Hi everyone. Well I have a great boyfriend who is 17, and I'm 15. He respects me, I respect him, He's very loving and caring. Yes, we do have *protected* sex. We've been through quite a lot. I'm very depressed and have tried killing myself many times before, and he's always been there for me and tried to stop me from hurting myself. I've ran away, been kicked out, I cut, and through all of that he's been there for me. He's seen me do drugs, hurt myself. He's always been there. We've been together for about 4 months now. But we've know each other for about a year and some months. Before our relationship we had "hooked up" and did some things. It was the last week of high school before summer break that I was hospitalized for the second time for trying to commit suicide. I was gone the whole week. Even though we were not yet in a relationship, it was like we were. A few months later I found out that the same week I was in the hospital, he had done "things" with another girl. The same girl who did things with him told me. I got over it, but I still use it against him, and that's part of the reason I don't 100% trust him. (I guess you can say I'm not over it since I use it against him.) We finally became a couple the first day back from summer break. Maybe about a month in a half, I find out (he told me) that he had a "crush" on another girl. We are both friends with her, and I was pretty upset. I told him to choose me or her, he picked me. I didn't say "oh stop talking to her forever, don't even look at her" I just said "Would you rather have me, or her?" And that's another reason I don't fully trust him.
Lately he's been acting different. He always makes sexual remarks towards guys, and says "all guys act like this, it's normal" He told me he wanted one of my guy friends (who is gay) to "go down on him". He also says he fantasizes about being a girl, and having sex with other guys (as a girl). He said he wants to wear heals, he wants to dress up as a girl, I sent him this video of a guy dancing and he said it was hot, He saw this picture of a really "sexy" girl and said "I wish i was that sexy", and he thinks about guys a lot. I am not homophobic in anyway, but I just don't feel comfortable knowing that he might, or is gay, or bi. Just because I already have girls to worry about, and I don't want to worry about guys too. We've talked about it and he says he's not sure. I told him I would leave him if he was because I don't want that stress of thinking about it. And NOT because I don't like homosexuals, because I do. He told me " I love you to much to lose you.. so I'll keep it to myself"
I'm not sure what to do, should I wait and see what he feels? Should I break up with him? Please help >< Thanks.