View Full Version : Want to break up with him, but we live together.
 
 jodi484
Jan 1, 2013, 12:02 PM
I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 and 1/2 yrs now. Things were great until we got an apartment together about a year and a half ago. Now we never have sex, and we feel more like roomates than a couple. If/when we do have sex, I feel nothing for him and its more of a chore than pleasure. I've also been wanting to start seeing other men because I have no emotional attraction left for my boyfriend
 
 I know most people have told me "just move out" but I am trapped because of our lease and I'm not financially stable enough to move out alone right now. Also, I don't have any close friends or family that I could shack up with because I moved far away when I started college. 
 
I have tried talking about a break before, but it didn't work because we live together. What should I do?
 mareola
Jan 1, 2013, 12:40 PM
1) Stop having sex with him.  2) Begin saving money.  3)Wait until your lease is up (you didn't say how long you have left, but I assume it's less than a year).  4) Find a new roommate.  5) Don't move it with boyfriends ever again.  
 
If you aren't willing to do these things than perhaps you aren't really over him.
 Curlyben
Jan 1, 2013, 01:07 PM
Your previous question answers most of these questions: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/cant-have-sex-him-because-molested-706631.html
 Fr_Chuck
Jan 1, 2013, 01:38 PM
You made your choices,  first if you have stopped feeling for him,  is this why sex is a chore ?
 
And how often is "not having sex"   
But I agree just stop having sex with him if you don't feel anything and he does not care about it.
 
As for as the lease, so you move out ?  He is living there and will have to pay it so he can keep living there?
 
Or you can play the happy "wife" and be a slave to the relationship because you can not find a way to move out
 talaniman
Jan 1, 2013, 01:48 PM
Of course talking to your room mate honestly has never occurred to you has it?
 joypulv
Jan 1, 2013, 01:51 PM
If you can split expenses of an apartment with him, you can do so with a female roommate (or 2) elsewhere.  Start looking at roommate ads or advertise, and tell him about it.  (If you have a 1 bedroom together, I assume he can't get someone to replace you.)  You'd be surprised how quickly the end of a lease happens, and you can be prepared.
I agree that it isn't clear whether he wants sex and you don't or what.
 talaniman
Jan 1, 2013, 02:06 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/cant-have-sex-him-because-molested-706631.html