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View Full Version : Girlfriends sister... in a conundrum... looking for answers!!


anjelius
Dec 21, 2012, 01:01 AM
Ok, so.. to give you a brief bit of history. I am over 40, my girlfriend, is in her early 30's. We have been together for over a year, and are VERY happy. I am just getting out of a very long relationship that ended badly, just as she is. Neither of us were really looking for anything when we met in all honesty. Fast-forward 1 + year. We are living together, she has a 3yr old, I have a 19 and 12 yr old. 1is in college, the other resides with their mother. Now, things are going somewhat decent. The only issue is, my gf's sister and I, over the past year, through some fault of my own, ended up getting a little closer than I planned. My girlfriend, KNOWING how her sister is (shes in her late 20's by the way, married, 2 kids, stay at home mom) asked me twice to kind of back off when it came to talking to her. Well, I finally did, albeit it, a little to late. When I finally heeded her advice, there was a BIG blow up, she ended up talking to my girlfriend, HER sister about it, even went so far to tell her it "felt like I dumped her". I nearly keeled over on that one. I had no idea what to say, aside... "Sorry baby, you were completely right...I should of totally listened to you on this one". So, now... her sister seems to go out of her way when it comes to being an insensitive . Telling my girlfriend, she still thinks of her as being married to her ex, (she let her daughter make a Christmas card w/their 3 names on it, not even bothering to correct her), we're flying south to see my girls and... well, my girlfriend unfortunately won't be able to see her daughter this year for Christmas due to the separation agreement hence she's coming with, as I abhor the thought of us being apart for one, and her spending Christmas alone secondly =( . Her sister is already calling her, yammering on and on about how awesome her Christmas is going to be, b'c she is going to have her whole family with her for the next 2 weeks while she's on "vacation"... Vacation?? She doesn't even WORK!! Seriousldy at my wit's end here, nfc what steps to take here... I sent an apology a couple of weeks ago for the whole mishap of prior events... you know, thinking that maybe, THAT would smooth things over somewhat... Not. Seeing as she won't even admit to herself what's really going in her psycho head?. no friggin way.

Like I said, I'm at a loss, looking for some serious help.

Homegirl 50
Dec 21, 2012, 05:26 AM
I don't understand. You're apologizing to your girlfriend's sister? What did you do to her?

J_9
Dec 21, 2012, 07:23 AM
Your girlfriend's sister is a stay at home mom and she doesn't work? Really? Do you know how hard that really is?

joypulv
Dec 21, 2012, 07:35 AM
Some of this makes no sense to me. You and your girlfriend are going to see your kids. What the heck does the sister have to do with your Christmas? Who cares what she calls a vacation or not? You got in deep despite all warnings, and deflecting blame because she's wacko about being dumped or not working doesn't fly.

Many of your references to pronouns like she and her have no antecedent. I have no idea whether you are talking about your girlfriend, her sister, or someone's daughter. Please try to clear up the whole second part.

I'm not sure what you want here. Maybe your apologies to your girlfriend aren't sincere enough or are full of buts. You are going to have to be intensely sorry for a very long time I think, sorry. When you apologize to someone for screwing around, you don't say it's only partly your fault. You leave all that out of it. And if you are stuck with her sister's insensitivity after being dumped, so be it. Your girlfriend may have a stronger bond with her than with you. Take your lumps.