Hi everyone!

I have a situation where I don't know what to do so would appreciate any advice. Here it goes:

Last christmas I took my girlfriend of 5 years to New York and proposed to her in the most fantastic and memorable way I could think of... on top of the empire state building on christmas night!

She was my first major girlfriend and had always thought we'd be together but 3 months later I split up with her... the reasons vary but mainly because I realised I was just going through the motions, I lost my attraction to her, questioned my love for her, and ultimately realised I wasn't happy anymore. When going out with friends I found myself looking at other woman and imagining things, things I shouldn't when I'm in a relationship with someone never mind engaged. Therefore I ended it before I did something I'd always regret, I've never been a cheat and never want to be!

Obviously I broke her heart, and I cut off from her altogether and found she didn't fight for me as much as I thought she might. She met someone else quite quickly and was soon going on holiday with him and not long after moved in with him.

After that I started seeing someone who I found very attractive both physically and mentally and over time we've grown and have a good relationship. However I've never been able to give her my everything, I still think about my life I had with my ex and feel guilty everyday for promising the world then not delivering and breaking her heart. My current girlfriend has told me she loves me despite me having this guilt and not allowing myself to love her back.

Last month my ex finished with her boyfriend and got in contact with me, telling me that she still loves me, thinks we're meant to be together, and can't stop thinking about New York, which haunts me too. I never kept this from my current girlfriend and have been honest when my ex has been in contact.

Now it's that time of year again, and I find myself looking back, missing my ex, missing New York, and wishing I'd tried harder. Then on the other hand I'm with someone who loves me and I have strong feelings for her and I'm sure if I didn't have this guilt we'd be going full steam ahead and be happy.

I don't feel like I'm being fair to my current girlfriend and have thought about putting a stop to it while I try work through things. If I did that I no there's a chance I'd go back to my ex, but then I may realise that my current girlfriend is the one for me, or alternatively maybe I need a bit of time on my own...

What would any of you do if you were me?

I'd appreciate any thoughts on my dilema... am I being a fool??

Stay with your current girlfriend, based from your story I can see that she is very considerate and have a big heart, she still love you despite knowing fact about your ex. As for your ex, it is wise to let her go, sadly, like you said yourself it is not fair for your current girlfriend. Plus, your ex just broke up with her guy. Do not look back.

You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself which is doing you and anyone around you no good.

Here's my take on it. I never go backwards in anything including relationships. Of course breaking up with someone who you have been together with for a period is difficult on both parties. When you are away from that person you start missing all of the good things. When you get back with that person you start saying "Oh yeah, this is one of the things I disliked about our relationship."

Ultimately this is your decision to make. You need to be honest with yourself because something led you to break up with this girl even after proposing.

I wish you all the luck!

Thanks for your feedback, still not sure what I'm going to do, guess I'll just see how it all plays out... :/

I agree with the earlier posts, don't go back. Being engaged is a big deal but if you were at that point in your life already and you had doubts with that particular lady, I don't know if round two will go over so swell. You may be reminiscing about New York now but if you two decide to give it another go, it won't take much for bitter feelings about the falling out to re surface. You seem to like the idea of being in the picture perfect relationship, but with who - that's the uncertain part. Good luck homie.

However I've never been able to give her my everything, I still think about my life I had with my ex and feel guilty everyday for promising the world then not delivering and breaking her heart.

You weren't able to give your ex everything either. If you did you more than likely would have worked harder to keep the relationship going rather than giving up after 3 months of proposing.

Maybe... you have commitment issues. Being in a long term relationship is one thing.. getting married for some is another.

I would stay with your current girlfriend, it is good that you are being honest with her, stay like that and don't ever hide anything from her as she sounds very understanding, you are lucky. It's hard to think back on what if's but you can't make your feelings that you never had and can't keep looking back. Maybe you could be friends if your current girlfriend agrees x