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rvbernier
Dec 17, 2012, 07:49 PM
I’m a senior in high school, and I’ve never had a boyfriend, and the last time I was asked out was in 6th grade. (Moving on with the sob story)
There is this senior guy in my class that I’m interested in.
Now, this wasn’t a “love at first sight” thing. In fact, I didn’t even notice him at first. The class we’re in isn’t exactly an “Honors” class, if you know what I mean, so I was kind of uncomfortable and just trying not to draw unwanted attention to myself.
But then, after a couple of weeks, he told me that my make-up was pretty one day. I was completely caught off guard, so I kind of just mumbled a thanks. I barely get complimented by people, and I’d never even heard of guys saying that to girls, let alone to me. So this really surprised me. So I started paying more attention to him.
I noticed that he would often turn around to look at me. I sat behind him and in another row, so I could see him out of the corner of my eye easily and he couldn’t tell I could see him. I wasn’t really sure what to do, since I have no experience in this.
After a while I tried looking into his eyes then shyly looking away. You know, let him know I’m interested. He compliments me every once in a while, and I even asked him to join me in this choir thing (not really a date, since he comes up to sing with me, but a huge step for me (he said yes btw)) And it went great. He came and he was dressed all nice (my friends approved and said he was one of the best dressed there and that he looked awesome!) And he talked to my parents and my mom liked him, said he had an awesome smile, which he does. He hugged me at the end of the night, and not just a catch and release hug, there was a small squeeze in there. So yeah, that was nice. :)
But here’s my problem. He does these things, and then once I notice him, it’s almost as if he is ignoring me. I moved up a seat when someone left our class, so I’m next to him, so it’s harder to tell if he’s looking at me. But I think he does sometimes.
But still, I don’t know what’s up now. I’m kind of confused.
Yet every time I think I’ve lost him, he does or says something to rekindle my hope.
So, does he like me? Or is it all in my head?
And if he does, what should I do?
Btw, he’s a football player and he’s taller than me (I like tall) Don’t know why I provided that, but maybe it would help determine if it’s just normal jock behavior or if he’s actually interested in me.
And again, I have no experience, and I’m really shy, and often times when I talk to him my words come out a little flustered. I get my message out, I just get embarrassed and blush a lot. But anyway, I’m shy and have no experience, so how do I get let him know I’m interested in him?
Oh, and I have started talking to him a bit. Very recently I started saying “Hi” everyday, and asking how his day was. It’s an improvement, but it doesn’t make much conversation. But still, it’s talking. I always try and think of something to talk about, since I’m afraid of having awkward silence, so if anyone has any suggestions on easy topics that keep going, I would gladly take them.

Homegirl 50
Dec 17, 2012, 08:56 PM
It sounds like me may like you. Get to know him better by speaking to him. Maybe ask him what his favorite movie is, or what he's doing over Christmas break, anything to start a conversation.

dontknownuthin
Dec 17, 2012, 08:56 PM
Well, you could just continue to encourage him - smile at him, initiate conversation. Or you could come up with something else to invite him to and see how that goes. If you don't want to invite him on a one on one date, maybe you could invite him out with you and your friends. He might be doing the attentive/ignoring thing because he's not clear if you like him.

And since you're in high school, you can also use the network of friends - have a friend find out if he likes you. Personally though, I preffer a more direct and personal approachc.

rvbernier
Dec 17, 2012, 09:00 PM
I have told a few people who know him that I like him, so I'm kind of hoping it will get back to him, but I don't know if that's happening. I'm too shy and scared to tell him straight out. I'm kind of afraid of rejection, even though he's a super nice guy. I really hope that he'll ask me to something, but I don't know. I won't be seeing him for much longer, which I'm dreading, but I will try and take your advice and keep doing what I'm doing.

dontknownuthin
Dec 17, 2012, 11:09 PM
Well, you don't have to profess your feelings - just invite him somewhere. Like have friends over to make pizzas or something and ask if he'd like to come. Or plan to go to a movie with a few people on a Friday evening and ask if he'd like to go. Maybe if you break the ice (someone has to if you're both shy) he'll do the asking next time.

momentummm
Dec 17, 2012, 11:27 PM
You're basing too much of this off what you think is the ideal boy, or ideal relationship, or the ideal crush. Just calm down and be you! The person you were when you weren't trying is the person he first noticed, so just be you!

I'm a guy, only a couple years out of high school. Trust me, the things you said he did show that he's got some interest in you. Be honest with him, and be forward. Ask him to get coffee after school (or whatever you do) next time there's a big assignment so you guys "can work on it together" that will lead to you exchanging numbers... and well... the rest is in your hands. Just do you! Good luck!

dontknownuthin
Dec 19, 2012, 10:17 AM
That's great advice, momentummm - I'm old enough to be this young lady's mother so have dated for a while! I've found that the most significant, rewarding relationships I had over the years began when I wasn't trying to impress anyone or worrying about what they thought of me. One of the best relationships I ever had began when I was having breakfast in a coffee shop on vacation with my sister and we were both laughing. We looked like hell - had just rolled out of bed and into our clothes from the day before, no makeup, hair not done. The guy noticed that I was funny and liked my laugh. He loved that I was willing to go in public without spending an hour getting ready first. I met another college boyfriend when I stopped in a pub with two of my roomates on a Saturday afternoon. We had been caught in a storm and were soaked. The bartender had an apartment upstairs and brought towels, which we proceeded to wear on our heads while we played pool. Again, some really great guys thought we were hilarious and loved that we stayed out and had fun instead of running home to perfect our outfits. I'm not suggesting that you do these things, just saying that I was very much myself at these times because, while I do make an effort with my appearance and so on, I don't take myself all that seriously and it is very much my nature to make the best of situations and laugh rather than getting upset that my hair got messed up. My confidence is not a constant and it isn't for most people. When I'm with my friends though, I am so relaxed and at ease, I am confident. When I am trying to make a certain impression - that's when I start getting nervous and making a bad impression!

This guy likes who you are and he doesn't want you to be something different. You're both shy so someone has to take the initiative, so you need to invite him to do something. Once he gets the message that you like him enough to invite him, he'll feel more comfortable taking the next step.

Just don't think you need to come up with a big game or start dressing differently or anything - he likes who you are, so stay who you are.

rvbernier
Dec 19, 2012, 01:17 PM
I'm definitely not changing myself. I'm dressing a bit nicer most of the time, but I do wear a hoodie sometimes, but I always have make-up on, cause that's what he complimented me on.
My real problem is that my window of opportunity is closing. I won't have a class with him after January, and we have christmas break in between those few weeks left. And I'll be visiting family far away so I won't see him over break. So yeah, not much time left.
I really need some topics that we can talk about. I want to talk to him more often, I just don't know what to talk about. And I don't want to end conversations awkwardly. I really need some easy topics to talk about that keep going. If you have any ideas, let me know. I could really use those.
I really hope this works out, and I appreciate all the advice. This would all be so simple if I wasn't so afraid of rejection! But alas, I am only human.
Thanks for the help! I hope you'll have some awesome ideas for conversations!

Homegirl 50
Dec 19, 2012, 01:29 PM
Ask him what he will be doing over Christmas break, let the converstion go from there.

rvbernier
Dec 19, 2012, 01:36 PM
I actually just did that today. It went well, I told him where I was going, which is somewhere like 40 degree colder than where we currently are, so we had a good laugh. That was good, but yeah, I've already used that already.
But thanks for the suggestion! I would love to hear some more!

Homegirl 50
Dec 19, 2012, 02:02 PM
You can exchange phone numbers if you haven't already and then say you can text and send pictures of your break.

rvbernier
Dec 19, 2012, 02:06 PM
You can exchange phone numbers if you havent already and then say you can text and send pictures of your break.
I have his number, but again, I have no experience, so I only text him when I need to or something, and usually my best friend guides me, and I can't send pictures on my phone, so that doesn't work. But thanks for the suggestion! I will definitely post stuff while I'm gone for break, and I'll probably text him Merry Christmas and Happy New Years and stuff, but other than that, don't know what to do. But thanks for the suggestion!
Still need some topics to talk to him about that are easy and can keep going! But thanks so much to everyone for all the advice so far! I really appreciate it.

rvbernier
Jan 26, 2013, 01:15 PM
I really like this guy, and I used to have a class with him, but I don't anymore. He 's only got 2 classes in the morning, so I only have before school and about 7 minutes between classes to talk to him. I really really like him, and I want us to be more than friends, but I don't know what to do. I have no experience, and I can be really shy. I've talked to him before, and I even tried asking him out the very last day we had class together. I asked if he wanted to see a movie with me that weekend, but he couldn't because he would be out of town. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either.
Now, I want to try and hang out with him or get a date with him sometime, but it's harder since I don't have class with him anymore.
Should I just walk up to him in the halls and start conversation? What should we talk about? How long should I wait before I try and ask him out to a movie or something again?
Details about him: He has a great smile, he played football, he already knows what he wants to be and what college he's going to (We are both seniors in high school) He's currently single, I know what music he's into and recently got into Josh Abbott Band so that we could possible have something to talk about, and I have his number.
I could really use some conversation topics and just overall tips on how to get him to like me and when I should ask him out, but maybe make it seem neutral so I don't scare him off. And since the only time I will be able to see him is between classes, asking him out without his friends being near is going to be difficult, if not impossible.
Please help me out! I really don't want to let this one go by without at least trying!
Also, texting tips/ dos and don'ts would be helpful since I don't know what to do about that either. He never texts me first, mostly cause I don't think he thinks of me often, the only reason I have his number is because I invited him to a choir concert and I needed to give him the address. So how and when I should text him and what I should and shouldn't do would be helpful.
I can't wait to hear your helpful suggestions!

Homegirl 50
Jan 26, 2013, 01:20 PM
You have already asked him out once and he would have gone.Start speaking to him in the hall, text him a hello, see how that goes and ask him out again.

rvbernier
Jan 26, 2013, 01:28 PM
You have already asked him out once and he would have gone.Start speaking to him in the hall, text him a hello, see how that goes and ask him out again.

Okay, I will talk to him in the halls, but what should I text him? I don't want to seem annoying or not know what to text about and be awkward.

rvbernier
Jan 26, 2013, 03:04 PM
I really like this guy, and I used to have a class with him, but I don't anymore. He 's only got 2 classes in the morning, so I only have before school and about 7 minutes between classes to talk to him. I really really like him, and I want us to be more than friends, but I don't know what to do. I have no experience, and I can be really shy. I've talked to him before, and I even tried asking him out the very last day we had class together. I asked if he wanted to see a movie with me that weekend, but he couldn't because he would be out of town. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either.

Now, I want to try and hang out with him or get a date with him sometime, but it's harder since I don't have class with him anymore.

Should I just walk up to him in the halls and start conversation? What should we talk about? How long should I wait before I try and ask him out to a movie or something again?

Details about him: He has a great smile, he played football, he already knows what he wants to be and what college he's going to (We are both seniors in high school) He's currently single, I know what music he's into and recently got into Josh Abbott Band so that we could possible have something to talk about, and I have his number.

I could really use some conversation topics and just overall tips on how to get him to like me and when I should ask him out, but maybe make it seem neutral so I don't scare him off. And since the only time I will be able to see him is between classes, asking him out without his friends being near is going to be difficult, if not impossible.

Please help me out! I really don't want to let this one go by without at least trying!

Also, texting tips/ dos and don'ts would be helpful since I don't know what to do about that either. He never texts me first, mostly cause I don't think he thinks of me often, the only reason I have his number is because I invited him to a choir concert and I needed to give him the address. So how and when I should text him and what I should and shouldn't do would be helpful.

I can't wait to hear your helpful suggestions!

JARIXA
Jan 26, 2013, 03:34 PM
Well, if you have his # technically you can talk to him on your phone. Unless you want to tell him face to face!! :p

rvbernier
Jan 26, 2013, 03:45 PM
well, if you have his # technically you can talk to him on your phone. unless you want to tell him face to face!!! :p

Yeah, I'd much rather talk to him face to face.

Homegirl 50
Jan 26, 2013, 03:45 PM
Just say "hello, what are you up to?"

rvbernier
Jan 26, 2013, 03:46 PM
Just say "hello, what are you up to?"

Okay, I will sometimes. Thanks for the advice.

teacherjenn4
Jan 26, 2013, 08:56 PM
He knows you are interested in him. Let him contact you. If he doesn't, he may not be interested.

rvbernier
Jan 28, 2013, 06:45 PM
Yeah, so I kind of already sort of asked this question like a day ago, but I really need more answers, so I'm just going to ask this a different way.

I really like this guy, he's cute, fun, has a great smile, has complimented me in the past, played football, is smart, and I'm so infatuated with him! I want to make him mine! But I'm kind of a shy girl and I could really use some help.

I did ask him to the movies the last day we had a class together (we don't have a class together anymore) but I see him in the halls right before school starts and for about 7 minutes between one class. He said he couldn't go to the movies cause he would be out of town that weekend, so it wasn't a no (which made me very happy even though it wasn't a yes)

So, where do I go from here? Should I go up to him and talk to him in the halls? If he's with his friends should I just go up and say hi? What should I talk about (the first time I'll ask about his classes and stuff, but after that?)

And how about texting? Should I text him first? What should I say? Just a simple "what's up?" and let him take it from there? (He never texts me first cause he probably doesn't think about me like that or he's shy.)

So, I think he may like me, cause like I said he's complimented me on occasion (about my make-up and a flower I put in my hair on a spirit day once) and when I sat someone behind him, I would see him turning around to look at me out of the corner of my eye a lot.

So I've talked to him, complimented him and smiled and tried to seem like a fun girl, and I invited him to the movies like I said. I get nervous a lot, but I manage to sound somewhat intelligent around him.

So, what should I do you guys? How to I win him over? How do I make him mine? Try and answer all parts of the question(s) if you can! That would really help me out!

P.S. I already have his number, and I forgot to mention we are both seniors in high school.
Now Answer Away!

Homegirl 50
Jan 28, 2013, 07:30 PM
There is no need to keep starting new post on this subject.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/how-can-make-him-boyfreind-730962.html#post3381992
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/ive-fallen-so-hard-fast-dont-want-get-up-help-me-730521.html
You can't make him yours or make him like you. You can let him get to know you. Speak to him when you see him, text him "hello" ask him out. He will either want to be with you or he won't.

rvbernier
Jan 28, 2013, 08:00 PM
There is no need to keep starting new post on this subject.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/how-can-make-him-boyfreind-730962.html#post3381992
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/ive-fallen-so-hard-fast-dont-want-get-up-help-me-730521.html
You can't make him yours or make him like you. You can let him get to know you. Speak to him when you see him, text him "hello" ask him out. He will either want to be with you or he won't.

Sorry! I'm just not getting many answers, so I figured if I posted again more people would see it, since usually the newer posts are seen first. I just really need some advice. I've posted this question on 3 different websites and I still haven't gotten any good advice. So I'm just trying to make sure I do this right.

Homegirl 50
Jan 28, 2013, 09:46 PM
You've gotten advice just not what you want. There is no pat answer to this. We can't guide you step by step and we can't tell you how to make him like you. We don't know this guy. He may like you, he is probably shy. You just keep speaking to him, text him hello. Ask him out again. He will either respond or he won't. If he doesn't it is probably because he is not as interested as you are.

talaniman
Jan 28, 2013, 10:40 PM
Of course all her thread were merged

At some point you are going to actually go talk to the guy and take a risk because there is no sure fire advice that's guaranteed perfect results.

Either it works or it doesn't and it comes down to you actually doing something. I don't think he is as interested as you are since he has made no move just chats as you seem to chase, and that's seldom a good sign.

It's a red flag when you have to do all the work, and he does little or none.

rvbernier
Jan 30, 2013, 08:15 PM
I talked to him today! I just walked up and was like "Hey stranger, how you been?" (He's not really a stranger, I was just joking around).
So we had a good conversation for a few minutes in the hall before we had to separate for class.
So I guess my next step is to keep talking to him everyday, get more comfortable with him, and get him more comfortable with me.

But there is one thing. He's always talking to this same girl. When I've seen him with girls he's known for a while, he's very friendly and playful with them, teasing them and pretending to be hitting their face while their talking. He doesn't do that with me, but he hasn't known me that long, and he's still super nice with me.
So does that mean he thinks of me differently than these other girls. And should I be threatened by this girl he's talking to in the halls? (I think they're just friends, but I'll keep a close eye on how they interact with each other just in case)

So I had a pretty nice day. :) I have regained hope and confidence! Let's keep it rolling people!

Homegirl 50
Jan 30, 2013, 08:28 PM
It means he has known her long enough to be that familiar with her.
There is no need to post a different question on the same topic.

rvbernier
Jan 30, 2013, 08:30 PM
It means he has known her long enough to be that familiar with her.
There is no need to post a different question on the same topic.

Okay, but can you not thread them together? Because no one will see it then.

Homegirl 50
Jan 30, 2013, 08:35 PM
They will be seen. Stop starting new threads on the same subject. People need to know the whole story when they reply. Every Time you post again people will be alerted.

rvbernier
Jan 30, 2013, 08:38 PM
They will be seen. Stop starting new threads on the same subject. People need to know the whole story when they reply. Every Time you post again people will be alerted.

So anyone can see it? Or just people who have already replied to this thread.

Homegirl 50
Jan 30, 2013, 08:56 PM
Your question is always out there. If people want to respond, they will.

rvbernier
Feb 2, 2013, 04:14 PM
Okay, this is sort of a long story, but I'll try and keep it short.
I went to talk to the guy I like to ask him how his calculus test went. As I walk up, two of his friends start laughing like crazy, but he's not, he's answering my question. I didn't pay much attention to them, until one of them followed me later that day. I looked at his twitter feed and noticed that him and the guy that had been laughing had a conversation about a funny hallway moment, and they said #ginger. I assume that was me, since I'm a redhead. So then, like 9 more people start following me, and the first one who followed me(who said #ginger) retweets something I said months ago that pertained to my crush (He doesn't follow me, but this guy and all these people who started following me, he follows them) then another person he also follows but doesn't follow me retweets the same thing. I look through some of their feeds of the people who followed me, and some of them have posts with the guy I liked tagged in them that might be about me.
I blocked them all, but what's really freaking me out is HOW THE HECK DID THEY FIND OUT I LIKE HIM! I never told anyone I didn't trust, and I certainly never told anyone who might be friends with them. So now I don't know how I'm going to talk to him. Cause I bet they retweeted those things to tease him about it. That's the only reason I could think of as to why they would do that. What do you think? Do you have any other theories or do you think that might be why they did that?
And I don't know how I'm going to talk to him now, cause I don't know what he knows, and he's almost always with his friends when I see him. And one of the friends he's always with is the one who first followed me.
How am I going to approach him now? I know I should probably just ignore his friends, and I really don't care about their opinions at all, I'm just afraid of being embarrassed in front of him. I really like him, and I don't want anything to ruin me possibly having a relationship with him.
Is there any positive way to spin this around? Cause I don't see one.
So what should I do?

samcreed
Feb 2, 2013, 04:58 PM
You didn't tell anyone you didn't trust? I think you did.
I would forget about this, and stop it from causing you so much distress. Be honest and respectful of others, and meet some new people. I wouldn't let this be part of my life anymore. Good luck, and I do wish you the best.

PS. What I meant is that I think you told someone you thought you could trust, and that person betrayed you.

odinn7
Feb 2, 2013, 05:05 PM
You told someone or maybe you posted something online that someone figured out. The other answer is that you probably act differently around this kid and someone just guessed that you like him... then your reaction proved it to them.

Let it go. Life is too short to worry about things like this. When you get out of school, you will see this wasn't that big of a deal.

talaniman
Feb 2, 2013, 05:15 PM
When things get this dramatic, backoff and let it die down. Sometimes we are so intent on having our heart's desire we miss a lot of other things we need to pay attention to. Like him while friendly, is NOT making any move to you and others are all up in your business.

Leave this alone for a while.

rvbernier
Feb 2, 2013, 05:15 PM
I don't believe that was the same topic as the rest of the posts I did, but I guess there's not much I can do to change that, is there? Oh well.

Homegirl 50
Feb 2, 2013, 05:36 PM
I don't see what you're freaking out about. The guy knows for sure you like him, so do other people. So what? What difference does it make how they found out. It changes nothing. They probably knew long before this incident.
Does this mean you are not going to talk to the guy anymore?

rvbernier
Feb 2, 2013, 05:40 PM
I don't see what you're freaking out about. The guy knows for sure you like him, so do other people. So what? What difference does it make how they found out. It changes nothing. They probably knew long before this incident.
Does this mean you are not going to talk to the guy anymore?

No, of course I'm going to talk to him, the problem is, he's always with his friends, (which intimidates me already, and one of the retweeters is one of his friends whose always there) I'm just going to be super nervous now, which might make me wimp out a lot, but I'm still going to try to talk to him. I don't want to give up yet.