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View Full Version : My boyfriend has given up on sex with me


Orange10
Dec 1, 2012, 08:48 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year. When we first got together we had sex often, but since we moved in together it has slowed down- I see this as normal. I also noticed he watches porn- which I think is normal for any male as well. The problem I have is that I've only had one orgasm through vaginal stimulation(not with him) and one orgasm through oral(with my current boyfriend). He can tell I don't when we have sex, so he's initiated it less and sometimes after I initiate it he will get up, say sorry and walk out of the room. Am I not good enough or is he upset because I bruise his ego? How can I get him to stop giving up and how can I calm down enough to enjoy sex with him?

Wondergirl
Dec 1, 2012, 08:57 AM
Most women do not have orgasms by means of vaginal stimulation. (Yup, all those porn videos showing that are faked.) The sensitive nerve endings just aren't there inside your vagina -- they are elsewhere, even on your neck or on your buttocks or on your face, much less amongst your lady bits, all of which is where he needs to concentrate his efforts during foreplay. (And foreplay begins hours before the main event.)

Can you bring yourself to orgasm alone or with him watching?

Orange10
Dec 1, 2012, 09:04 AM
Most women do not have orgasms by means of vaginal stimulation. (Yup, all those porn videos showing that are faked.) The sensitive nerve endings just aren't there inside your vagina -- they are elsewhere, even on your neck or on your buttocks or on your face, much less amongst your lady bits, all of which is where he needs to concentrate his efforts during foreplay. (And foreplay begins hours before the main event.)

Can you bring yourself to orgasm alone or with him watching?

Yes, I can bring myself to orgasm vaginally and clitorilly. He knows I own a vibrator, even suggested to get a big dildo a few months back. But I don't need a big size, just the right touch. Once he asked to watch, but when I tried to show him where to touch me, he kind of discarded the idea and said- no ill just watch. He's never asked for me to do it again.

smoothy
Dec 3, 2012, 05:26 PM
You've been together only a year... what happened is the lust wore off and the new girl excitement has been replaced with routine and familiar. Happens ALL the time in roughly this same time window. Add its possible he's upset about something you may not be aware of and it can easily drop to almost nothing.

That however doesn't excuse his unwillingness to learn during that time... and while you will NEVER know everything about someone in only a year... he should know at least where and what at least some of your buttons are. Even if he wasn't trying he should have known a lot more than he obviously does by now.