Hi I'm new here. I joined esp to ask advice on hw to get over my feelings fr the guy I had a relatiobshp with. Im a pakistani &its the culture here to have your parents arrange your marriage to u.its compulsory for your parents to accept the bot you want to marry
Well there is ths boy-he saw me in my old college& proposed to me.frm the frst day he told me about his financial problms bt I liked hm so I dodnt back out. We have been in a long distance relationship since the past 5yes- right from the start
Ths is how are relation went:
Fr the 1st 1yr of are relation- he was the one who did a lot fr me.. I was laid back
After 1.5yr had passed aftr are relation began- I gt serious wd him& wanted to test hm so I asked hm to send hs parents to my home to ask fr my hand in marriage. Hs financial condtn was nt such that he could marry me thn-bt just2prove2me-he sent hz parents
My parents refused because he wasn't settled&my grandma didn't let hz parents sit in are home
Well that was the 1st 1.5yr of are relation.aftr that I realised he was sers &i strtd caring a lot fr hm.like a lot.alws calling and msgng hm and ahowng hm my liv and promisd hm that I would mak my parents agree
The following 2yrs of are relation-i did a lot fr hm bt he had stopped caring.partially it may hv been my fault because I had shown hm so mch of my love that he took me4grantd
I then told hm to come2my city&work here-i gav an ultimatum that if he didn't come to my city fr6months I would leav hm
I did it fr are relation.he came here&thngs gt better bt he still treatd me lik nothng at times&evn verbally abused me when I irritated hm.he was on a low budget job&evn if he had money-he could nevr find the time2take me out&i had2forc hm
Well the 6months passed and finally I had gottn my parents to accept hm.I went to visit my parents&he went bak to hs own city&thn I found out that I had startd weet talkn wd anothr girl of my college whom he met when he had come here to do his job in my city
Tht girl had contactd hm frst&he told her that he was wd me out of some guilty feelng because he dunt want to leav me aftr spending so mch time wd me.. tht he still loved me bt nt lik before
I didn't say a word2hm that I kbew&askd hm indirectly if he was in contct wd anyone frm my colg.he lied2my face saying No
I waitcd and watchd &whn the time came-he left that girk(2months later-thy were only in contct on phone because that girl didn't want2go out wd hm as it was too early)
He sent hs parents again to my place& my parebts said yes.hs parents said that they were waitng fr some court order to be able to sell some property thy had so that they could build a home&then they will mary their son.my parentsagreed to wait
Now its been more than a yr:.fr the past4months my boyfriend has been saying that court date has been shifted to next month.. I know fr a fact that he does have land problm&court is adjourning date again and again
At the same time,he is now earning a lot-my family is forcing me like hell to marry anothr guy&he knows I can't take my familys pressure any longer.he can easily take a home on rent& shift there bt he sits nicely waitng fr the court date
Meanwhile-he has startd double jobs. We have had so many fights because he doesn't seem to have time2talk to me.whn ge does talk-its only fr few minutes
At the same time he claims he cannot live wdout me&wil nevr let me go.r relation has almost ended because of hz double job bt he tells me that he is leaving it bt doesn't leav
Hwevr upat I am-he ends the call and goes(I accept that I had gottn vry crybabyish too).. whn he does do smthg fr me-he does wd whole heart bt I cannot wait fr those rare times anymore&i told hm I'm leavng hm&hv swirchd off my cell.its been 11days now
I know that he hasn't tried2cntct me&tht he belvs that I will com bak bt he also knws that within 1mnth-il be leaving ths country&returnin to my parents2marry sm1else
Bt evn then he hasn't tried to gt bk to me in 11days
I personally thnk that he really does love me&wont let me go bt I may be wrng
Also I have found out that he's a guy who masturbates a lot.lik a lot a lot
I don't know wt to thnk.I jat don't want to loose true love because of my fears
Or at the same time carry on wd a guy who doesn't deserve me
Please help

wow that sounds like something I have expercienced in the past,I know now it seems impossible to heal let alone find someone better,but you will you needa move on and find someone who values you & deserves you.

Its been Akmost a month now that I kast spoke to him.iv kept my mobile off since then bt I know frm a source that he is calls me almost evry othr day to chk if my mobile is on.
At the same time, he has my frnds'nmbr& he knows whr I liv. Other then trying to reach me on my mobile-but he has made no effort to contact me by some other way
I really don't undestnd ths.wt do I do?



wow that sounds like something i have expercienced in the past,i know now it seems impossible to heal let alone find someone better,but you will you needa move on and find someone who values you & deserves you.