So my girlfriend and I have been dating for years now. She has two amazing girls one 13 now and the other 6. I've been in there lives since before the youngest was born. After 4 years she still won't tell her ex or her kids we are together. They have split custody, so he has them half the week she has them the other half. When the kids are with us I'm not aloud to stay the night unless there is a special reason and then I have to sleep on the couch. The kids and I get along famously, they fully respond to me as a parent respect that when I say something its finally and want me there when they are all the time. Her ex is a huge jerk, when every the kids talk about me to him he gets mad and starts treating them like and just all around jerk behaviour. Its gotten to the point where now when he's coming to pick up the girls I have to leave and go sit in a parking lot somewhere well we wait for him to show up ( punctuality is far from something he's good at ). She says she can't tell him because of financial worries that he'll take half her gov income and the money ill be able to contribute to the house hold full time isn't enough. She also has huge commitment fears that I'm going to end up leaving her because he have an age gap of 8 years, so she says why bother your going to see I'm old one day and runn for the hills. I love this woman and the kids more then I can describe and all I want is just be with her fully and openly. I hate being her dirty little secret and its pushing my limits. Any advice on making her get passed the fear of her ex would be highly appreciated.