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dodo2121
Dec 31, 2012, 05:47 PM
I have recently engaged and my fiancé is very angry with me over a chat I told him regarding living together.

I come from a family who does not approve living together before marriage. He lives in Manchester and I live in London.

I told him I will come and visit but he wants me to come and live fully with his and doesn't agree on my mother idea.

I understand we r committed to one another and there shouldn't be such a rule but I respect my mother and do not want to make her feel I’m doing something which she never approve of to begin with

I have tried to convince him but he doesn't want to listen I don't know what to do.

Animallova
Dec 31, 2012, 06:50 PM
Do something nice for him, it could be as simple as baking cookies, let him know you care! Once you get his attention, calmely explain that you love him but he is going to have to wait until after your married to move in with him, but you love the idea and you defantly will after because you respect your mum as well as him
Hope this helped ;)

ScottGem
Dec 31, 2012, 07:03 PM
Frankly, I don't see a future for you. If he doesn't respect your wishes in something like this, then he doesn't care for you as much as he needs to for a long term relationship.

Animallova
Dec 31, 2012, 07:16 PM
Scottgem could be right, but I would talk to him before you do anything in case your getting the wrong inpression

Cat1864
Dec 31, 2012, 07:55 PM
May I ask how long you have known each other and what your relationship has been like up to the time you became engaged? How did you meet? If you live in different cities how much time have your spent together getting to know each other and your respective families?

This is something that should have been discussed during dating. Frankly, if his reaction is as strong as you say it is, I would be very worried about moving in with him only for him to keep changing the date. The term in confidence (con) games is 'Bait and Switch'. Why go through a ceremony when he is getting what he wants without one?

After he has a chance to clam down, talk to him again and this time make certain you both know what each other is expecting for the engagement and future marriage. If possible, work together to find a compromise for any issues. If it isn't possible, engagements are a time for deciding if you are compatible enough to make a marriage work so don't be afraid to walk away if you think it would be for the best

Please don't ignore any possible warning signs and keep communicating with your mother and friends especially if you feel confused or like he is trying to talk you into things which may make you uncomfortable. .

You can also add more information or question about the relationship to this thread and we will continue to give you advice.

ScottGem
Dec 31, 2012, 09:04 PM
scottgem could be right, but i would talk to him before you do anything incase your getting the wrong inpression

Did you read what she said?; "i have tried to convince him but he doesn't want to listen i don't know what to do."

Clearly she has talked to him. It may be worth to try again, but the way I see it is that he doesn't respect the OP enough,

talaniman
Dec 31, 2012, 09:24 PM
Stick to what you know is right, and if he can't cope with it, then let the baby have a hissy fit and be stupid. This is such a small thing really but maybe you are learning things now you didn't know before. Watch how he handles not getting his way.

Do nothing but pay attention. CLOSE attention. Its him that must do something, NOT you!

Fr_Chuck
Jan 1, 2013, 02:40 AM
Your boyfriend is not being respectful and appears to have his own lust or desire in place.

When is the marriage planned, and no what you are asking is more the normal, what he wants is often the lesser of what happens.

He does not have to "listen" he has to be told, this is what is happening, if you don't like it, you are not being respectful

dodo2121
Jan 2, 2013, 03:30 AM
Thank u all for your advice