. That was like a month ago. But ever sin then he has not moved a finger to get me over there with him. I Live 1 hour away from him. He comes and go every weekend It's like he Prefers to pay 2 water bills 2 light bill 2 rent bills.
He talk about getting married But no ring. What do u think is he all talk.

And perhaps you are no talk, if he said move in together, have you bought boxes to start packing, when he comes over do you give him loads of things to carry back ?

And perhaps you are no talk, if he said move in together, have you bought boxes to start packing, when he comes over do you give him loads of things to carry back ?

I talk! I keep asking him when and all he says is. Soon. Soon you'll be with me forever! But no act..
Actually he keeps bring Clothes and shoes to my house!

So tell him that if he is not going to set a date you will assume he was lying, be blunt, be direct, sorry but he is not talking and you are accepting it.

Tell him that you two are going to set down ( and not fight) but discuss this till there is a final decission.

So tell him that if he is not going to set a date you will assume he was lying, be blunt, be direct, sorry but he is not talking and you are accepting it.


Tell him that you two are going to set down ( and not fight) but discuss this till there is a final decission.

Yeah your probley right. Thanks for taking time to answer!

Nanait, I merged your threads because both are dealing with your relationship with your boyfriend of six months.

This may sound harsh. If it does it is because I am concerned about you and your welfare.

Frankly, you need to slow down. You are still married to you abusive husband (he isn't an ex until the divorce papers are signed) and have only been dating six months. Have you started divorce proceedings?

Moving in together, marriage plans, having a baby together and all of that can wait. You need to step back and take care of your legal issues before jumping head first into living with another man.

If you feel like you have to move in together, take your time and do it right.

Sit down with him and decide:

Where you should live-which location is best for cost of living, commuting to work, etc. Would a new place work better than your current residences?

Who is going to pay which bills or contribute how much to the general household expenses-you might be saving on some items, but how much will other expenses such as gas for going to work increase? How will you handle prior debts such as car loans or personal debts such as insurance, loans, credit cards, etc.

What will happen to duplicated items such as beds, couches, tables, etc. that you may not have room for in the 'house'? Sale or storage? If storage, add the cost to expenses and decide who pays. What about personal effects that the other person may not like?

Who will be responsible for chores around the house?

Talk about expectations for privacy, personal time, communicating schedules, etc. Make certain both understand that you will need time apart from each other to spend with friends or hobbies.

Discuss how you will handle disagreements.

Read through some of the Relationship/Marriage questions on AMHD (this site) and get a basic idea of the trouble spots couples run into. Work together to have a plan in place when they occur.

I know you probably think you are in love and this is 'the one'. However, love is not a reason to rush into anything. Set yourselves up to build a strong foundation so your relationship can succeed.

I would like to add something that you may not even realize.

While I don't know your location, in many areas your husband, soon to be ex-husband, would be considered the legal father of this child should it be born not only while you are still legally married, but also if it is born within a 365 day period after your divorce is final.

While your boyfriend might be the biological father, your soon to be ex would be considered the legal father.

Get divorced then wait a year before becoming pregnant.

I would like to add something that you may not even realize.

While I don't know your location, in many areas your husband, soon to be ex-husband, would be considered the legal father of this child should it be born not only while you are still legally married, but also if it is born within a 365 day period after your divorce is final.

While your boyfriend might be the biological father, your soon to be ex would be considered the legal father.

Get divorced then wait a year before becoming pregnant.

Wow I did not know that! Thanks

Yes, I found that out recently after delivering a baby to a woman and her boyfriend. She had only been divorced for 256 days and was required to place her ex husband on the birth certificate.

You can communicate with your boyfriend. Best wishes.

You can communicate with your boyfriend. Best wishes.

Yeah thanks I have a question can I do something if I have proof that my ex husben is engage to some one. Will that help me to get divorce fast. I really don't want to start the process because I know he will make my life living hell

Just know that he can't get married to the woman he is engaged to while he is still married to you.

Just know that he can't get married to the woman he is engaged to while he is still married to you.

Even if its in Mexico!

Yes, if it is a legal marriage there will have to be a legal divorce.

If you don't have any children or assets it should be relatively easy for you to do.

Yes, if it is a legal marriage there will have to be a legal divorce.

If you don't have any children or assets it should be relatively easy for you to do.

Thanks you've been great help. Thanks for taking the time to answer !

Last night my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone and he tells me his mom wants to meet me. And his sister as been asking to meet me through Facebook too. We have been together for amost 7 Months
And at first I had told him I didn't want to meet the in laws. But after all this months together and seeing his famliy have been asking to meet up I agreed.
But like always he is all talk. I asked him to take me and he said no!
He never wants to take me to his town
I even ask to go shopping over there not even meeting his famliy. And he say no.
I live 1 hour away.
Some times I feel like for some reason he never wants for us to go over there.
What do you thinke is going on. Or what should I do about it.

His mom may say she wants to meet you, but obviously he doesn't want his mom to meet you. I would just drop it before it becomes an issue between the two of you.

Why are you calling them 'in laws', you are dating this chap, not married to him.

What should you do? Nothing.
What is going on? He is probably conflicted. It's a huge leap to meet someone's family. It 'means' all sorts of things about serious commitment. Plus, some family are really nosy and controlling; you just don't know.
I think the fact that you are here asking total strangers these questions is a clue that you and he haven't reached the level of closeness and communication that you need.

Last night my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone and he tells me his mom wants to meet me. And his sister as been asking to meet me thru facebook too. We have been together for amost 7 Months
And at first I had told him I didn't want to meet the in laws. But after all this months together and seeing his famliy have been asking to meet up I agreed.
But like always he is all talk. I asked him to take me and he sed no!
He never wants to take me to his town
I even ask to go shopping over there not even meeting his famliy. And he say no.
I live 1 hour away.
Some times I feel like for some reason he never wants for us to go over there.
What do u thinke is going on. Or what should I do about it.

When was the first time he told you that his mother wants to meet you?

If you want to meet his sister over Facebook, send her a friend request or message. That doesn't take any work on his part. It is all up to her and you.

On the shopping in his town, why not go shopping there on your own. See what the place is like. Do some research on the area. Look up the town website and any newspapers to get an idea of where he lives. You and he are supposedly talking about moving in together. All options should be examined before any decisions are made.

I think the next time he comes over, you sit down and discuss the issues with him. From your posts: You want to move in together, be married after you are divorced, and have a child together. You need to learn how to communicate with each other before taking the other steps. I think you may talk a lot, but I get the impression that somehow, somewhere you aren't really on the same page at the same time.

After all that, I will be honest that it sounds to me like he throws out thoughts and 'plans' as a way of keeping your interest. When you talk to him, do you get that feeling?

I say take care of any unfinished business you have with your ex before your take your relationship with your new boyfriend to the next level. Also consider asking yourself if you two are really established first before you raise a child. Given the fact that your current boyfriend is 26 and you're 22, it's obvious that he sees himself in a different place in his life and that you have your doubts as to whether this would be the right time for you to have a baby. If you are unsure if now is the right time, don't do it because it probably means you are wanting to have a baby to satisfy your boyfriend's longterm goals. Have a discussion with him for everything that worries you and ensure that the two of you can see eye-to-eye on the subject matter before you both proceed with your plans to start a family.

If it's meant to be, it will happen at the right time. Becoming a parent for the first time shouldn't feel forced.