kmsand410
Dec 31, 2012, 11:55 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together for nine months. We’re both 22, and this is both of ours first relationship.
It took him one month for our first kiss, and that was after I asked him why we hadn’t kissed yet. After that, the only time we would ever kiss is when we were saying goodbye to each other. I asked him a few times if he wanted to make out, but he turned me down. I would get upset with the lack of affection, and I would often talk to him about it and cry about it. I used to cry every day because I felt like he wasn’t attracted to me. I thought something was wrong with me. I couldn’t understand why my boyfriend only wanted to hold hands.
A few months into our relationship, he told me he was waiting until marriage to have sex. I told him that I didn’t feel the same way, but I respect his beliefs (I’m a virgin, too). At first, it wasn’t a problem. I wanted to have sex, but I certainly wasn’t going to force the issue upon him.
After five months of dating, we started making out. I really enjoyed it and it made me really happy. I couldn’t wait to do it again. One time as we were making out and I was on top of him, he pulled my hips forward and we started grinding (fully clothed). After about a week, he thought we were going too fast. It made me really upset and I cried a lot. We still made out here and there.
Lately, it has been getting really heavy. He takes my top off and plays with my breasts. I really, really enjoy it. I moan and let him know he is pleasing me. A few nights ago, it got really heated. I wanted to take things a step further, so I put my hands on his crotch. He was wearing jeans, and I could feel his erection. He didn’t respond favorably. I cried and I got really upset. He said he’s not ready for sex, and I felt so horrible about trying to pressure him.
I usually initiate the make out sessions, which bothers me a lot. A lot of times when we make out, he has to take a break. I just feel undesired and unwanted. It makes me feel like he’s not attracted to me.
I asked him when he wants to get married, and he said in four or five years. How could anyone go that long without sex? I asked him if he could see himself getting marriage to me, and he said he had to figure things out before marriage (I have no idea what these things are) and we had to figure out school. In less than two years, I’m going to be moving two hours away to attend university for two or three years. I had assumed that he would move in with me, but he said he didn’t believe in living together before marriage.
Another thing is, I always pay we when go out. We both work part time at a grocery store, but I make a little more than he does and I have saved a lot of it. I’ve told him before that it bothers me that he doesn’t make an effort to save money and take me out, or even doing things that are cheap. When we go out, and he expects me to pay every time. When I bring this up, he gets really defensive.
I don’t know what to do. I love him so much, but I can’t keep crying every day and feeling like this.
It took him one month for our first kiss, and that was after I asked him why we hadn’t kissed yet. After that, the only time we would ever kiss is when we were saying goodbye to each other. I asked him a few times if he wanted to make out, but he turned me down. I would get upset with the lack of affection, and I would often talk to him about it and cry about it. I used to cry every day because I felt like he wasn’t attracted to me. I thought something was wrong with me. I couldn’t understand why my boyfriend only wanted to hold hands.
A few months into our relationship, he told me he was waiting until marriage to have sex. I told him that I didn’t feel the same way, but I respect his beliefs (I’m a virgin, too). At first, it wasn’t a problem. I wanted to have sex, but I certainly wasn’t going to force the issue upon him.
After five months of dating, we started making out. I really enjoyed it and it made me really happy. I couldn’t wait to do it again. One time as we were making out and I was on top of him, he pulled my hips forward and we started grinding (fully clothed). After about a week, he thought we were going too fast. It made me really upset and I cried a lot. We still made out here and there.
Lately, it has been getting really heavy. He takes my top off and plays with my breasts. I really, really enjoy it. I moan and let him know he is pleasing me. A few nights ago, it got really heated. I wanted to take things a step further, so I put my hands on his crotch. He was wearing jeans, and I could feel his erection. He didn’t respond favorably. I cried and I got really upset. He said he’s not ready for sex, and I felt so horrible about trying to pressure him.
I usually initiate the make out sessions, which bothers me a lot. A lot of times when we make out, he has to take a break. I just feel undesired and unwanted. It makes me feel like he’s not attracted to me.
I asked him when he wants to get married, and he said in four or five years. How could anyone go that long without sex? I asked him if he could see himself getting marriage to me, and he said he had to figure things out before marriage (I have no idea what these things are) and we had to figure out school. In less than two years, I’m going to be moving two hours away to attend university for two or three years. I had assumed that he would move in with me, but he said he didn’t believe in living together before marriage.
Another thing is, I always pay we when go out. We both work part time at a grocery store, but I make a little more than he does and I have saved a lot of it. I’ve told him before that it bothers me that he doesn’t make an effort to save money and take me out, or even doing things that are cheap. When we go out, and he expects me to pay every time. When I bring this up, he gets really defensive.
I don’t know what to do. I love him so much, but I can’t keep crying every day and feeling like this.