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View Full Version : What should I do with my best friend?


simii12345
Dec 22, 2012, 05:39 AM
Hi, I recently had an argument with my best friend and now she is really mad at me and she acts like she doesn't know me and she even deleted me from her Facebook. I do not know how to solve the problem, because I really like her as a friend but I'm not going to apologise first to her. We have been friends for 6 years and a little disagreement ruined it in one second. We were planning where to celebrate New Years Eve with some other friends, and they were all the time joking and didn't find a place. So I went mad and told her that I wasn't going to celebrate with them and invited her to celebrate with me and some friends from the class. Then she started to insult me that I was pretending to be the smartest of them all because I didn't want to celebrate with them. I told her my arguments why I didn't want to, and she was sarcastic and ironic all the time and told me not to bother her. The next day I saw her at the bus stop and she even didn't say Hello to me and while I was in the bus I got a message from her:, Never call me again ;)" and I replied:,,OK". The next day when I was at fb I saw that she deleted me from her Facebook. So can anyone help me what should I do ? I do not want to lose her but I'm really mad how could this little argument ruined our friendship and I think that it isn't my fault and I shouldn't apologise to her .

joypulv
Dec 22, 2012, 06:22 AM
You started it by being snotty to all the other friends! Apologize. For pity's sake, what a lot of grief over nothing. How old are you?

It might be too late of course. Send her a card and a gift or some flowers or bake some cookies, and write a long, handwritten apology. It's called taking the high road.

veigadis
Dec 22, 2012, 06:45 AM
Hi, I know what you are going trough it is not fun to be in this situacion but I think that if you really want to be friend with her again you got to show it :)
So don't send her a message and don't talk to her over the phone. Go to her home and talk to and say that you are sorry and you want to be friends with her again and say that you are sorry that you acted this way. I am telling you she will say it is OK :) I mean for reals how old are you guys? You can't let this little thing ruin 6 years of friendship! :)

simii12345
Dec 22, 2012, 07:01 AM
Well I don't think I was snotty because I think if there isn't a compromis in a friendship then it isn't a real friendship. Why should I apologise for? Because I didn't like to celebrate with 20 years old people, that's my opinion my taste and she started to insult me and I didn't insult her at all !

joypulv
Dec 22, 2012, 08:46 AM
OK, I'll rephrase. You got mad at all the joking and lack of decision, and tried to get her to ditch all of them. She chose not to. She chose all of them over you. Maybe you weren't her best friend after all. The burden is on you to apologize if you want her back. You seem to think there's some judge-in-the-sky (or online judges, or even friends) who will come down with a ruling that she has to comply with - she doesn't. The next move is yours.

simii12345
Dec 22, 2012, 09:22 AM
OK, I'll rephrase. You got mad at all the joking and lack of decision, and tried to get her to ditch all of them. She chose not to. She chose all of them over you. Maybe you weren't her best friend after all. The burden is on you to apologize if you want her back. You seem to think there's some judge-in-the-sky (or online judges, or even friends) who will come down with a ruling that she has to comply with - she doesn't. The next move is yours.

Never mind.. I can't express myself well in English because I do not know it well. If u could speak my language I would easily explain what I want to say. And it isn't about the joking I went mad but I do not know how to say it english . Forget about it

joypulv
Dec 22, 2012, 09:33 AM
I couldn't even tell that English isn't your first language.
Tell us in your language and we will run it through Google.

simii12345
Dec 22, 2012, 11:49 AM
I couldn't even tell that English isn't your first language.
Tell us in your language and we will run it through google.

It isn't important anymore.. Look I called her half an hour ago and I said if she could tell why she isn't talking to me and she laughed and said that she wrote me on fb. I opened messages and she said:, I don't have time to talk with you, I have to study and between me and u everything it's over" and I wrote her:,, but I do not understand the reason, is it because of the argument about new year?" and she replied " no, how do u not understand, it is simply over, bye " so that's the end I've done my best and I'm not begging her anymore :) thanks for the help

joypulv
Dec 22, 2012, 12:26 PM
OK that's sad... losing a friend that way...

simii12345
Dec 22, 2012, 12:33 PM
OK that's sad... losing a friend that way...

Well I'm stupid, I should have learnt that true friendship doesn't exist and from now on I don't believe in the word friendship because this is the third time I'm left without explanion, they've hurt me a lot and I promised myself never again to be so close with someone, because I'm over emotional. Thanks again..

joypulv
Dec 22, 2012, 12:52 PM
I disagree. I'm 66 and have friends I've had since childhood, college, and beyond.
Sometimes you do have to swallow your pride even with the best of friends though.
You called her but expected answers. It was pretty clear that you are past that stage, and that if you want her back, you have to just plain say you're sorry, regardless.
But I'm just repeating myself and you've made it clear that you don't want to.
You can lose friend after friend and chalk it up to 'true friendship doesn't exist' if you want.
Or you can soften sometimes, because we all have to, or we have no one.

talaniman
Dec 22, 2012, 02:51 PM
People come and go through out our lives and good friends can become bad ones sometimes. You will meet many, so be fair and give them the same chance you want them to give you. Maybe its not enough, but don't be surprised when its NOT. Just keep living your life with many friends and not just one.

And don't be bitter.