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View Full Version : How do I prevent drifting away from my adult siblings?


white-rose
Dec 15, 2012, 04:50 PM
I feel the older I get and become the person I want to be, the farther my family distances themselves from me. Especially my younger sisters. I am in my third year of University for my degree I am basically the only person in my family who has ever been to post-secondary. I also work full-time and live in the downtown of our city with my boyfriend who also works full-time and is in university. My younger sisters party a lot (drinking, recreational drug use), don't keep steady jobs... couch surf, stay with various boyfriends and sometimes pity my mom into letting them stay with her. They are 19 and 20. I feel my life is progressing, I am happy and consider myself successful and motivated. I am maturing at a steady pace, experiencing life with responsibility... and my sisters are at a stand still, almost stuck at the same point in life with no progression.

The thing is I get it, we are different people and there is a good chance we may not stay close. The further I become in my career etc. the disparity will grow between me and my sisters. They may even resent me one day when our lives are so different. I love my sisters though, we have been through a lot together as kids and teens and occasionally we spend time together and it's like we are kids again. My question is even if siblings go completely different directions in life is it possible to stay close. I know as we enter adulthood and now that we are not all living under the same roof, we are already choosing different paths (theirs not so good) and I can already tell we are losing touch. The thing is I don't want this to happen, I will do anything to not be estranged from my siblings, different personalities and lifestyles or not. I don't want to be 30 or 40 or 50 and not have them in my life.

Any advice on this is so appreciated.

kenziev63
Mar 12, 2013, 09:27 AM
Just hangout with them. If they are annoyed with you ask them why.

Wondergirl
Mar 12, 2013, 10:22 AM
I am the oldest of four kids. We are all four years apart for the last one who is 16 years younger than I am. I went off to college when the smallest was a year old. No one else went to college, but the three sibs remained in our home area after finishing high school. All survived divorces and blended families and failed pregnancies that I heard about but had no connection with because I was 600 miles away and wasn't able to go home very often. Only when I reached my 50s did I reconnect with the other three. That's what happens when sibs go off in different directions and are separated by age and distance and life events.

fredg
Mar 12, 2013, 11:16 AM
The only thing you can do is be with them when you can. If they don't like it, or don't like you because you are "bettering" yourself, maybe they will outgrow it.
Hopefully, they will choose a path that is better than they are already following. I do wish you the best, and good luck with your studies and your career. I have 2 Bachelors and 1 Masters degree. You can do it, too.