Hi,

My partners Mother and Step dad have threatened to take us to court over our refusal to allow them to see our 18 month old. It's a long story so I won't go into it.

I just wanted to know what rights paternal grandparents have over their grandchildren?

Will a court grant them rights to have contact with our child against our wishes?
Under what circumstances will the court grant access or refuse to grant access?
If a court were to grant them access, would the court only grant access to my partners mother as she is his blood relation, her husband is not my child's blood granddad. Would he be refused access because he is not actually a grandparent?
Can they get Legal aid to go to court for this matter?

Would be so grateful for any answers as this situation is stressing us out so much and is putting a massive strain on our relationship

Thank you in advance

THe UK doesn't have any laws allowing grandparent rights. If they try to go to court, they will have to prove that they have an established bond with the child and withholding it will not be in the best interests of the child. Doesn't sound like they can do that.

Is this a partner or a husband? I note that you have asked about the dangers of having the child in the presence of the "(step)father in law" in the past.

If the step father has scarred your partner/husband and you are concerned about your child, of course you shouldn't allow him to be in the child's presence and you have a defense to any Court action the step/father-in-law may take.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/should-let-bullying-father-law-see-son-663202.html

Is the step/father in law aware that you are/were a "cutter?" He could use that as an argument if he were to claim you are somehow unfit. However, this appears to be about visitation, not about custody.

This visitation/no visitation concern is putting a strain on your relationship? You don't want the step/father-in-law to see the child but your partner/husband does? Is he the same person who was mistreated by the step/father-in-law?

Would you allow your mother-in-law to visit with the child in your presence but without the step/father-in-law? That might be a solution everyone can live with.

They used to see him often up until he was 11 and a half months, they have only seen him once in 7 months and that was only for half an hour in a local café. They don't have overnight visits or daytime outings or anything like that. Not sure if that would count as an established bond.
They are insisting that they have legal rights to contact with my son, but I don't think they have been to a solicitor yet as we haven't had any legal letters

Is this a partner or a husband? I note that you have asked about the dangers of having the child in the presence of the "(step)father in law" in the past.

If the step father has scarred your partner/husband and you are concerned about your child, of course you shouldn't allow him to be in the child's presence and you have a defense to any Court action the step/father-in-law may take.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/should-let-bullying-father-law-see-son-663202.html

Is the step/father in law aware that you are/were a "cutter?" He could use that as an argument if he were to claim you are somehow unfit. However, this appears to be about visitation, not about custody.

This visitation/no visitation concern is putting a strain on your relationship? You don't want the step/father-in-law to see the child but your partner/husband does? Is he the same person who was mistreated by the step/father-in-law?

Would you allow your mother-in-law to visit with the child in your presence but without the step/father-in-law? That might be a solution everyone can live with.

It is my son's nan's husband, he is my partners step dad if that makes sense.
The husband is not aware of my cutting past, which has no longer been a problem for many years.
My partner is agreeing with me about his mothers husband not having contact with our child due to his potentially harmful behaviour - he mentally abuses people.
I am not comfortable with my mother in law seeing our child as she has made the situation very hostile by being very manipulative, we are currently trying to sort it out via letters explaining our feelings but it does not seem like a solution is going to be reached despite my best efforts. I have concerns over her suitability to see our child due to several factors, her manipulative behaviour and constant neediness, she's on a heck of a lot of medication for ongoing medical problems which make her often black out or wobbly on her feet and she had initially refused to see our son because I initially restricted her husband from seeing our son. She had told me that if her husband was not allowed to see our son then she wouldn't either.
It is a complex situation, but it is very hostile. The time we met up with them for half an hour was awfully hostile and tense and I don't think that it is a suitable environment for our son to be in as he can pick up on it

Before grandparents can be granted rights to visit, they have to apply to the court for a contact order. Again that measn proving a bond. Usually a grandparent contact order occurs when there is a breakup between the parents. Grandparents rights (http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Articles/Children/Grandparents-rights.aspx)

I really see very little chance of a court overriding the choice of both parents.

I absolutely agree with what Scott has said. You explained the situation very well. If your mother's instincts say that visits are not a good idea, I'd go with that.

Lots and lots of people threaten lots and lots of things. Very few follow through AND if the "grandparents" do hire a solicitor and go forward if you explain yourself in Court the way you've explained things here they don't stand a chance - just my opinion.

Good luck.