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Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 12:38 AM
He said he doesn't want to let go but he has to cause I been hurting him too much. What do I do?

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 12:39 AM
Stop hurting him.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 12:41 AM
How do I do that? He gets so jealous even when my guy friends tweet at me and I reply then. I want him so bad but I don't know how to prove to him.:( please help it's a long distance relationship.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 12:44 AM
How does he know about your guy friends tweeting?

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 12:45 AM
He's on twitter too. I mean they are my friends am I just suppose to ignore them because he gets jealous? I feel it's not right.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 12:47 AM
Do you flirt or just have fun? Is your boyfriend jealous for a good reason?

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 12:51 AM
I don't flirt on any websit. With any one my guy friends. He has my password to twitter which with that at least he knows I have nothing to hide. Well I did tell him a couple of weeks back I was drunk and slept over at a guy friend's place since then he's been so insure. But I want him so bad. He feels he's wasted his time blah blah.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:04 AM
Well I did tell him a couple of weeks back I was drunk and slept over at a guy friend's place since then he's been so insure.
Now I'm unsure of your faithfulness and feel like I am wasting my time responding to you.

Obviously, you know what to do and how to behave. Twitter isn't the problem at all. Getting drunk and "sleeping over" is -- and definitely not how to encourage trust in a boyfriend!

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:08 AM
I know it isn't. I made a mistake and I'm trying to change that. I did hurt him and no one Is prefect I want to fix things:( please help me. P.s he says I need to prove to him if I really care about him and I want to be with him but what could I possibly do to prove to him?

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:13 AM
You prove you are trustworthy by BEING trustworthy. No parties and getting drunk. No kissing and flirting with other guys (so they laugh about it on Twitter). Study hard in school and do your chores at home. You don't have to be a nun, but you do have to avoid the appearance of unfaithfulness. And I know you know what I mean.

If that cuts into your idea of fun, then you should not be in this relationship. You are too immature to be in one if you want to flirt and kiss and get drunk and sleep over.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:13 AM
Early this week I wrote him 27 messages about how much I still wanted him. He read and ignored me I still tried to talk to him. I finally succeeded. I was at a friends birthday party everyone was partying and I got carried away. That was just it.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:16 AM
Early this week I wrote him 27 messages about how much I still wanted him. He read and ignored me I still tried to talk to him. I finally succeeded. I was at a friends bday party everyone was partying and I got carried away. That was just it.
Twenty-seven messages is so over the top, so immature and so needy. Stop that kind of communication. Words mean nothing if behavior is immature and slutty.

Drink Coke or Pepsi or Seven-Up. Do not drink alcohol.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:18 AM
Lol thanks I actually thought this whole thing was suppose to make someone feel better not worse. Thanks anyway. U barely even know me and yet you call someone slutty *high five*

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:22 AM
Lol thanks I actually thought this whole thing was suppose to make someone feel better not worse. Thanks anyway. U barely even know me and yet you call someone slutty *high five*
Well, then tell me that you have been faithful and trustworthy. Drinking so that you get so drunk and then sleeping over leaves all sorts of ideas in one's imagination.

And if he were doing this behind your back without you there -- going to parties, getting drunk, touching and kissing girls, laughing about it on Twitter -- how would you feel?

I haven't gotten any bad ideas in my head that you haven't put there. He's gotten the same ideas from your behavior.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:25 AM
I know. But please I'm just asking would I ever get him back.. If you were in my shoes what would you do?

I never flirted or kissed anyone. FYI. Do you think he would ever have known if I never told him? Think about that. And if I wasn't been honest would I even have mentioned I messed up to him. I may have been the bad person but I'm hardly the bad one. I just need advice I want to keep him.

Are you a Leo lady?

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:32 AM
I know. But please I m just asking would I ever get him back.. If you were in my shoes what would you do?
First, I would stop acting so needy with frequent emails, texts, calls, etc. about how much you love him. Prove it by not getting drunk and not being every guy's buddy and flirt friend. In fact, get off Twitter and stay off. When you text or email your boyfriend, talk about school classes and texts and teachers and silly things that happened during your day with the family dog or hamster or cat. Tell him what you ate that day and how good the pizza was. Stay away from talking about guys and parties and alcohol. Do fun things with him. Write a story together, with you doing one sentence and then he adds a sentence. Talk about books you are reading (you ARE reading books, right?). Be normal, not Miss Chatty Cathy.


I never flirted or kissed anyone. FYI. Do you think he would ever have known if I never told him? Think bout that. And if I wasn't been honest would I even have mentioned I messed up to him. I may have been the bad person but I m hardly the bad one. I just need advice i want to keep him.
Why would you tell him if you did. You have whetted my imagination, and I'm sure he is suspicious too.


Are you a Leo lady?
I am Scorpio, full of fire and passion -- and truth and justice and integrity.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:34 AM
Why would you tell him if you did. You have whetted my imagination, and I'm sure he is suspicious too. so you are saying I should never have been truthful to him?:o

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:35 AM
so you are saying I should never have been truthful to him?:o
No, I am saying you should never have put yourself in that position in the first place.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:36 AM
I am Scorpio, full of fire and passion -- and truth and justice and integrity.
Oh wow! U did sounded like a Leo but Scorpio isn't a fire sign ?


No, I am saying you should never have put yourself in that position in the first place.
You never messed up miss? Like ever?

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:38 AM
You never messed up miss? Like ever?
Nope. I have never gotten drunk at a party nor have I cheated on a boyfriend or acted untrustworthy. When I had a boyfriend, he was the center of my world and I behaved myself.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:38 AM
First, I would stop acting so needy with frequent emails, texts, calls, etc. about how much you love him. Prove it by not getting drunk and not being every guy's buddy and flirt friend. In fact, get off Twitter and stay off. When you text or email your boyfriend, talk about school classes and texts and teachers and silly things that happened during your day with the family dog or hamster or cat. Tell him what you ate that day and how good the pizza was. Stay away from talking about guys and parties and alcohol. Do fun things with him. Write a story together, with you doing one sentence and then he adds a sentence. Talk about books you are reading (you ARE reading books, right?). Be normal, not Miss Chatty Cathy.
Thanks a bunch I will surely stick to what u've said. But as of now he isn't even speaking to me. I feel I should give him some space.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 01:39 AM
Thanks a bunch I will surely stick to what u've said. But as of now he isn't even speaking to me. I feel I should give him some space.
And stay off Twitter to show him you are serious. He will begin to see how you really feel about him and that you value him.

It's 2:40 a.m. here, and I am going to bed. Sweet dreams (and no Twittering!).

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 01:41 AM
And stay off Twitter to show him you are serious. He will begin to see how you really feel about him and that you value him.
Gradually he will talk to me?:( thank you so much. U ever been in a long distance?


It's 2:40 a.m. here, and I am going to bed. Sweet dreams (and no Twittering!).
You too.:) thank you so much. Here it's 9:42am:p. talk to you hopefully soon. Haha.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 2, 2012, 03:42 AM
The issue is that most long distant relationships don't work, and most end with couples breaking up. The reason, long distant has to move to real like local at some point. So what is future plans, how many years for it to happen. Is there local meetings some times.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 06:27 AM
U ever been in a long distance?
Yup. My boyfriend was back home in western New York and I was in college 600+ miles to the west in Chicago. I came home only three times a year for a few days. I worked at the college during the summer. And back in those long ago days when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was no texting or cell phones or computers for email. Long distance calls on rotary phones (my dorm had one on the wall for 200+ girls to use) were very expensive, so he and I wrote letters to each other.

The drinking age in Illinois was 21, so no wild, drunken parties were held on campus or off (at least none that I knew of). If you were in a relationship with someone, other guys (or girls, if you were a guy) respected that.

You don't know how good you have it!

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 04:21 PM
How cute. :D. anyway we got talking he told me to tell him something
I'm afraid to say how much he means to me cause of maybe my incapabilty of showing it. I have been off twitter for the past 21 hours now. He did speak to me today normally.:D

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 04:25 PM
how cute. :D. anyway we got talking he told me to tell him something
I m afraid to say how much he means to me cause of maybe my incapabilty of showing it. i have been off twitter for the past 21 hours now. he did speak to me today normally.:D
Now, see how well that works -- building trust! Keep it up! Be coy.

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 04:28 PM
:d

Our anniversary is in a few days time. I want to do something but it's a L.D.R. any suggestions please for what.Apart from Skype.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 04:32 PM
What time? First year?

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 04:35 PM
Lol its not up to a year yet just the 9th month.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 04:52 PM
It's no big deal then. Nothing is called for except a nice email saying, "Happy nine-month anniversary."

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 04:53 PM
Lol, thanks.

Wondergirl
Dec 2, 2012, 05:00 PM
And being well-behaved and trustworthy.

Alty
Dec 2, 2012, 05:05 PM
I never did understand the month to month anniversary thing. Celebrating an anniversary every month makes it less special and meaningful.

I'd wait until you actually hit a milestone, like one year, before doing something special. The 9 month point doesn't even require an acknowledgment, just another day, another month, nothing special, not yet. Not unless that 9 month mark coincides with the arrival of a child, then you can celebrate. :)

Nab28
Dec 2, 2012, 05:20 PM
And being well-behaved and trustworthy.

Lol thanks wonder girl and I shall remain trustworthy:)! And no more twitter gaga .

wanting sex but unavailable

He's never mentioned he wants to have sex for the past 8 months. I mean that's really a while. I'm far from him. I don't know what to do I really want him to have sex. But I'm unavailable. And suggesting something else might seem like I actually don't Care about him.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 12, 2012, 01:34 AM
So let him have sex with someone else if it is bothering you that much?

But seriously so he has not had sex, he can masturbate, men go months and years without sex with another person, he will survive.

Has he been making or saying things to make you feel bad ? Is he trying to make excuses to allow sex with someone else ? Are you ?

Nab28
Dec 12, 2012, 01:41 AM
Oh wow. I didn't think men could survive for now without sex. No he's not making me feel bad at all. And he's said he can't have Sex with anyone he doesn't have feelings for. I once asked him if he masturbates once he told me NO.

Distance

I met him online, we Skyped a few times we text everyday. We are so far apart. This summer I went back to visit my family. He was suppose to be back by the time I was there. But he's school work didn't let. He's there now while I'm in school. Like he will be out before I get to go back there next year. It doesn't seem like we will end up meeting I don't know what to do. I really want to meet him.

smoothy
Dec 12, 2012, 06:57 AM
How about meeting someone who actually IS where you are... There are plenty of available people that ARE local to you that you can get to know. Instead of fantasizing about someone that isn't.

Nab28
Dec 12, 2012, 07:03 AM
How about meeting someone who actually IS where you are.....There are plenty of availible people that ARE local to you that you can get to know. Instead of fantasizing about someone that isn't.

It isn't to let go. But I guess I will have to ASAP. I guess we might never meet up.

smoothy
Dec 12, 2012, 07:17 AM
The problem with distance relationships is you both dream things up about each other that aren't true because you aren't there to know differently... its something you can't avoid doing.

Then when you finally ARE together you find they aren't what you expected them to be. Both people do this.

There really is no substitute for actually being there early into a relationship.

Some things just aren't meant to be... just because you CAN do something doesn't mean its wise to actually do it.

Nab28
Dec 12, 2012, 07:26 AM
The problem with distance relationships is you both dream things up about each other that aren't true because you aren't there to know differently...its something you can't avoid doing.

Then when you finally ARE together you find they aren't what you expected them to be. Both people do this.

There really is no substitute for actually being there early into a relationship.

Some things just aren't meant to be....just because you CAN do something doesn't mean its wise to actually do it.

So you are saying I should just let him go?

smoothy
Dec 12, 2012, 07:32 AM
He's lying about not masturbating... either that or he's just plain got issues.

Nab28
Dec 12, 2012, 07:33 AM
He's lieing about not masturbating....either that or he's just plain got issues.

What do you mean?
Lol what type of issues?:s

smoothy
Dec 12, 2012, 07:35 AM
what do you mean?
Lol what type of issues?:s

He's masturbating or he has mental issues...

Unless he's a Bhudist Monk... he's masturbating if he isn't having sex with someone...

And it he isn't then he has mental or behavioural issues.

Nab28
Dec 12, 2012, 07:36 AM
He's masturbating or he has mental issues....

Unless he's a Bhudist Monk....he's masturbating if he isn't having sex with someone...

And it he isn't then he has mental or behavioural issues.

LMFAO.. I will have to believe a dude I guess he's lying then.

smoothy
Dec 12, 2012, 07:40 AM
so you are saying i should just let him go?.

Yes.. that IS what I am saying.

Nab28
Dec 24, 2012, 11:35 AM
We haven't said a word to one another for the past two days. I want to accuse myself here saying it is my fault. I posted on his Facebook wall he didn't bother replying me. And I don't know what to do. If to keep not saying anything with the hope he will come talking to me! Or speak to him.

odinn7
Dec 24, 2012, 12:16 PM
Let him go. It's never going to amount to anything but pain anyway. You are better off finding someone that you can actually be with.

smoothy
Dec 24, 2012, 12:21 PM
Exactly... you are going to waste years of your life on this loser that you will never get back, take that time to look for someone closer to you geographically... there are 3.5 billion guys more or less on this planet... and there aren't too many places where there are no guys... everyplace has its share or losers... but keep looking there are good people out there that you can actually see in person s often as you both want.

Its easy to pretend you are not the kind of person you really are online... its not as easy with you can look them in the eye when you talk with each other.

Nab28
Dec 24, 2012, 12:27 PM
Exactly....you are going to waste years of your life on this loser that you will never get back, take that time to look for someone closer to you geographically...there are 3.5 billion guys more or less on this planet...and there aren't too many places where there are no guys...everyplace has its share or losers...but keep looking there are good people out there that you can actually see in person s often as you both want.

Its easy to pretend you are not the kind of person you really are online....its not as easy with you can look them in the eye when you talk with each other.
What if he does come back talking to me, what do I do? Cause I believe it ain't worth it. I have been told a lot of times p.s We Skyped a lot of Times. We figt a lot. I mean it feels real and unreal at the same time.:(

Nab28
Dec 24, 2012, 12:31 PM
Let him go. It's never going to amount to anything but pain anyway. You are better off finding someone that you can actually be with.
Less pain if we ain't talking?😱

smoothy
Dec 24, 2012, 12:49 PM
Less pain if you stop ALL contact... its easier to get someone out of your mind if they aren't constantly on you mind by talking with them.

Think of it like pulling off a bandage... its better to rip it off fas and the discomfort is over faster.t.. than do it slow and feel every hair come out by the roots one by one...

talaniman
Dec 26, 2012, 10:42 AM
Wow, this online long distance relationship is so unhealthy at many levels and has little to do with reality. Its totally make believe as only cyber love can be.

smoothy
Dec 26, 2012, 10:47 AM
Wow, this online long distance relationship is so unhealthy at many levels and has little to do with reality. Its totally make believe as only cyber love can be.

You got that right... she needs to count her blessings she didn't move a long way spending all of her money to do so, only to find out he's NOTHING like he pretended to be... its going to be EASY for her to get out of this one.