I am an 18 yr old male in Michigan . I got my ex girlfriend pregnant right before we broke up. She refuses to get an abortion because she really hates me and wants to do this as revenge in her own words she wants to "take me for every dollar i have" . I have offered to pay for an abortion and she even said she went and got one on her own only to find out months later that she still hasn't got one. My question is if I sign away my rights will I still have to pay child support for a child she is trying to use against me

Don't be so quick to sign off this child quite yet! You may regret it! No, you will!

I had a male friend in the same situation about 6yrs ago. He was 19 and she was 18. They only dated about 6 months and yep, she got pregnant! He insisted she get an abortion, but she refused. He hated the thought of paying child support and insisted he would never pay it. He told her he would fight for custody so she would have to pay. He hated her for every month of her pregnancy for choosing to have this child, but everything changed the day that little baby boy was born. When he looked through the nursery glass at the tiny precious baby boy that looked just like him, he cried! He ran to the store and bought his boy diapers, clothes, and a swing. He begged the girl to forgive him and pleaded for her to allow him in her life with the child. She did! They have been together ever since and now have their 2nd child together.

I am not saying your situation is or will be the same, but you never know? God works in mysterious ways and I insure you, he does not want your ex to get an abortion!

Children are such a huge reward in someone's life, you are very blessed, and child support is such a small price to pay for such a HUGE payback!

She has chose to have this baby of yours, so PLEASE make the best of it!

You can't sign away rights unless she has someone to adopt the child or someone else to claim paternity, but think hard before you make your decision! Wait till you see your baby's face to make your choice, because once it is done... there is no going back!

Good Luck and God Loves You!

First she may not want an abortion on many other grounds also, and I am sickened at your total selfish nature to so quick kill a baby so you don't have to pay some money.

But first you can't do anything till the baby is born. After the baby is born you can sign away your rights, ( right to visit, right to custody) but you can not sign away your child support obigations, heck if it was as easy as just signing it away, would any man be in prison today for not paying?

So you need to stop having hate for her ( remember it was your desire for unprotected sex that helped make the baby)

So if you dislike the women, first that means you need to pick better with the people you have sex with, but it also means you need to be resonsible for your acts. Helping to raise your child is one of them.

Yep. You're going to be forking out a heck of a lot of money over the next 18 years or more.

Let me see if I've got this straight... YOU chose to have unprotected casual sex with someone, YOU got her pregnant, and YOU don't want to pay child support, so YOUR solution is to kill YOUR unborn child and never speak to this woman again? YOU should have thought about the possible consequences of YOUR ACTIONS! My advice is, deal with it, and make the best out of what YOU'VE got, because it's not all about YOU anymore.

Wow! I really can't stand guys! My bet... she just really doesn't want an abortion, do you have any idea how hard that is on a pregnant woman? Her saying she is going to take you for everything you've got is more than like being said out of hurt and anger toward you. Me being left at 3 months pregnant.. I completely understand HER pain! Guys think abortion is a form of birth control and that is just sick. Ever think she is already thinking about the beating little heart growing inside of her as I type this to you. GROW UP

You can sign away your involvement in this child's life, but you will still have to pay for it.

Next time you decide to sleep with someone maybe using a condom will stop another woman having the ability to 'take you for every dollar'.

It takes two to make a baby, stop blaming her and start supporting your child, and the mother of your child.

Listen, if the is just having the baby to spite this guy, she doesn't deserve to reproduce. My boyfriend has a child with he's ex who is currently a little over 3 months old, and she has let him see their baby ONE time, despite he's best efforts to get along with her. This girl has physically attacted us both while she was 7 months pregnant, and has gone so far as to key my car! She even broke into he's hosue before he and I got our own place and stole a car seat that he bought for the baby, this was also still while she was pregnant.

Now he and I have our own place and want to get married when we're both done with school (so in dec. or Jan.) and she's saying that she's never going to let him see their baby girl, and intends to take him for every single cent she can.

Some of you need to stop feeling sorry for these girls because guess what, that girl had just as much premarital sex as he did, and is just as responsible as he is, and doing things like refusing to let the father see the child, doesn't mean you're supposed to look at her and say "Oh you poor girl, raiseing that baby all alone." when girls do things like that, you know that it really is a child, havinbg a child.

It's not he's fault that the girl is a .

Firstly, the poster never said his girlfriend was going to stop him seeing the baby, he made it quite clear he doesn't want the baby to exist, but she wants to keep it.

Its about time men started dealing with the possible repercussions of having sex instead of leaving it to the women alone to cope with, and if they don't do as the father says, start having a hissy fit!

It takes two to make a baby, and no one has the right to tell a woman she must have an abortion. So what if she is saying she will take him to the cleaners? If he was a decent human being he would be offering child support and she wouldn't need to go through the courts to make him pay.

If a man is a decent father he can get access to his child, that's what the court system is for. I have zero sympathy for any man who helps create a child and then asks the woman to abort that child because he doesn't want to be a dad. That decision needs to be made before the child in conceived.

And I have no sympothy for a girl who wants to spread her legs and then and moan about the reprecutions of such actions.

Despite the fact the child grows and is born from the mother's body, it is still only 50% hers, and 50% his. So He has just as much right to want it aborted as she does to not want it.

I'm not saying she should listen, but if she wants to have a child, and he doesn't, and she knows this, then she should stop her ing and raise the child all by her self.

My mom was a teen mother and my dad was a druggie abuser and she never asked for a dime because she knew what she was getting her self into when she laid down in that bed, and was prepared to take care of it.

I respect her more than any other person I know because of this. She never kept me from my father because even as a baby, she love ed me enough, and respected me enough to allow me to make up my own mind about him, rather than her implant ideas in me about him.

Little girls need to grow up before they make babies.

She isn't the one moaning about the repercussions of her actions, she wants to have this baby and raise it, it is the father who doesn't. That makes her the decent one and not him. She is the one willing to live up to her reponsibilities as a creator of a child, while he is trying to worm his way out of it.

As I have said before, the decision as to whether a child is born should be made BEFORE conception , not after. He has every right to ask to her to have an abortion, she has every right to tell him no. Why should she have to raise that child without financial assistance from the father because he is too immature to live up to his reponsibilities? Why should any woman have to go against her own moral beliefs and kill her child just because her so called partner decides now is not a good time for him?

If HE didn't want to be a father, HE should have been taking care of that bit himself, and not relying on her to do it, same as if she didn't want a baby, she too could protect herself from that.

Endlesscho - Some girl who wants to spread her legs huh? How about the guy that had no problem jumping in between? You know in some states abortion isn't even an option? And if there is any guy who REALLY didn't want to get someone pregnant there are lots of things HE can do to prevent it. I know the girl can also, but it is her body to make that sort of decision. And by you saying little girls... heres the thing, I am 7 months pregnant, Im 24 years old and can very well support this baby on my own, but I don't think it is OK for a guy to just be able to flee from his EQUAL responsibility. As for your mother... I give her much respect also, but would she have really got any kind of support from a druggie anyway? So your situation may have been different.

Another thing... what kind of a woman starts dating a man who has a girlfriend who is 7 months pregnant? That's the sick person in that situation... ever here of a homewrecker? Maybe you should grow up and find your own man?

When He got her pregnant, they weren't even together, it was a one night stand after they had been broken up for several months and when she got pregnant they tried to make things work, and SHE broke up with him. And she is just a little girl. She only turned 17 right before she had her. I'm not a sick person for dating. I was friends with him and things progressed, I was friends with her too and she can't make up her mind. One second she says she's fine with it, the next she throws a hissy fit.

I'm not saying that she is the only one responsible. She's not. They both made a bad choice by sleeping together and creating a child when they weren't in a stable relationship. The thing is, my boyfriend has bought the baby everything he's ex has asked hium too and then some! He's begged and begged her to let him see the baby, and has done nothing but be civil and nice to her when talking and all she does is demand more and complain and still refuse to let him see he's baby. He's a full time student as am I and he's working 2 jobs and I am working 1 so that we can supoport ourselves and try and help her yet still, she treats him like crap and physically attacts us both, and does things like key my car.

I'm not saying that you or anyone else can't raise a baby on your own. I'm saying you should be well prepared to because as great as my guy is despite what you or anyone else on here night think, some guys aren't. Some guys would head for the hills.

I am shocked that you would think I'm sick for dating him while she was pregnant. It's not like he has freaking cancer just because he has a baby. She is the one who had sex with a guy while she was 7 months pregnant, not even her boyfriend (she doesn't have one of those) but a guy from work, and she paid for the motel room, just to have a one night stand.

That's what's sick.

Unlike some people, I don't feel sorry for girls who get pregnant and get left/choose to be single. Including you. I just wish that people like my guy's ex would stop using their baby as a pon to get their way and start actually being ga mother. She spends more time bad mouthing me to my boyfriend then she does discussing the baby. SO I have ever right to call her a little girl, and frankly, I think you're acting like one too.

Abortion is not the issue at hand here... (while I agree it is a worthwhile topic, sny) If two people CHOOSE to have SEX, the they are EQUALLY responsible for the consequences. Endless, while I realize you are trying to drum up support for your post about your boy toy's baby here, it AIN'T HAPPENING WITH ME. As far as I am concerned, you are an immature little girl trying to manipulate her boyfriend into giving up a baby that is his for her own benefit. When you add 10 years to your life experience you will KNOW I am RIGHT, even if you still don't like it.

Excuse me? I have never, EVER told my boyfriend that he should sign over he's rights, EVER. He has made up he's mind all on he's own. The only advise I have given him as to what he should do is to try and talk to her and be civil for the child's sake and if it doesn't work, talk to an attorny, but most of all, to talk to the Lord. I love and support my borfired in everything that he does rather I think it's right or wrong and in all honesty, in the situation I don't think there is a wrong for him to do.

I'm not saying this girl should go get an abortion. No one can make her, but if you ask me, the guy has every right to ask her to. It's an abotion, and when you get pregnant out of wed-locke, you explore your actions.

All I'm saying here is I hope that the girl he's dealing with isn't a crazy B*tch like my bf's ex.

I'm intitled to say what I like to these guy, I'm sorry I'm not clone copying your thoughts and agreeing with you here, but I think most of you people are A-Holes who think every dad who doesn't straight up marry the girl who is pregnant is a "dead beat"

And that's flat out STUPID.

How the frick is Endless doing wrong here? SHE is trying to support her boyfriend in all he's doing. Her boyfriend is lucky to have a women like her. She said he's doing all he can to see the kiddo, and to help but the stupid biotch isn't letting him. I agree, women need to stop being hormonal and trying to pin a guy in a relationship or w/e. So what, he got her pregnant, move on. If I got pregnant from my fiancé and he broke it off for some unknown reason, I'd make him pay child support and being the good man he is he would never the less. BUT I wouldn't try to get back at him for leaving me and making stupid desisons. Enless is just trying to make a point. You know what, if I knew you Enless, I think we'd be good pals. You the type of person I like. Nice and kind. You know what time of the day it is. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure its all going to work out as long as you stick with your boyfriend. As for Rex, good luck to you man. I know its tough, but you need to understand its her body and if she wants to be immiture then let her have an abortion. Sure you have to pay money but you ficked her. So uhhh deal man.

The problem I have with what you are saying is that you are making the OP's question about yourself, and your responses go on more about your problems than they do in addressing the OP's. You have a post for your question. You have no idea what the OP's pregnant ex is like, or why she is really keeping this baby. This is a young guy who is angry with his ex, and she is angry with him. People say a lot of things to be hurtful when they are mad at each other. Most people DO NOT take on a lifelong obligation just to spite the other person. It's that simple. There are much easier and simpler ways to hurt someone.

What does that have to do with anything. She was just sharing her story, a similar case. So what if it goes a bit off topic. Deal with it. Conversation's do that from time to time. If you have friend's you should know that. Less you sit at home and never talk to people lol.

As long as it comes back to the main point its all good.

Here's another option, unless someone already suggested it and I missed it in the other stories. Maybe he should start by having a paternity test after this baby is born. Then... go from there. His feelings may be totally different if number one, the baby is his and number two, after he sees the baby.

Ok nobody keeps a baby to be a biotch... what is wrong with you people? What happened to this world. A baby is a human life... I can't even be a part of this discussion anymore its wrong.

No one SHOULD keep a baby because of the wrong reasons, but people do, everyday.

It's a sad world we live in.

Also... I don't know the guy who posted the question, and I don't know he's situation, but excuse me if my voiceing my opinion and advise to him refers to my situation, but the only life I live is my own, and the only person I can speak for is myself so when some one has a problem, I try and related it to what I know and have lived to search my knowledge and feelings.

Im sorry, why should SHE have to give up her child because her sexual partner can't face up to his responsibilities? He should have thought about that before having sex without using a condom. Its quite simple to prevent pregnancy if you can just be bothered. If not, you have to deal with it.

I by no means think that she should have to give up her child, she most certainly doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, but she should use the child as a pon to get her way as he's said she is. And maybe she's not. But she hasn't said anything to us, he has, so if he's telling thr truth and I see no reason as to why he wouldn't be, He's not in the wrong for making a suggestion, she doesn't have to listen, no one's holding a gun to her head. Give the guy a break! He's telling you he's problem and you take the other parties side when she hasn't even offered it. That shows that some of you on here are truly close minded, and aren't actually paying any attention to what's going on. You don't think before you reach up your butt and throw something on the screen.

Jessica, I agree with you. Raynefreak, you're on my ignore list, so I have no idea what you've written and don't care. To Rex, it's a tough break, but you can't simply escape the financial obligations of being a dad. Down the road you may feel differently about wanting to be a part of your child's life in more than just a financial capacity. I hope you make the right decision for you and your child, regardless of the mother. Best of luck.

Ok that's pretty sad... just because people are disagreeing they put you on ignore list, how childish is that LOL. WOW... im in total shock here. Everyone is disagreeing with me like I'm the bad person, like w/e. I think this is stupid, I feel attacked. Vlee you really need to learn to take critisim, if you can dish it then fickin' take it. As for everyone else, if you don't agree with Enless, fine. I think she's doing the best she can, I read between the lines, so to disagree, ha go ahead. But I know I'm right. It's stupid to argue about it further so w/e.

Yea I'm not a mindless drone as lots of people would have me to be, lol

I think what Raynefreak meant was that she would keep it because she knows that he would have to pay child support, that would at least be the reason she was tellling him. I can't even begin to think that she really and truly would keep a child just to get back at someone and if that is her one and only reason, then she doesn't deserve to be having a child in the first place. I think what we have here is a case of severe immaturity and their first reactions to the news. Lets be honest in most situations like this, unfortunately that is some peoples first reaction. It doesn't make it right by any means, but a baby controls peoples lives when they don't want or aren't ready for them to be controlled.

What I was trying to say before everyone got jumpy was that if it was me pregnant and my fiancé broke it off for some unknown reason, I wouldn't try to get him back by making stupid choices. If I chose to abort the child it'd be in the early stage's of pregnancy. If I chose to give it up for adoption, it'd be because we both made the decision that we couldn't care for the child. BUT if I chose to keep it, I'd only do that if we both were truly willing. I think Enless, is just trying to stand by her boyfriend because it's his choice. Personally, OK he got a chick pregnant. But that doesn't mean she has the right to keep it. If they both come to the conclusion that they can care for it and get along, then they would. She's just trying to hurt him if it were me, I'd tell that girl off. She's trying to ruin lives. Just because you get pregnant doesn't mean you have to have it. She could abort it in early stages, or give for adoption. But to try to make him stay with her because she's a biotch is wrong. Both of these women seem to be doing that. I personally think its wrong to have a kid born into a broken up relationship. That's not good for the kid. It's better off with 2 people who want it. Sure this isn't a desirable situation, but hey people make mistakes. Next time maybe they'll learn from them. Ppl need to stop getting one faced and angry just because someone on this site disagree's. Not all us younger people have the same veiws as a older person. Not all us younger people has the same veiws as people our own age sometimes. BUT we come her to talk, not get emotionally attacked and verbally asslated. That's all. I'm not a bad person, I love kid's. But personally, my fiancé and I aren't ready for one. Just because I get pregnant, doesn't give me the right to make keeping it my choice and mine alone. He'd have to deal with it too, for the rest of his life. So no, it's not her body alone. When your in a relationship, its your partner's as well.

I'm done with this topic, I don't think it's going anywhere and we gave him the best advice possible.

I completely agree that its your opinion and some of your points I agree with. I think why people are getting upset is because not everyone agrees with abortion and especially when its for a reason like being irresponsible in the first place. Pregnancy can be avoided and with all the technology today there are numerous ways to do so. I do have to disagree with you on one point and that is just because he doesn't want the baby does not mean that she has to either get an abortion or give it up for adoption. She could very well take responsibility for both of their negligence and decide to have the baby and raise that baby with much love and care. If she chooses to do so without his support, that is strictly HER decision not anyone else's.

I am an 18 yr old male in michigan . i got my ex girlfriend pregnant right before we broke up. she refuses to get an abortion because she really hates me and wants to do this as revenge in her own words she wants to "take me for every dollar i have" . I have offered to pay for an abortion and she even said she went and got one on her own only to find out months later that she still hasnt got one. My question is if i sign away my rights will I still have to pay child support for a child she is trying to use against me
Have you talked about adoption? There are tons of programs that will give support and help throughout the process. I understand that a mistake was made, but terminating a life is a choice you will both regret later. There are many families out there on waiting lists. Begging for the opportunity to love a child. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 7 years. We are now looking at adoption. Not thinking got you in this situation, don't be foolish and make an even greater mistake by not thinking things through.

Actually, Rayne... that's what people are disagreeing with.

Legally, it IS her choice, and hers alone. Sucks to be a guy in that situation, but unfortunately, that's the way it is.

Most guys can't make the connection between "pregnant" and "MY CHILD" in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy until the baby is born. They just see "OMG, my life is over". A LOT of women see that at first too.

The thing is... pregnancy changes you, for better or for worse. You're HIGHLY aware of the changes in your body. Guys don't GET that. In an unplanned situation, many guys never make the bond with their child at all... it's just some kid out there, to them.

The way you blithely throw adoption around as an option frankly p!sses me off. I've dealt with the reprecussions of placing my daughter for adoption for 15 years, and I went into it eyes wide open and made that choice willingly. Stating that a woman should give her child away in adoption just because the father doesn't want to deal with the consequences of having sex is immature and ridiculous.

It SHOULD be a woman's choice what to do. In most cases a man SHOULD be held financially responsible for his children.

Sorry if you don't like that, but my mother and grandmother fought so that women had control over their reproductive rights, and I'll be damned if I let you blithely state that we should go back to men telling us what to do with our bodies.

Its OK to disagree. Agree to disagree I say. Ppl can disagree, that's fine. But I'm not changing what I think. I hated men before my fiancé and I met. I was always bossed around by them, hurt by them. I know what it's like to not have my rights. So I know it's important to have freedom from that control men had. But, in this situation only, I feel it's both ppl's choice to make. It may be my body, but in a relaionship, I want what is best for my fiancé as well as myself. So the choice is split. In everything else, I'm very independent and say fick off to people telling me what to do. But a child is forever. These women, if they choice to not abort or put in adoption despite the man's wishes, then he should IN my eye's be able to say well, it wasn't my choice so I can leave or stay. I was in no way trying to state that women should bow down to men and go back in time where we were beat for anything. But in a loving relaitonship, in mine, I would make this choice with my fiancé. I'd never do anything to force him to stay with me or give me money. In a loving relationship, the baby is wanted. But these women are in a broken one. They don't even deserve to have the kid's. And personally I hope someone takes it away.


But there's not any point in being rude, and rasist just because people disagree. THAT is my freaking point. All people have done with Enless and myself in other post's have tried to make us feel like were bad perosns because of our actions or words. Too many people on this site tell me that they actually don't like this site because of the rude and rasist people. W/e. I'm a good person, I came out of an abusive home better then ever. We don't come to this site to be mocked or riticuled. Or critisied. Every bit of advice I give is just my opinion. I NEVER make people feel bad or like they did something wrong. I have enough crap to deal with in REAL life. I don't come her to fell like killing myself. God, have sypathy for those worse off. I don't need to be made out bad. I want to be uplifted. To be uplifting. I'm done with this, its going NO where.

You summed up the whole problem here with your last post. You were talking about this situation like it was a boyfriend and girlfriend in a relationship and oops got pregnant and therefore the guy should have a say in what she decides to do about it. These two people are no longer in a relationship and were not in one when she got pregnant, therefore he does not get to put his two cents worth in on what she is going to do. She is standing independently on her own going "now what". Therefore she needs to make the decision now. But she needs to make it based upon what would be best for her and the child, not for immature reasons to get back at him. Your not wrong or right Rayne, I think we all just lost sight of the topic at hand here and it snowballed out of control.

I agree with Rayne. I also don't believe that women should have to give into what a man wants. If these girls are able and willing to make the decision to have unprotected sex, they are able to understand the potential outcome. I have a younger sister who got pregnant. Once her boyfriend found out he disappeared. Wanted no part of it and was a deadbeat who couldn't pay child support even if he stuck around. My sister had the difficult decision of deciding what was best for the baby. A single mom making minimum wage? Abortion? Adoption? None of these are ideal options. She decided to keep the baby and now I have a beautiful 5 year old nephew who has a multitude of health issues and is developmentally delayed. Our family helps out the best we can. My parents and my husband and I, but she has a really tough time. She lives with not being able to give him everything she would like. They are one of the lucky ones. There are approximately 1,466,000 children in foster care in the US. I realize these kids are in there for a variety of reasons, but how many are there because the parents were just too young to deal with the huge responsibility of being a parent? I have a child and it's hard. I'm lucky enough to be married, but even under the best circumstances, being a parent is challenging. We were lucky enough to plan getting pregnant, but now after 7 years of trying for another child have been unsuccessful. We have been looking into adoption and have also taken classes to foster parent. I personally do not believe in abortion, but I do think that there are adoption alternatives for these children whose parents are realistic and know that they are not going to be able to care for these children. I would much rather see a child have the opportunity to go into a loving home, than stay with these young parents who have no idea how to cope with being a parent.

Endlessecho why should she support the child financially by herself. They had unprotected sex together. He didn't force her and she didn't force him. She is taking on a whole lot more than just financial responsibility. What about her body, the am feedings, school, day care, groceries, diapers, clothes. Lets face it child support usually helps a little bit but doesn't even come close to the actual costs of having a child. So she askd for 17% of his income and takes on all the rest by herself. Doesn't sound that awful to me. She could request that he have visitation, she obviously can't force that but she is understanding he doesn't want anything to do with this child emotional or physically. She is taking on a much bigger responsibility than he would be.

I'm not saying she should for hevans sakes. I'm saying that if she wants to make all the decisions like so many pregnant girls often do, then she should be prepared to do it all herself to. I am not saying she should have to pay for everything just because the dad's father doesn't want to. You're twisting my words around. I'm saying that a girls should do whatever she wants with a kid she shares with someone else, and never respect there wishes, and just want their money, it's F-up.

Endlessecho is this not what you said? "I think it's MESSED UP that prgnant girls want to make ALL the choices, and just take a guys money." How did I twist your words. Your talking out both sides of your mouth now. You said the words "and just take all the guys money". She isn't asking for all his money. Just a small portion to help raise the child he helped create. He in a way gave up some control of what happens with his finances when he chose to have unprotected sex. That's what's wrong with all this, no one realizes all the consequences of unprotected sex! Everything from std's to a kid!

I did say that, and this guy, who posted that wuestion has said that the girl wants to take him for everything, and I think that's messed up. She wants to make all the choices and the only thing she wants from him is he's cash flow.

What's sad is that there really are girls out there who simply have their babies to get back at thie guys who left them, that if they weren't vengeful, they would choice to allow the baby to be adopted or aborted.

IF (and that a big IF) she's not having this baby for the reasons that this guy says she is, then she has a right to ask for he's financial aid, but if she's going to use this innocent child as a toy to get what she wants, and to make her ex sffer, then I frankly think she SHOULD get an abortion and save everyone some heart ach, either that or just get over herself, and learn to live her life with out being a little princess who always gets her way.

Endlessecho is this not what you said? "I think it's MESSED UP that prgnant girls want to make ALL the choices, and just take a guys money." How did I twist your words. Your talking out both sides of your mouth now. You said the words "and just take all the guys money". She isnt asking for all his money. Just a small portion to help raise the child he helped create. He in a way gave up some control of what happens with his finances when he chose to have unprotected sex. thats whats wrong with all this, no one realizes all the consequences of unprotected sex! everything from std's to a kid!


You are right kanicky. No one thinks about the risks of unprotected sex, and no one has the right to deny any consequences it may have. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if it was a "mistake". It is now a baby, and a baby is a responsibility. Daddy should have shelled out a few bucks for a box of condoms, or walked away if he didn't want a child. Even a sixth grader knows that is a risk of unprotected sex.

None of that matters. It's not about you and it is not about her anymore. If she has decided to keep the baby, you will just have to deal with the responsibility and so will she, but now it's really not about either of you. It is about this child that is going to brought in to this world. Whether you take part in this child's life or not, he or she will always be a part of you and it is not fair to make this child pay for his/her parents shortcomings. My daughter has had to grow up with the knowledge of her father, but him never playing an active part in her life and I tell you it breaks my heart whenever her heart breaks for him. Think about what you would be giving up if you didn't take part, because you don't want to change your mind in the future and have to try to make up for "lost time" and discover that it is too late. Just think about this before you decide anything. And don't hate her, as cruel as she may be acting, she is still the mother of your child and she deserves as much respect as you deserve.

Spiral Jane
I could not have said that better! It is about the child now.

I think Fr_Chuck has given the best advice on this one!

WHY do men think ABORTION is nothing more than getting a TOOTH PULLED or something?
It's MURDER!!
Read the BIBLE MR is my advice to YOU!

Abortion should never be a option for anyone! There are people out there who can't have children and would love to be a parent; if she decides she wants to give the baby up.You guys made a child together! Maybe it's not revenge, maybe she wants to raise HER child and not murder him/her; maybe she says its revenge because she can't cope with going at this on her own; and really needs you there supporting her. I'm 18 I've been married almost a year and have a 4 month old daughter, whom I had when I was 17. She is the best thing that could ever happen to me! I was woman enough to raise my child.
I suggest sitting in on one of her ultrasounds; or going to one of her doctor visits.
Children are truly blessings no matter how old or young you are! Maybe one day you will be able to experience it. This is a decision that will change the rest of your life; for the best or for the worst!
Now that you are "grown up" and you are going to be a father you guys need to sit down and have a grown conversation and come to terms. She shouldn't have to worry about talking to you because every time you guys do you're going to ask if she's killed the baby yet. Maybe it will turn out for the best.
And if she does have an abortion I really hope you stay to watch what they have to do to that precious child.
A child should NEVER have to wander if they were a mistake!

I'm not saying she should for hevans sakes. I'm saying that if she wants to make all the decisions like so many pregnant girls often do, then she should be prepared to do it all herself to. I am not saying she should have to pay for everything just becuase the dad's father doesn't want to. You're twisting my words around. I'm saying that a girls should do whatever she wants with a kid she shares with someone else, and never respect there wishes, and just want thier money, it's F-up.

All the decisions? There are only 3 options abort/ adopt/kept -- the only one the father has mentioned is abort.

Now remember when he says she's keEping the baby out of spite --we are hearing ONE SIDE OF THE STORY.

Savage

The person carrying and growing the child in HER womb has a lot more right to decide whether she wants to do it or not than the guy who screwed her without thought of consequence. (GLOVE UP or SHUT UP.) NO ONE has a child for the purposes of messing with someone else financially. There is FAR more involved in raising a child than $$$$$. The fact that anyone could be so little and selfish as to believe that a woman would have a child merely to FUC* with some they slept with is laughable. It speaks to immaturity and lack of the ability to understand what a pregnant (and abandoned) woman is facing. Any woman that says she is going to screw a man financially is NOT keeping a baby for that purpose. She is merely rightfully pissed at being left alone to care for a life she isn't interested in killing and CLEARLY did NOT create on her own. Deal with it.

Well there is certainly "more than meet the eye" here it is actually a sad situation from the perspective of the child. Hopefully the baby will be able to find some one to look to as a father figure.And as Vlee said its really not about money its about this kids rights to have people who want him and love him/her. And this is not the way one shows that.

Brilliant

–adjective 1.shining brightly; sparkling; glittering; lustrous: the brilliant lights of the city. 2.distinguished; illustrious: a brilliant performance by a young pianist. 3.having or showing great intelligence, talent, quality, etc.: a brilliant technician. 4.strong and clear in tone; vivid; bright: brilliant blues and greens; the brilliant sound of the trumpets. 5.splendid or magnificent: a brilliant social event. –noun 6.Jewelry. A gem, esp. a diamond, having any of several varieties of the brilliant cut.

now remember when he says shes keEping the baby out of spite --we are hearing ONE SIDE OF THE STORY.

Savage

That's right, we only have this guys side of the story, yet more than half the responses on here are taking the mother's side... I think that is so far beyond wrong that I do't even know what to say!

You all need to get over your self-rightous selves and get a life. And most certainly stop telling people how to live thiers.

That's right, we only have this guys side of the story, yet more than half the responses on here are taking the mother's side... I think that is so far beyond wrong that I do't even know what to say!

You all need to get over your self-rightous selves and get a life. And most certainly stop telling people how to live thiers.

Umm did you forget that this is a Q&A site? That people come here to get advice on how to live their lives? That's what we do here!!

YOU need to stop being so abusive of other people. Insults like "get a life" are NOT welcome here.

What about the baby's side?

Tell you what, Matt: You go right ahead and speak up for the rights of the baby, and I'll keep speaking up for the rights of the mother.

We'll never agree.

But hey! At least someone is speaking up for all sides, right?

Yes Matt, it is the unborn baby today that we are allowed to murder, I watched a film on partial birth abortion and to be honest I can not believe any person could do that to a child.

But we see it in society, what is best for ME, what is MY right not what is better for another person, our society has gotten selfish in its personal desires. And what is next, if killing them right at birth ( partial birth) I can see society saying OK they are only 2 year old, and disabled, lets kill them also. There is little difference, it is stlil the mothers choice??

And we have those that want to do away with the elderly, they complain about their cost on society, and would go though the nursing homes taking away the lifes of any that are not productive to society.

Life has little value or meaning to these type of people, it is all what is best for ME, The US has made life a disposable item up to the courts or a person to decide.

While abortion may be legal in the US, it does not make it right, the choice of 5 judges based on an incorrect ruling ( even the person who brought the case wants it over turned) does not make something right, only legal. For years it was legal to own slaves, did that make it right?

So at times, someone has to stand up and tell those that are so immoral in their beleifs that they don't understand that murder is wrong because it is a personal selfish desire, that they are wrong, no matter what the law says.

Abortion should never be a option for anyone!

I'm sorry but that IS taking the option away from everyone. Calling it murder also tries to take it away.

Whether life begins at conception or birth is a religious belief. Making a statement that abortion is murder is imposing your religious beliefs on others.

I am not pro abortion. I would counsel any female to consider the consequences of having one. But I do support their right to make that decision. You clearly don't.

Tell you what, Matt: You go right ahead and speak up for the rights of the baby, and I'll keep speaking up for the rights of the mother.

We'll never agree.

But hey! At least someone is speaking up for all sides, right?

Ok for one thing I'm not talking about abortion. I am talking about kids that are already born i.e.. The kids right to have a father that cares about him. Kids out of the womb also have rights. But since you brought it up the mother has the choice (generally) to get pregnant, the baby has none. The mother has the right to not get pregnant, not extinguish a life.

Ok, I'm all for ppl's rights, but a kid not born and completely developed doesn't have much. My opinion is that its wrong to make everyone suffer and yourself due to a bad choice. Just because I'd take the pill or if I had to get a abortion, either there really the same... anyway, I'm not selfish, cruel or all about myself. I care about my fiancé, and other's more then myself. BUT if your not ready to have a kid you shouldn't be frowned on for not having on.e. Grow up people, no offense but it's the 21st century. Some people make bad chocies for no good reason, but I like to think many more do things for the right reasons. Doctor's tried to help women and their families with this and created ways to delay or stop pregnancy. Not all of us veiw what we did as a mistake. I have a healthy sex life and guess what? I'm not going to stop just because someone is stupid and tries to make me feel bad or tries to boss me around. If I get pregnant and don't want to be, then I'm taking a pill. I'm not rdy for kids, if I ever am more then a few months along id change my story about delaying or stopping pregnancy. But seriously, its my body and every women's yes, BUT if your with a man it is his body and life as well. SORRY to tell you, if you don't think so, then you have no reaspect for your man in my opinion. I'm not saying if he tells you to shoot yourself do it, figure it out.

Oh and are you also saying that a raped women must have the kid? F that. If you said no she doesn't have to, then right their your being a hypocrite and saying abortion aka ''delaying or stopping pg'' is OK in certain situaions and you my friend need it grow up. Its all or nothing. Pick or choose. You sure can't ride both sides of the fence. I know a chick who was raped and got pg. She had an abortion because she didn't have the means of taking care of a child AND every time she'd look at it she'd know it was because she was raped. That's great huh? So I backed her up. I'd do the same. Why bother wasting 9 months of hell then giving to adoption? That's stupid, just get it out and then its over. Move on. She did. _That was just a story to explain myself.

Well lets all just be glad our mothers didn't consider us "stupid mistakes."

Heh, my mother didn't want me, she had sex because my dad bet he could screw a fat chick. Look here I am! Lol, anyone else have a crapy birth story?

Don't feel bad. Mom stopped taking her birth control and by the time she confessed it to my dad, she was already pregnant, she just didn't know it. Lol

And my fiancé only had sex with his ex because he was horney hand hungover/drunk, and she ended up knocked up.

By the way, since you are the only one that cares Raynefreak, he has childsupport court in two weeks, and in a month, I have court with his ex from where she keyed my car. The estimated damage is worth $840.35! And I only paid $500 for my car... lol talk about bad Karma for her...

So how have you been? I'm not on here much. For the oh-so-obvious reasons.

Why would you want to sign your rights away this little human is yours its suxs she sounds like a witch but you need to step up and take responsibility.

Children don't need both origanal parent's. Sometime's having a sep-parent is better then the real one's. Sometime's having one parent can be a good thing. Sometime's being adopted is good as well. It depends on the situation/s. The court system thinks only to make the women happy, hardly ever about the man. Or this is true with my uncle's case. But no one care's. My uncle is devorced and his witch of a x is NOT a parent. What kind of mom would make her kids move just because she was selfish and wanted ALL the money and nameless other things? Sometime's people don't deserve to be parent's, the court is wrong sometime's and that's my point. If you ever disagree then fight for your belief's.

I agree with you totally Ryanefreak, but for some reason, I wasn't able to 'rate' your answer to tell you. But you are right, most court systems and people are going to take the mother's side with out really thinking about the facts.

I would guess that most people here taking the anti-abortion side are parents, while their pro choice counterparts are not. For anyone who has a child and loves him or her, it is impossible to imagine life without them, even if they were conceived in less than desirable circumstances. However, even those who think abortion is OK in some situations (as I do) can not deny that although the final decision lies in the mother's hands, the father already knows that this is the way things work before having sex. Therefore he has no legitimate basis for expecting a woman to follow his desires to abort a baby. The courts give women the right to choose because it is the woman's body that shelters and grows the child. It is the woman who has to physically change and be capable of caring for the unborn baby in her womb. It is the woman who risks the health problems that can result from having a child. It is the woman, in this sort of situation, who is ALONE, with no partner to support her during pregnancy or delivery, or God forbid a miscarriage or stillbirth. Yet she is willing to take on this incredible challenge by herself. No uninvolved man has any right to tell her whether she should mother her own child. And he has no right to walk away from his child either. He could have opted not to have sex, or to use birth control. Instead he helped create a baby. There are consequences for that, but there is also great reward.

I too am a pro-choice parent. As I stated, it was just a guess. Adoption is a great alternative, but is equally not always a viable option when one parent wants the child and the other does not, since both parents have to sign away their rights. In the case of the OP here, he says she plans to keep the baby and he doesn't want to. So while he has asked her to abort, she has chosen not to. He would probably be agreeable to adoption, but it doesn't sound like she would based on what he wrote. Maybe one day she will find a guy who wants to be a father to her child, then the OP can allow him to adopt their child.

I Have A 6 Year Old Son Who's "donor" Signed Over Every Single Right He Had When My Son Was 9 Months Old, He Did Not Pay Child Support After That And He Never Paid It Before That So There Is No Difference There. He Has Not Called Or Tried To Contact Me Since 2001 And My Son Is Better Off, He Never Treated Me Good For 2 Years And He Would Have Never Treated My Son Good. I Live In Pennsylvania And That's Our Law Here, But Just Some Words Of Advice Think Long And Hard Before You Go Down That Road, It Might Seem Hard Now To Think Of Being A Father But Having A Child Is A Wonderful Thing, Just Because You Have A Child Doesn't Mean You Have To Be The Mothers Boyfriend, That Child Will Always Have You Has His/her Dad, Give It A Chance, You Will Regret It Maybe Not Now But Eventually You Will Believe Me. Good Luck!!

Brook

I Have A 6 Year Old Son Who's "donor" Signed Over Every Single Right He Had When My Son Was 9 Months Old, He Did Not Pay Child Support After That And He Never Paid It Before That So There Is No Difference There. ... I Live In Pennsylvania And Thats Our Law Here,

If he has not paid child support, that's because you haven't required it. If you pursued support through the courts, he would have to pay. I don't know of any state laws that allow a bio father to voluntarily and legally not pay support.

In Pennsylvania When You Sign Over Every Single Right You Have As A Parent There Is No Way To Get Child Support, Basically It's Almost Like He Disappears Off The Face Of The Earth (which He Did), He Has No Rights At All As A Parent Therefore Not Even Being Eligible To Pay For Suupport For A Child That He Gave Away.

Brook

I too am from PA, can not find one single case where giving up parental rights resulted in giving up parental obligations. Every site I've been to says the same thing... You may be able to give up rights, but you still have to financially support your child. It can even be difficult to give up rights, as a judge must agree that it is in the best interest of the child. There was a case in PA in 2005 where a sperm donor was sued for child support... and lost! The state Supreme Court upheld the family court's decision. As far as I know the donor planned to file an appeal at the US Supreme Court level.

Brook, See what vlee said. I think you are completely wrong in this. If you can cite one stature or rulling that supports your contention, please do. But unless you can back up what you say, especially when it contradcits what several other people have said, please don't give misinformation. We pride ourselves on the quality of the advice we give here. Incorrect advice will be corrected.

I am an 18 yr old male in michigan . i got my ex girlfriend pregnant right before we broke up. she refuses to get an abortion because she really hates me and wants to do this as revenge in her own words she wants to "take me for every dollar i have" . I have offered to pay for an abortion and she even said she went and got one on her own only to find out months later that she still hasnt got one. My question is if i sign away my rights will I still have to pay child support for a child she is trying to use against me

Ok, I quit reading responses because this post has gotten way out of hand.

Let’s look at it this way:
1) It takes 2 people to make a baby... Rex, if you didn't want a child at 18 then honestly you should have been protected so that would not happen. And vice versa, she should have been protected also if she didn't want a child.

2) Abortion SHOULD NOT be used as a form of birth control. That (in MY opinion) is stupidity on anyone’s part. Again, if you are not ready for a child then PROTECT yourself.

3) You are upset, I understand. Maybe she said that because she is upset too. She was in a relationship that went sour (for reasons none of us know) and after you broke up she finds out she is pregnant. She probably was not expecting the response that she got from you and she lashed out. That is completely wrong of her and any "parent" that would use a child against the other parent just to "take you for every dollar you have" should not be a parent at all.

Unfortunately, you are in a world that no longer looks at things realistically. This world has become not about equal rights but about switching roles. Instead of giving us women the right to equality we have now been given the upper hand against men. To all those that have said "It is our body" I say this. Yes it is OUR body, but it is also Their baby too. The father should have an option in this too. If you want to have this baby and he does not, then he should have the right to not be ANY part of this child's life just as you have the right to have it. Same goes for men who want the child and the women does not, but that is a different post.

Right on! I agree with you 100%!!

This thread is THREE YEARS OLD.

CLOSED.