I recently got married and within 3 months of the marriage my stepdaughter and her 3 year old child was evicted from her apartment. My husband and I agreed for her to come live with us until January. Well since then she has come in and doesn't clean up after herself or her child. My guest bathroom is a disaster, the bedroom is a disaster. She doesn't mop or clean up when her daughter drops food in the kitchen. I have told her over and over again to clean up after herself and she will do it for one day and the next day she is back to the same stuff. I am really getting aggravated because there is a certain way that I like my home.. My husband is her step dad because he used to be married to her mom but she is very disrespectful to the both of them He ask her to clean and she has this attitude and by the way she is 24 years old.Any advice how to deal with her

Pretend she is your child and about three years old. You want to teach her how to keep house (maybe no one has ever done this with her?). Talk with her to select a day when the two of you can work together to do some serious cleaning and show her step-by-step how you do it. Don't overwhelm her with details and chores/tasks; work into it gradually just as you would your child. During the rest of the week, engage her and even her child to help pick up and put things away.

Is that worth a try? Can you be nice and agreeable as you gently teach? Even break out in singing or do some storytelling as you two clean. Be creative and inventive and make it fun.

You and dad had better get on the same page to stop this disrespect, and not allow bad behavior. Or she has to go. 10 more days until January.

Both of you need to stand strong against this or it will continue. She needs to be sat down with both of you and needs to have this explained to her... that she is living in YOUR house, not hers. YOU took her in because she was in a bad spot. SHE is taking advantage of you and the situation. If she can't handle her end of it, it needs to be explained to her that she can, and will be looking for another place to live.

Stick with your January eviction date and let her make a mess in her own home. Don't let her move back in.

Yes, start proper legal proceedings to start an eviction, or you will still be posting this in June

When it comes to Step-Daughters; I have but one who happens to be a lovely young married woman; although her ‘present’ house keeping skills are untidy to put it politely... When they visit us, our guest bedroom etc is mayhem! No doubt, it’s a lot more aggravating where you are! Yet, I say to myself this is only temporary as my priority is on the time we have together. In this scenario, I’d rather avoid conflict and step back. My sense of order and sanity can tolerate the disruption to harmony for this period.

Here I would like to ask; what is your priority or goal whilst having your Step-Daughter and Grand-child live ‘temporarily’ under your roof? Is it to give Martha Stewart house keeping tips, Dr. Phil’s single parent solutions etc. to her or too receive respect where it’s due with congeniality? The later will fall on deaf ears as I suspect she has a chip on her shoulder that goes deeper than you and her Step-Dad.

Aside from that, as per Wondergirl, I too would engage her for those similar reasons; maybe nobody showed her or gave her proper example/guidance, and if she retaliates with neglect/disrespect… Just remember this is only temporary! As these nagging conflicts cannot be rectified overnight let alone her results match your standards; the certain way you like your home.

Meanwhile, given that January has 31 days or on the stroke of midnight she leaves… It is the Holidays and for that reason I would suspect that you want the household to be in good cheer? So for now, just remember; your sanity will return…