My 19 year old step son left our house after an argument with my husband when he was 18. We were supporting him financially so he could attend school but when my husband asked him for his school report he became upset and became physical punching walls in our house. He then left to live with his biological mother they stop communicating. At that time he had a girlfriend his same age. She also left her father's home basically for a similar reason to live with her biological mother. A year has passed and my step son apologized to his dad. He has been visiting us practically every weekend. Now, I realize that he hasn't done much for the pass year and half, no work, no school. He is still going out with the same girlfriend and they are very close. The young lady has an inheritance and drives a car and does not work. My step son doen't have a car and drives her car all the time. It seems to me that they are inseparable.

When they came over to visit us my husband had them sleep in the guest room and has been giving him money and promise to buy a car for him. The problem is that I don't see them trying to get a job or further they education and they wanted to stay in our house, sleep in the same bedroom and do house sitting when we both go on a trip to Hawaii. I have an issue with that because I believe that they can visit us but they need to go back to the home where they are living now and I feel that our house is just for visiting at the moment. My husband dissagrees with me and we are having arguments.What should I do? Should I let them stay in our house without any bounderies or not?

You actually don't have any choice in this, your husband can let them stay if he wants and you really can't do anything about it, except maybe file in divorce court.

So you and hubby has to be on the same game plan.

Personally I would not let them stay and make rules for what they have to do, ( like jobs) to get any help.

If you were to go, expect them to go though and maybe even steal things in the home.]

Come up with a few rules, and boundaries are completely necessary! Have them get jobs, as a small condition, or have them pay a small rent, or just help out. Hope this helps!! :)

From my experience: best not argue. He is your step son, and you may love him and it hurts to see someone doing dumb things, but if his father doesn't say anything, you may start having marital problems if you decide to jump in the middle.

It is a delicate situation, and I believe you should tell you husband your opinion on the matter, in the most delicate way possible. But listening is his choice.

Doing something and not doing anything is complicated. Tricky situation.

Your problem is easy to solve... if your world is the same as mine! In mine, we know that the Head of the family is the Husband and there cannot be two husbands rule a house! The same goes to wives in a same house in terms of housekeeping. The son inlaw needs to move out and head his own.Your husband needs to make his son seat down and listen and tell his son he needs to move out because of his girl.Though he is only 18 he had decided to take a woman to him so therefore look after her.You see... lots of talking here is between your husband and his son.
Now that bears the question : why did you say yes in the first place! Lol... ok OK tell your husband you can also say 'no!' OK?