View Full Version : How can I be a good middle school girlfriend?
AnonymousNayNay
Dec 21, 2012, 11:19 AM
• I have known him for five months, we met through school.
• He is exactly 29 days younger than me and at least four or five inches shorter, but I don't mind.
• He is not one of those clone middle school guys. He is unique and totally different, like me.
• We listen to the same music, which is not mainstream shiz, actually.
• He makes me feel good about myself and about our realationship.
• I have never kissed him.
• He is not actually the most hot guy, but he is an artistic, unique, perfect person with probably the best and weirdest fashion sense.
• Yesterday, we where being retarded and I was hugging this gangly little tree, an he was too. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, so I pulled back, still holding the tree with little t-Rex arms, and ten I felt his arms around me and I hugged him back. Some kid grabbed my hat so I pulled away to chase him, but I felt overwhelmed with emotion.
• When he is talking or hanging out with other girls, I don't get jealous because I trust him.
• I've met his parents and they really like me.
• He's met my parents and they really like him.
• I have his email, Skype and number and he has mine.
• We are the most simaler people I know, and agree 90% of the time.
• We both have te same indigo-grey auras. (I know, I an see things like that)
• He island I are both "old-soul" mature, but not rushingt to be adults.
How can I be a good middle school girlfriend?
smoothy
Dec 21, 2012, 11:29 AM
Focus on your school work and studies... nothing else you are doing now will matter in a few years... and certainly HE isn't going to matter...
Its easy to get distracted by things you shouldn't be worrying about from the important things you should be worrying about.
You have plenty of time for this when you are older.
AnonymousNayNay
Dec 21, 2012, 11:31 AM
Focus on your school work and studies....nothing else you are doing now will matter in a few years...and certainly HE isn't going to matter....
Its easy to get distracted by things you shouldn't be worrying about from the important things you should be worrying about.
You have plenty of time for this when you are older.
He is. Read my new questions, this one is unfinished, but really, this is real!
smoothy
Dec 21, 2012, 11:33 AM
He is. Read my new questions, this one is unfinished, but really, this is real!
He's not... you are in middle school.. you aren't mature enough to be messing around yet... 16 year olds aren't either.
And no its not real... you can't possibly make that determination when most 20 year olds haven't gotten the life experience and maturity to decide that.
First crushes are never real... and when you get older you will see how wrong you always were at that younger age.
Its not just you... but that is true for EVERYONE.
AnonymousNayNay
Dec 21, 2012, 11:34 AM
He's not...you are in middle school..you aren't mature enough to be messing around yet....16 year olds aren't either.
And no its not real...you can't possible make that determination when most 20 year olds haven't gotten the life experience and maturity to decide that.
You aren't helping answer the question. Just read the new one.
ScottGem
Dec 21, 2012, 11:40 AM
The first question here is do your parents permit you to have a boyfriend.
I agree with smoothy, it is really immaterial how you fell because you are too young to process the feelings. But unless both sets of parents approve then you shouldn't be thinking in those terms.
smoothy
Dec 21, 2012, 11:40 AM
You aren't helping answer the question. Just read the new one.
I requested that one be deleted or merged with this one because you are allowed only ONE thread per question here.
I AM helping... you aren't going the get the answer you want to hear.. you are going to get the answer you NEED to hear.. and they are very different.
I have the advantage of something you don't have yet... years of experience.
And if you expect someone to completely agree with you.. its not going to happen. Do what you want and you are going to find yourself a single mother by 14, a high scool dropout and no future... working minimum wage jobs trying to have enough to make it to the next payday.
This is exactly how it starts and I've seen exactly that happen to many girls your age. And even one is too many. I grew up with them.. I knew them from kindergarten and saw how it started.. and how it ended for all of them...
You shouldn't even be thinking of this until late in high school.
AnonymousNayNay
Dec 21, 2012, 11:49 AM
I requested that one be deleted or merged with this one because you are allowed only ONE thread per question here.
I AM helping...you aren't going the get the answer you want to hear..you are going to get the answer you NEED to hear..and they are very differnt.
I have the advantage of something you don't have yet....years of experience.
And if you expect someone to completely agree with you..its not going to happen. Do what you want and you are going to find yourself a single mother by 14, a high scool dropout and no future....working minimum wage jobs trying to have enough to make it to the next payday.
This is exactly how it starts and I've seen exactly that happen to many girls your age. And even one is too many.
Wow, okay.
This one I accidentally posted, and now I just lost everything I typed. Thanks for helping. Anyway, I am trying not to come off as ignorant and childish, but, well...
First of all, I don't plan on doing anything with him. I just want him to be someone I can trust and lean in and I really care about him and he rally cares about me. I work hard in school and am a good student (he's better) and he isn't my first crush. I know what infatuation feels like. I really understand him, and I really care about him. I am myself around him. I am happy.
My mom is trying to commit suicide. I've told him everything, because I can confide in him. He will understand. I love him like a brother, he's a beautiful friend, and I feel connected to him is a crazy, strong way.
So if you want to help, of you, this stranger who I'm telling everything, want to answer this question, take this in mind as well. Stop assuming things. This isn't normal. This is weird, but that's how I like things.
smoothy
Dec 21, 2012, 12:01 PM
Wow, okay.
This one I accidentally posted, and now I just lost everything I typed. Thanks for helping. Anyways, I am trying not to come off as ignorant and childish, but, well...
First of all, I don't plan on doing anything with him. I just want him to be someone I can trust and lean in and I really care about him and he rally cares about me. I work hard in school and am a good student (he's better) and he isn't my first crush. I know what infatuation feels like. I really understand him, and I really care about him. I am myself around him. I am happy.
My mom is trying to commit suicide. I've told him everything, because I can confide in him. He will understand. I love him like a brother, he's a beautiful friend, and I feel connected to him is a crazy, strong way.
So if you want to help, of you, this stranger who I'm telling everything, want to answer this question, take this in mind as well. Stop assuming things. This isn't normal. This is weird, but that's how I like things.
You have ot understand.. that is how it always starts... you did say Middleschool GIRLfriend.. not Middleschool friend. There is a HUGE difference between those two.
Your first few relationships are ALWAYS like that.. its from hormones and lack of experience that is what allows things to get out of control too fast. Some people learn it faster than others...
And nobody is born mature enough to know this and how to control it. You have to be smart enough to listen to those who have been through this stage of life. And if you are lucky and you have taken advice.. you get through it before something happens and your life is forever ruined. Yes... that can happen faster than you can put on your socks.
And really, you might not believe it... but everyone deals with this when they are young... Pretending bad things never happen and can't happen will only get you into trouble.
If you are old enough to be thinking you can have a boyfriend.. you are old enough to know what can and might go wrong.
Most of those are really for your parents to explain to you... and trust me... none of the kids you go to school with know the right answers either... they only think they do.
And like I said... this isn't as weird as you think.. and it IS far more normal than you think. It's a very difficult thing to learn.. and it's a very dangerous time as a result. Our bodies mature faster than our minds ability to deal with it. Like I said.. we all go through this... you aren't the first and you won't be the last.
Seriously.. talk to your mother... she was once your age and she remembers it very well... and trust me she does understand.
ScottGem
Dec 21, 2012, 12:01 PM
You aren't coming off as ignorant or childish, just the opposite. But you need to understand that, at your age, having a friend is one thing, classifying a friend as boyfriend/girlfriend brings a whole lot of complexity to it.
AnonymousNayNay
Dec 21, 2012, 12:20 PM
You have ot understand..that is how it always starts....you did say Middleschool GIRLfriend..not Middleschool friend. There is a HUGE difference between those two.
Your first few relationships are ALWAYS like that..its from hormones and lack of experience that is what allows things to get out of control too fast. Some people learn it faster than others...
And nobody is born mature enough to know this and how to control it. You have to be smart enough to listen to those who have been through this stage of life. And if you are lucky and you have taken advice..you get through it before something happens and your life is forever ruined. Yes...that can happen faster than you can put on your socks.
And really, you might not believe it...but everyone deals with this when they are young... Pretending bad things never happen and can't happen will only get you into trouble.
If you are old enough to be thinking you can have a boyfriend..you are old enough to know what can and might go wrong.
Most of those are really for your parents to explain to you....and trust me...none of the kids you go to school with know the right answers either...they only think they do.
And like I said....this isn't as weird as you think..and it IS far more normal than you think. Its a very difficult thing to learn..and its a very dangerous time as a result. Our bodies mature faster than our minds ability to deal with it. Like I said..we all go through this...you aren't the first and you won't be the last.
Seriously..talk to your mother...she was once your age and she remembers it very well....and trust me she does understand.
Can't your boyfriend be your friend as well? Yes, we are officially going out.
My dad is bipolar and lives in his girlfriends minivan. He's obviously sick and doesn't give two bleeps about me. My mon is trying to commit suicide right now, but she knows we re going out. She has told me she wishes for a good relationship like I seem to have.
So is what if I rephrased the question. What if this didn't imply to me at all. What if there was no description, just: Is it possible to be in love in middle school?
You aren't coming off as ignorant or childish, just the opposite. But you need to understand that, at your age, having a friend is one thing, classifying a friend as boyfriend/girlfriend brings a whole lot of complexity to it.
He asked me out, and yes, I understand how complex this is, but really, as a brother, as a friend, and as a boyfriend, he is all I need.
smoothy
Dec 21, 2012, 12:47 PM
Can't your boyfriend be your friend as well? Yes, we are officially going out.
My dad is bipolar and lives in his girlfriends minivan. He's obviously sick and doesn't give two bleeps about me. My mon is trying to commit suicide right now, but she knows we re going out. She has told me she wishes for a good relationship like I seem to have.
So is what if I rephrased the question. What if this didn't imply to me at all. What if there was no description, just: Is it possible to be in love in middle school?
No.. friend and boyfriend are different things... they mean different things... very different things.
Listen, this applies equally to everyone in your age group... and actually even MORE in your case... if you try to substitute what you don't have at home onto this boy you are MORE likely to find yourself a teenage mother with no future and no education.
You are at an even greater risk than most kids and you have to make MORE of an effort to resist what you feel comes naturally because that is how you find yourself in trouble... it always starts innocent like this... then you want more, and more and next thing you find yourself pregnant.and your future is ruined from that point. Because getting an education takes so much of your time... time you WON'T have when that happens... you will then never get a decent much less good job because they ALL require an GOOD education... without a high school diploma you will be lucky to get most jobs.
The really good ones would need a College degree... and you won't have time if you have a kid at home.
Like I said... I've seen that happen to too many girls... and even some that had the advantage of two parents that were there for her... both in aphysical presence and emotionally.
And this is even more difficult because you won't be able to see this in the same way we do... you care about here and now... even a few years seems like forever to you... when its really nothing at all... My newest car I bought 7 years ago... the one I've had the longest I bought in 1997. I'm guessing you were born around that timeframe. I remember the man I bought it from... I remember the other vehicles I looked at that day... I remember driving it home even though I was never there since that time...
A few years is really nothing, its all about perspective... And perspective has a way of changing over time... what you think you see now as so important... in a few years will seem funny to you... all of us that are older than you have done this before... you have the benefit of hearing from someone who does know what its like that has no desire to give you wrong or bad advice.
mgall3
Dec 21, 2012, 07:15 PM
I know exactly how you feel.talk to him. Tell him you like him or go to the mall pr somewhere with one other person. I guarantee if you have that much in common than he likes you back. He is probably too shy to actually tell you so put on your big girl pannies and tell him how you feel that's how I got my boyfriend
teacherjenn4
Dec 21, 2012, 08:20 PM
How are your grades?
Enigma1999
Dec 22, 2012, 02:08 PM
How are your grades?
Bravo!
talaniman
Dec 22, 2012, 02:28 PM
At this point in your young lives just enjoy the sharing and caring. Sorry about your parents but be careful. Its just so easy to make another person your whole life and at your age, that could hurt you after a while if he doesn't meet a standard, or have things happen in his own young life that takes away from his attention and fun with you.
I am glad you have a friend, given the way you talk about your parents, but as I say don't expect him to be the one forever, and the friendship will never change, because it always does.