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View Full Version : Is it OK if a freshman girl likes a junior guy?


16willdn
Jan 3, 2013, 04:57 PM
I am a freshman and I like a junior. How do I know if the guy likes me back because he talks to this senior chick? But he also talks to me so how do I know if he likes me?

Homegirl 50
Jan 3, 2013, 08:07 PM
He may like you but only as a friend. Unless he spends a lot of time talking to you he probably does not like you the way you want.

16willdn
Jan 7, 2013, 05:29 PM
He may like you but only as a friend. Unless he spends a lot of time talking to you he probably does not like you the way you want.
Then what should I do because I like him should I just forget about him and put him in the back of my head or what well like we danced to the song called "Your Everything"by Kieth Urban at homecoming but after we danced I gave him a hug and said thank you for the dance and he smiled and said your welcome but after that he hasn't talked to me or smiled at me or anything so should I just forget about him and try to find someone new

Homegirl 50
Jan 7, 2013, 07:40 PM
Yes. He obviously does not like you the way you like him.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 07:57 AM
Then should I just try to find someone new

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 10:12 AM
You should just try and find friends. You're what 14? You don't need a boyfriend at this point. Make lots of friends, boy as well as girls.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 10:34 AM
How can I make a lot of friends when I am not popular and yes I am 14 then why does everyone else seem to be happy with there boyfriend and everything and it seems like every one has boyfriend besides me is that wrong?? And I really only have 2 close friends

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 11:02 AM
Not everyone is happy or has a boyfriend. It only seems that way to you. You are only 14. You have plenty of time for boyfriends.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 11:07 AM
OK well do you think that I should go to the winter homecoming that is on January 19th by myself or should I ask a friend to go with me

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 01:48 PM
Either is fine. The more you get out the better your chances of making friends

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 03:23 PM
Okay I guess I will go but isn't homecoming about dancing with a date and if I go by myself I won't have anyone to dance with will I

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 03:57 PM
Either is fine. The more you get out the better your chances of making friends


OK

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 03:59 PM
There are girls that go to dances with other girls all the time. Even Homecoming. You can go with a guy or a girl.
When my god-daughter went to Homecoming she went with three other girls.

Alty
Jan 8, 2013, 04:04 PM
There will be guys going solo too, and those are the guys you dance with.

You're really young. My son is 14, and he's never had a girlfriend, he knows he's not ready for that, and frankly, he's having too much fun hanging out with his buddies, and getting to know people. Why settle for one person when there are literally hundreds of people to just be friends with?

You may think that everyone has a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but they really don't. Even if they are "dating" at 14 it's just hanging out, it's not really dating, they just call it that.

So go out, have fun, and stop worrying too much about having a boyfriend. Trust me, none of the "couples" that are together right now in your age group, will be together in a year. Wait and see.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 04:04 PM
There are girls that go to dances with other girls all the time. Even Homecoming. You can go with a guy or a girl.
When my god-daughter went to Homecoming she went with three other girls.

Okay but my best friend is going with a guy so I will feel out cased because everybody will be dancing won't they and I won't be and my other friends aren't going so wouldn't I be an out cast

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 04:09 PM
There will be guys going solo too, and those are the guys you dance with.

You're really young. My son is 14, and he's never had a girlfriend, he knows he's not ready for that, and frankly, he's having too much fun hanging out with his buddies, and getting to know people. Why settle for one person when there are literally hundreds of people to just be friends with?

You may think that everyone has a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but they really don't. Even if they are "dating" at 14 it's just hanging out, it's not really dating, they just call it that.

So go out, have fun, and stop worrying too much about having a boyfriend. Trust me, none of the "couples" that are together right now in your age group, will be together in a year. Wait and see.

Okay thanks but how do you no that there will be solo guys there and what do I do if I don't like them and one asks me to dance or something

Alty
Jan 8, 2013, 04:14 PM
okay thanks but how do you no that there will be solo guys there and what do i do if i don't like them and one asks me to dance or something

Of course there will be solo guys there. Do you really think they all found dates? If you don't want to dance with those that ask you, then graciously say "no thank you, but thanks for asking" and hope that someone that you do like, does ask you.

Even if you don't dance, it will be fun if you stop being so paranoid about what everyone else is doing. Just go because you want to go, and who cares what everyone else is doing?

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 05:29 PM
My goodness you say you are not popular but you're worrying about the possibility of someone you may not like asking you to dance. He's asking you to dance not date.
If you don't want to dance, you graciously say no.
There are plenty of people who will go and not have dates. Probably more guys than girls.
You go and talk to people maybe dance and just have fun.

dontknownuthin
Jan 8, 2013, 05:33 PM
I don't think it's unusual for a Junior guy to date a Freshman girl at all. At some schools there's a stigma but from talking to my son and his friends, it's perfectly fine at their school.

I would say that, regarding the dance, either go with a boy you have feelings for, or go with a group of friends and without a date. Going on a date-but-not-really with a guy you think of as just a friend is awkward. Unless the guy has a shot with you, go with a group of kids. If the junior boy likes you and you like him and he asks, go with him.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 06:08 PM
Okay I will go and just have fun but okay there is this senior kid that goes to my youth group and he talks to me all of the time and like he sits by me and everything and he is a really nice guy so should I ask him to go to homecoming with me as friends or should I wait and see if he will ask me

Alty
Jan 8, 2013, 06:14 PM
Ask him. Tell him that it's just a friend thing. Who knows, it may end up being as more than friends down the road.

Just ask, and have fun.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 06:18 PM
Ask him. Tell him that it's just a friend thing. Who knows, it may end up being as more than friends down the road.

Just ask, and have fun.

Okay I will ask him and well since he drives a car should I ask him to pick me up or should I say my dad will drop me off

Alty
Jan 8, 2013, 06:30 PM
okay i will ask him and well since he drives a car should i ask him to pick me up or should i say my dad will drop me off

That's really up to your parents. Are you even allowed to date? You should talk to mom and dad before you ask him. If they agree, then ask if they are okay with him driving, or if they want to drop you off. It's all up to mom and dad, since you're not old enough to choose.

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 06:30 PM
You can ask him. Make sure he knows it's just a date to the dance as friends. Check with your parents. Make sure it is OK with them.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 06:34 PM
That's really up to your parents. Are you even allowed to date? You should talk to mom and dad before you ask him. If they agree, then ask if they are okay with him driving, or if they want to drop you off. It's all up to mom and dad, since you're not old enough to choose.

But it isn't a date it is just going as friends and if I ask my parents they will say no because they don't let me do anything but they do know who this guy is and they know the parents so maybe they will say yes but I am scared to ask them and see what they say

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 06:36 PM
You can ask him. Make sure he knows it's just a date to the dance as friends. Check with your parents. Make sure it is OK with them.

Okay I will but the thing is my parents think that it is wrong for a girl to ask a guy they think that the guy should ask the girl

Homegirl 50
Jan 8, 2013, 07:02 PM
You either ask them and see what they say or just go by yourself. If they know the guy and you are just going as friends, they may have no problem.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 07:11 PM
Okay I will ask them and if they say no should I still go to homecoming or just forget about it

dontknownuthin
Jan 8, 2013, 07:35 PM
Don't do anything behind your parent's back because it will backfire. They will assume the guy is a bad influence on you if you start sneaking around. So ask if they are OK with him picking you up, and if they aren't, ask if they will provide you a ride.

As a parent of a high school senior, I can tell you that when my son starts acting sketchy about things, I turn the screws and tighten up the rules and boundaries. When he's acting honestly and following family rules, I give him a lot more freedom because I trust that he's being upfront with me.

If you end up wanting to date this guy, it will be really hard to ever be allowed to if you start by irritating your parents in how you go about it.

16willdn
Jan 8, 2013, 07:46 PM
Don't do anything behind your parent's back because it will backfire. They will assume the guy is a bad influence on you if you start sneaking around. So ask if they are ok with him picking you up, and if they aren't, ask if they will provide you a ride.

As a parent of a high school senior, I can tell you that when my son starts acting sketchy about things, I turn the screws and tighten up the rules and boundaries. When he's acting honestly and following family rules, I give him a lot more freedom because I trust that he's being upfront with me.

If you end up wanting to date this guy, it will be really hard to ever be allowed to if you start out by irritating your parents in how you go about it.

Okay thanks I will definitely make sure to ask my parents

16willdn
Jan 9, 2013, 10:24 AM
If I go to homecoming the theme is superhero what kind of superhero women are there?

Homegirl 50
Jan 9, 2013, 10:35 AM
Wonder woman, Batgirl, Isis, Storm, Black widow.. Google it. You can find a lot.

16willdn
Jan 9, 2013, 03:26 PM
Okay where do I find a costume for one of these superhero women that isn't to expensive because I only have $34 to spend

Homegirl 50
Jan 9, 2013, 04:18 PM
Look at pictures of the costumes and put together something from what you have. Or buy a few pieces. Use your imagination.

16willdn
Jan 9, 2013, 07:25 PM
Okay I guess I can do that thank you
Can I ask you another question okay why is high school so boring what can I do to make my high school years more enjoyable because I feel like I am just going through the motions and it isn't fun and people say high school is the best years of your life enjoy them but I don't know how to enjoy them when it is boring so how do I enjoy them

Homegirl 50
Jan 9, 2013, 08:53 PM
Join some clubs. You're in your first year. The freshman year is always kind of rough. It gets better.

16willdn
Jan 10, 2013, 09:57 AM
I hope so because right now it is pretty rough

Homegirl 50
Jan 10, 2013, 10:13 AM
Like I said get active, join some clubs. It does get better

16willdn
Jan 10, 2013, 10:27 AM
Okay

16willdn
Jan 20, 2013, 12:12 PM
Well last night was homecoming and it was really boring why am I now wishing I never had went

Homegirl 50
Jan 20, 2013, 12:29 PM
Were you expecting it to be boring? Could be your attitude. Was there anything about the evening that was different or appealing?

16willdn
Jan 20, 2013, 02:00 PM
Were you expecting it to be boring? Could be your attitude. Was there anything about the evening that was different or appealing?

No I was not expecting it to be boring I thought that it would be like the first homecoming where there was a lot of fun dancing songs like the cha cha slide and songs like that and there were a lot of slow dance songs to but at the homecoming last night there were no fun songs and no slow songs so it was really boring and the only thing that was appealing was the decorations they had but other than that no am I wrong for thinking that it was just a wasteof money

Alty
Jan 20, 2013, 05:53 PM
no i was not expecting it to be boring i thought that it would be like the first homecoming where there was a lot of fun dancing songs like the cha cha slide and songs like that and there were a lot of slow dance songs to but atthe homecoming last night there were no fun songs and no slow songs so it was really boring and the only thing that was appealing was the decorations they had but other than that no am i wrong for thinking that it was just a wasteof money

There are times when you're going to go to events that aren't specifically catered to your taste. I've been to many weddings where the music was not my taste, the décor was not my taste, and I could have had a horrible time if I had let myself.

Life is what you make it. If you let little things get to you, like music, then of course you're going to have a bad time. You have to learn to make your own fun.

Was it a waste of money? Well, with the attitude you had throughout the entire thing, I'd say that yes, it was. If you were more optimistic, and easy going, it would not have been a waste, it would have been an experience, something to learn from, and something fun.

It really is all about your attitude.

talaniman
Jan 20, 2013, 06:36 PM
Home comings are boring when you don't interact with the people who are there, or you have a boring date. But I'm a guy and I try and dance with all the girls, except when it's a date that is.

So which was it, no friends were there, or no dancing for you?

16willdn
Jan 20, 2013, 06:43 PM
Home comings are boring when you don't interact with the people who are there, or you have a boring date. But I'm a guy and I try and dance with all the girls, except when its a date that is.

So which was it, no friends were there, or no dancing for you?

It was both no friends and I didn't dance nobody asked me to dance so I just sat in the cafeteria