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stressedteen
Jan 4, 2013, 04:07 PM
My parents have been divorced since I was 9 and I am now 16. They have joint custody and I currently stay 2 weeks with 1 parent and 2 weeks with the other. I want to move in with my mum as I can't handle constantly moving every 2 weeks as it stresses me out, and makes me feel like I don't belong, like I am not wanted and I feel like a parcel. I can't handle this and I know this is not what is intended. I am incredibly close with both parents, and I have carefully thought about who to live with, by writing pros and cons. I have decided to live with my mum as there is more space there for me to study, and be alone. I do not want to leave my dad, as I am close with him, and also, my sister, who lives with my dad. My parents know I find it difficult, and that I want to move into one of their homes permanently, but I do not want to break my dad heart, I love him, and can't imagine not living with him. I need advice on how to bring up this topic with both parents, separately, I decided this about 6 months ago but don't have to guts to tell them. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance
X

Alty
Jan 4, 2013, 04:33 PM
You're not a little kid anymore, you're a teen, you're in high school, you're probably close to going to college. It doesn't make sense for you to jump from one home to the other every 2 weeks.

Why not talk to your mom first, tell her how you feel, and why you feel that way, and then talk to your father. Do mom and dad still have a good relationship, are they able to talk to each other civilly about you? If so, tell dad that you still want a relationship with him, you just can't handle bouncing around, you want a more permanent address, and mom has more room, so it makes sense to go to moms house and then visit with him whenever you both have time. Hopefully mom can help you talk to him about it all.

Just because you won't be living there for half the year, doesn't mean you can't see him on a regular basis. Your relationship may actually get better, since you won't see each other that much, so each time you do will be special.

Good luck.

stressedteen
Jan 4, 2013, 04:51 PM
Thanks for your quick response, I agree with you, I'm just having difficulty bringing up such a hard subject. I think he knows its coming, I'm just scared, despite knowing there's no reason to be. I am also close to my sister making it difficult as she lives with my dad. My parents are able to have conversations, and regularly do, about my sister and I etc. thanks you again, your answer has helped me gather my thoughts and I appreciate any more help offered. Thank you :)