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Helpme123
Mar 13, 2007, 06:22 PM
Im 14 years old and I want to live with my friend. Me and my parents don't get along at all and my friends parents agree to all of this. What are the steps that I need to do to make this happen?

They lock me in my house. I'm not allowed to go to school so they homeschool me. I haven't been out side for months! Is there a way I could still be a part of my family but just live with my friend. I can't stand living in my house 24/7. I haven't seen or talked to my friends for a LONNNNNNNNNNNg tiime. I'm just a kid and I want to live a normal kids life and go to school and meet new people. How can I make this work?

They sometimes abuse me but it's my fault and their under a lot of pressure at work.

There really nice to my bro and sis so I don't want 2 get them introuble w/ the law. Is there still no way that I can live w/ my friend with out an excusse?

What are the steps to getting an emanctipation in the state of Washinton if you are 14 years of age??
?

Could I get an emanctipation and then not pay rent for an apartment but inseed live with a friend and come up with some sort of an agreement w/ the parents money wise with food? The family has 2 daughters and one is moving out in 3months to go to collage and the other one is my best friend so I could stay in the empty room in 3 months?

AND

How much money would I need a month to support myself??

What will I have to do to get temp custody to the family. I have been talking to the parents and there up for it. It would be the same as me being there other daughter who moved out. Do you know how I can get the paper for this custody thing. The parents want me to get more info until they make their finall disison so I'm trying to get all the infor I can. Also it would seem easy for me to find a job since I am homeschooled and I do only 2 hours a day on school work and there is a lot of help wanted during the day when other's are @ school.

How much mony would I need a month. I nanny a family 3 times a week and get 10 dollars and hour. I don't go to schol be ut my friends who does is going to talk to one for me.

Well here's my story and then maybe you can give me different options.

My parent are strong moman beleivers. I the religon and they think that just because I don't agree to the religon there is something worng with me. So they pulled me out of school to be home schooled. They took away my social life. I can't talk 2 people out of my religon. If one of myfriends is at the front door I'm not allowed to go out side and say hi. I can't get the mail. If I even leave my room during the night the ask me Questions.I get introble 4 things I don't even do just becaue my parents did it or happened to them when they were my age. I haven't left the house in months unless I'm going to church or going to the car because I have to go evey where my parent go. My parents are always stressed out at work. The both work at home so I see them 24/7. they used to take it out on me but not as much. Now if I talk to someone who my parent believe is not morman or right I get yelled at locked in my room and every once in a while they would hit me and pretened like it never happened.

My friend kara has been my friend for 2 years. I love her like a sister. I know her parents well and they are very gulable. They will do any thing for me. Kara recently told her parent about this and they think it is stupid that I can't talk to her because of my strick rules. They think it is just as bad a being in a prison cell which it is kind of true. My friend and I had the idea of living together. Her sister is moving out to go to collegage in 2 months and her dad just baough a brand new house w/ 3 bedrroms and in 2 months they will only have kara and hopefully me living with them. They are willing to help out but would like more information on a way to gain custdy of me or any other way were I could live with them. I feel confertable with them and I don't right now w/ my parents.

Im and 8th grader and If I do end up living w/ her I would go back to Jr. high. I would still Nannny the family that I have now for a year and will bring in about 150- 200 dollars a week. So I would be able to aford to pay for my own personal needs, so her parents are only paying for a roof over my head.

I am scared of my parents about half of the time and I don't like living here. I'm not like one of those tennagers whoes parents made them break up with their boyfriends so the don't get along. I am a teenager who is going to be living in this prison cell until I am 18, and I swear to god if this does not work out I am getting out the day I trun 18! I should be having fun, I'm a kid.

I don't intend to get my parent introuble w/ the law I just want out... can anyone help me??

So I'm stuck here for 2 more years!! Man these law's r messed up!! :eek:

So I can't even live w/ a friend??

Thanks everyone for your help!:D

Whts that?

Where can I get papers for my parent to sign so I can do this?

Thanks

Oh OK thank you

Thank you

Wow, I'll do that

Because I want a good answer and fast and if you put it out three times worded differently more people would respond and would give me different sugestions.

I want to make the right choice so I don't regret it later. Is that so wrong??

I don't know? U make a point

Any place would be better than living here. But mostly living somewhere else would B safer.

xunsinkablex
Mar 13, 2007, 06:38 PM
Im 14 years old and i want to live with my friend. Me and my parents don't get along at all and my friends parents agree to all of this. what are the steps that i need to do to make this happen?
I really wouldn't recommend living with your friend. It could cause problems between you and her, and may permanently ruin your friendship. You're only 14; you cannot even work at most places. Try to work things out with your parents, unless you're in an abusive situation. If you are, go to your friend's and then seek help from social services.
If abuse isn't the case, give it 6 months and talk to your parents about things. I'm sure not everything is their fault. You need to give a little as do they.
Honestly... you are 14 years old. You can't make your own money, you can't support yourself, you're still in school, etc. Think about how much stress it would put on your friend's parents as well (paying more taxes, putting more food on the table, buying more clothes, so on and so forth).
Your parents would need to be willing to give your friend's parents legal custody of you. If they aren't, and they're not abusing/neglecting you, there's NO WAY a judge will let your friend's parents have legal custody. You can't just go live with her; you need to go through the court system. I'm not of much help here, but if your parents do agree, have your parents contact the district court and ask them what would need to be done to transfer custody to your friend's parents. You'll more than likely need to go to court, explain what's going on, pay fees, fill out a ton of paper work, and a million other things.
What I can tell you is that it'll be a huge hassle for everyone involved. Think about things first.
No teen gets along with their parents perfectly, and to be completely honest with you... most teens generally DON'T get along with their parents. You're changing, the way they control you is changing, your level of freedom is changing, the level of trust they give you is changing; it can cause a lot of stress and disagreement. It's best to just wait it out. It happens to every kid. Don't try and rush into living with your friend.
Good luck either way.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 13, 2007, 06:46 PM
It is not going to happen, we have to learn to deal with our problems, esp at 14 you will always think your parents are having problems

First it is just not going to happen, you would have to have first a good reason to leave ( a legal one) abuse, danger or some problem.
Next you are going to have to have a job and enough money to provide for yourself and prove this to the court, and of course hire an attorney to do all this for you.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 13, 2007, 08:31 PM
If they really abuse you, call the police, or social service. Since there is no excuse for that.

As for as homeschool, that is normally the best form of education, home school children do much better ( over all ) in thie studies, so for that you don't realise but you may be getting the better education.

And millions of normal kids are home schooled now, we home school, and find it works much better

Fr_Chuck
Mar 15, 2007, 12:15 PM
In all reality it is not going to happen.

You will have to have a job, and show the court where you have the income to pay all your bills, and to provide for your care. Since you are 14 you will also have to show the court you are mature enough to take care ofyourself. And you will have to have the money to hire an attorney to start with.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 15, 2007, 12:58 PM
No, the courts will not do that, they want to be able to see that you can care for yourself, if those other people changed their mind, you would merely be on the street, so they are not going to take that risk.

If you are being abused, call social services or children service and see if you can get foster care. Or see if your parents would sign over temp custody to this other family.

But no emancipation is not a easy thing to do or get, for the welfare of the child.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 15, 2007, 12:58 PM
And of course their has to be a reason for the emancipation, abuse, cheating them on the money, endangerment, so legal reason for allow it to happen

ScottGem
Mar 15, 2007, 01:05 PM
Also, your friend's parents could get in trouble for allowing you to live there if your parents press charges.

What you really need to do is talk to a counselor (school guidance counselor, clergyman, etc.) to help mediate the problems you are having with your parents. If these problems are so serious, its possible that children's services could remove you into foster care.

At 14 you can't get enough of a job to support yourself. Child labor laws would prevent it.

shygrneyzs
Mar 15, 2007, 02:13 PM
According to Washington state law, you could not be considered for emancipation until you are 16. At least 16 years old.

Here are the qualifiers in considering a request for emancipation:

1. You are a resident of the state of Washington
2. You can manage your own financial affairs
3. You can manage your own educational, personal, social, and any other affairs; and
4. If your parent, guardian, or custodian opposes your petition, you must also prove that denying emancipation would harm you.

Here is an extensive document called, "Emancipation of Minors in the State of Washington"
http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/documents/1603914901.pdf?stateabbrev=/WA/

Read that. That will answer your questions. Fr. Chuck and Scott have tried to tell you the very same things.

ScottGem
Mar 15, 2007, 03:41 PM
First, no the laws aren't messed up. They are designed to protect you from yourself. As much as you think you can take care of yourself, you can't. You are just too young and inexperienced. Don't bother trying to argue that point because everything you've said proves it.

As strict as your parents may be, they are still responsible for you. What you need to do is learn how to live with it. You need to show your parents that you are more responsible and mature than you've shown us. Maybe if you do that, they will give you more freedom.

But, as noted, you are stuck with this situation for at least 2 more years, probably longer.

ScottGem
Mar 15, 2007, 04:37 PM
so i can't even live w/ a friend????????

Not without your parent's permission. Your friend's parents could be sued for or prosecuted.

ScottGem
Mar 16, 2007, 03:56 AM
Again, you cannot even begin to do this until you are 16. At that point, if you still feel the way you do now, then talk to your local Children's Services agency or Family court.

cutos
Mar 16, 2007, 08:05 AM
First of all you need to tell your parents (without sounding forceful or controlling) sit down and tell your parents that you have your own rights and your sorry you don agree wit their religion but its how you are,tell them your not trying to be mean or anything but give them all the reasons you don't agree wit the religion. Also tell them if they continue to hit you or lock you in your room or yell at uncertain things that you will call the police or social services. Tell them its hard on you and you are just a kid and if they do not listen or hit you then RUN to call the police or social services but watever you do if they start yelling or hitten you Don't yell/hit back... because by the time the police get there they could put you in JUVIE... trust me it happened to my BF. *GOOD LUCK* and tell me how it went :)

millec
Mar 19, 2007, 08:55 AM
If its true that you are being abused then you most definitely need to go to the law. Does your friend's parents know that you are living in an abusive situation? If so they may be able to request to be your guardian or foster parents once you have gone to someone for help to get out of the home. The "law" will remove you from an abusive home, once that is done your friend's parents can ask a judge to grant them temporary custody so that you are given the chance to live with a family that you know rather than being thrown into the foster care system. Someone, at any age, living some where where they don't want to be will only make the situation worse.

Megg
Mar 19, 2007, 03:34 PM
Hey hun, I know what your going through. My dad was abusive mentally and through things at me sometime's. It's not healthy to live in that kind of environment. I was afraid to get the help and look where it got me? Depressed and forever scared. Call your friend's parent's and talk to them about how to get out of that house. Your parent's are playing favorite's and sorry but that is not what a parent should do. If they hit you call 911 and explain the situation. You have a RIGHT no matter what age you are to be happy. To have friend's and to learn. If your parent's woln't let you see friend's or go to school then you really need to call 911 or go to the nearest school in your county. Talk to a conculer and tell them your problem. Trust me, it's better for you to live with people who show you love then with parent's like your's. And your friend is a good friend for wanting to keep you safe. I'm so sorry your paren't aren't good one's. In life were given some pretty crap situations, but all that matter's is how you come out of it.

shygrneyzs
Mar 19, 2007, 07:04 PM
Why do you repeatedly post about the same thing, just word things a little different? Looking for better answers?

Megg
Mar 19, 2007, 07:07 PM
Huh? Lol

shygrneyzs
Mar 19, 2007, 07:09 PM
Not you, Rayne. Not you at all. Helpme123 has posted this at least twice before.

Megg
Mar 19, 2007, 07:10 PM
OK

Megg
Mar 20, 2007, 11:42 AM
No hun it's not

shygrneyzs
Mar 20, 2007, 01:25 PM
But according to the law in Washington, which is where you live, right? You cannot apply to be emancipated until the age of 16. That is the law. You also have to prove to the court that you can take care of yourself. That means not mooching off anyone else. If you are truly being abused, then you would have called 911 on your parents and gotten placed into foster care.

millec
Mar 20, 2007, 01:44 PM
I'm just curious as to what makes you think you friend's parents will be better for you? The reason I ask is because you stated that they agree with you in regards to you being abused but you have not mentioned what steps they have taken to try to get you out of that environment. Who have they called on your behalf? Have they made any phone calls to social services or the police? Are they just sitting back watching you get mistreated? If so, why would you want to leave your parents to go live with someone else's parents that don't care enough about you to try to have you removed from an abusive environment? What makes you think it will be better there? They have already shown you how much they care.

ScottGem
Mar 21, 2007, 10:49 AM
Because I want a good answer and fast and if you put it out three times worded differently more people would respond and would give me different sugestions.

No that's not true. What you do is confuse the issue. You have gotten the same advice. There is a legal issue here. You are too young to apply for emancipation so forget that. If you are truly being abused (and I doubt that) then you contact Family Services and they investigate and place you in foster care if they find your complaints valid.

I'm going to ask that all your threads be combined into one.

Megg
Mar 21, 2007, 10:56 AM
If you are truly being abused (and I doubt that) then you contact Family Services and they investigate and place you in foster care if they find your complaints valid. .


It's quite possible that this person IS being abused or mistreated. To assume otherwise is kind of rude, none of us know the situation. As an abused child I can feel for this person. I didn't know what to do. Just because most kid's hate their parent's or want to have freedom, doesn't mean that we can judge and say that this is that situation. There are many kid's out there being abused, and do most adult's listen? NO. They think the kid's lying. Well I'm listening and I say CALL 911!

ScottGem
Mar 21, 2007, 11:04 AM
It's quite possible that this person IS being abused or mistreated. To assume otherwise is kind of rude, none of us know the situation. As an abused child i can feel for this person. I didn't know what to do. Just b/c most kid's hate their parent's or want to have freedom, doesn't mean that we can judge and say that this is that situation. There are many kid's out there being abused, and do most adult's listen? NO. They think the kid's lying. Well im listening and i say CALL 911!

Ray,

First, because she has asked the same question in different threads you may not have seen all her posts. I have. The threads have now been merged into one so you might want to scan the whole thing. Her parents are being strict, undoubtedly overly so, but I don't believe there is actual abuse. That's probably why she is reluctant to go to Family Services.

This is a 14 year old girl who's parents keep her on a short leash. Of course she's not happy with that, but does that constitute abuse? She has been advised that she should contact Family Services. I'm not telling her not to. But I'm trying to give her some realistic expectations. I'm not discounting that she may be abused but the ONLY answer to that is go to the police or family services agency or school counselor and report it. Which is what she's been advised to do.

I disagree with you that reports of abuse are not taken seriously. If anything, the children's services agencies are erring on the side of caution and investigating any reports. My comments were based on the total of what she has told us and I stand by them.

xunsinkablex
Mar 21, 2007, 12:41 PM
I hope you know that if you are emancipated, you cannot move in with another family. Emancipation is paying for your own house/apartment/etc, and paying for your own needs. 14-year-olds cannot work full-time jobs, and if you're pulling in less than, say, $500 every week, there is no way for you to live on your own. You'd need to pay rent, pay bills, manage your bank account by yourself, get up and go to work every single day for 8(+) hours a day, do your school work, be able to get places (which you can't because you don't have a license and can't get one for awhile), pay for health insurance, a cell phone bill if you have one, so on and so forth. Emancipation means you're not a minor anymore. Trust me, I've done it. I'm 17 now, and I live with a friend. We split the rent and utilities, but I also make car payments, pay car insurance, do my schoolwork (homeschooled), and have a car to get me places. I work full-time, and pay for everything I need. Groceries, medicine, everything my parents previously paid for. It is NOT easy, and I'm telling you right now, you can't get emancipated until you've been living on your own and paying bills and all that for awhile. On your own does NOT mean with your friend's family. The court would require you to bring documents (copies of bills, rent agreements, pay stubs, statement of employment, etc etc) to prove that you are supporting yourself and not receiving money from anyone else and living on your OWN and paying your own bills and managing your bank accounts and everything else. If you're looking to live with your friend, emancipation isn't what you're going for. Emancipation basically means that you're not considered a minor anymore and you have to pay for everything yourself with no help from parents and live by yourself.
If you want to live with your friend, you'd have to prove abuse or another type of unsafe home life. You say your parents "won't let" you go to school; it's been proven that homeschooling is better for kids. They are trying to do what's best for you. Anyway, if you can't prove abuse or another unsafe environment, no judge will give custody of you to your friend's parents UNLESS your parents are willing to turn legal custody over to your friend's parents. If you can't prove abuse/unsafe environment/neglect, give up. You won't get anywhere, and no judge will give custody to your friend's parents just because "you don't like living there". Every kid has problems with their parents; you just need to deal with it until you're 18. Stop doing what makes them angry, and talk to them about how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. Tell them that you want to go to school to interact with other kids, blahblahblah. If they don't let you, TOUGH. They're trying to get you the best education they can. Sorry to be harsh, but the reality is, all kids have problems with parents and you need to just suck it up and deal with it.

xunsinkablex
Mar 21, 2007, 12:43 PM
By the way, you can't work "as a nanny" if you want to get emancipated. You need to be getting LEGALLY paid, with taxes taken out, and filling out tax forms, so on and so forth. Not under-the-table, no taxes taken out, not an actual job kind of paid.

cutos
Mar 22, 2007, 06:18 PM
Lol did ja get all the papers in stuff just checking in on you:) howz it going up there?!

xunsinkablex
Mar 22, 2007, 09:44 PM
lol did ja get all the papers in stuff just checkin in on you:) howz it goin up there?!?

She can't get emancipated anyway. There's no use in her getting papers. She's not going to get what she wants; she should just learn to deal with it (unless she actually is being abused, and people have told her what to do/who to call in that case) like EVERY OTHER KID has to.
Kids are so separated from reality nowadays that they don't know how to deal with things... jesus.

Megg
Mar 23, 2007, 07:52 AM
As an abused child, I know what it feels like, not ALL kids are confident enough to help themselves. Most are worried, scared and have low-self-esstem. You would be too if you were treated like some of kids are. Scar's for life I'll tell you! More kid's are being abused verbally then many know about. In some cases that's far worse then people want to think. I'll have problems for the rest of my life with trust and self-esstem because of it. Some kid's don't know their rights. You need to talk to someone, talking on here isn't going to solve your problem, we've given the advice, now you got to take it. Do it before it's too late. I was too afraid to tell people, I didn't even know if it was bad, I did nothing as I was verbally abused day after day. I did nothing expect cry when my dad through things at me. YOU can do something, so DO it.

xunsinkablex
Mar 23, 2007, 09:39 AM
Okay, then why didn't her friends parents do anything about it? They had to know, because she told them why she wanted to live there. If they don't care enough to tell anyone, WHY would she want to live with them? The OP's argument really doesn't make sense, and I doubt she's actually being abused. No, I do not know for sure, and I'm not saying there's no chance she is. I do doubt it, though. There's other people that would've said something, had they known (AKA: if she was really being abused). Her argument doesn't add up, lol... Read through it and her responses to each question that people have asked her. If you can't see that it does not add up and she's contradicting herself, well... I feel sorry for you.

Helpme123
Mar 26, 2007, 05:17 PM
I am being abused and my parents have agreed to give custady to my friends parents so I have to go to court and stuff like that but hopeful I'll be living there for the beging of 9th grade. Since I did not tell social services on my parents they have agreed to do this and they promised they would get help

Thank every one!

ScottGem
Mar 26, 2007, 06:35 PM
That should tell you something about your parents. I hope you learn from it.

shygrneyzs
Mar 26, 2007, 07:21 PM
What a story! I can hardly believe it. In fact, I don't anymore.

xunsinkablex
Mar 26, 2007, 07:58 PM
What a story! I can hardly believe it. In fact, I don't anymore.

Hahaha. That made my day :D

Helpme123
Mar 26, 2007, 09:08 PM
Dude seriously shygrneyzs whts your problem. The only reason I came on here was to find an answer to my problem, and I did so I don’t need your coments anymore. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so stop making judgement about me and that I am a liar because I’m not. And I did learn a lot from this. That is that no family is perfect.

xunsinkablex
Mar 26, 2007, 09:12 PM
Dude seriously shygrneyzs whts your problem. The only reason I came on here was to find an answer to my problem, and I did so I don’t need ur coments anymore. I don’t know u and u don’t know me so stop making judgement about me and that I am a liar because I’m not. And I did learn a lot from this. That is that no family is perfect.

You've contradicted yourself MANY times. If it is true and you got out of that house, good for you. Honestly. But people are allowed to think that you're a liar if they want to. It certainly doesn't seem believable to me, and apparently not to shygrneyzs, either. Don't make such a deal out of it, it's only a message board.

ScottGem
Mar 27, 2007, 05:16 AM
And I did learn a lot from this. That is that no family is perfect.

Obviously, you didn't learn enough. If what you have told us is true that your parents have agreed to let you live with your friends family, then that show me that your parents care very deeply about you. So deeply that they are willing to give you up for a time in order to keep you. And if you can't see that or understand it, you are as self centered and selfish as you appear to be.