Hi, Im 20 yrs old and my fiancé and I desperatley want to have a baby. I was pregnant about 5 months. Ago but I let my mother pressure me into abortion. I have very irregular periods. My last period was Mar. 1 but it only lasted about 4 days (usually my periods are about 7) When is the right time to conceive? What are some helpful techniques?

Sorry but there is no such thing as letting somebody pressure you into doing something you do not want to do. You had an abortion, what makes you think it will be any different now when you get pregnant. I think you should stop being so desperate and wait for a few years when you're more mature.

Joe

I disagree with Joe; you can very much be pressured into doing something that you don't want to do, especially in regards to a pregnancy. If that weren't so, then why are there so many birthparents that are coerced into adoption?

That aside--I think you might be looking to have a child for the wrong reasons. I highly suggest going to see a counselor for help dealing with your abortion (ESPECIALLY if what you say is true and you were pressured into it) and then talk to a family planner about what it will take to have a child and care for one properly. They would be able to explain your fertile days and techniques for trying for pregnancy, though I don't think you are quite ready for one yet.

I honestly think that you're feeling sad and guilty about your abortion, and wish to replace that child with another---and that won't work.

The thing is if it happened 5 months ago. If she got pregnant again. Won't her family do the same thing. What makes the next time any different.

Joe does make a good point with the family situation--if it has only been 5 months, what has changed that will make your family any more accepting of a baby now? And let's be clear here--at 20, you probably do not make enough BY YOURSELF to support a child. You will need help from your family.

No matter how much your boyfriend loves you--a baby changes everything. How is he going to feel when you're too tired to make dinner, too tired to go out, can't find a babysitter, you need a break from the baby, there's no WAY you're in the mood for sex, and you can't afford McDonald's, much less a doctor? Are you SURE he will stick by you?

I'm 32, married, and want a baby in our lives as well... but there's no way I would even begin to want to try it without family support!

Being a parent is not something to go into lightly. Take it from me I was 21 when I was pregnant and I didn't expect motherhood to be this hard. You can't just one day decide that you don't want to take care of the baby. Or even take a break when you want to . When you have a child, your life is revolved around what that child needs and wants.

Having a baby isint all smiles and cute little clothes, its HARD work, and they don't stay baby's forever they grow up and want money rides and I don't think many young parents realize that. I just had a friend who's 16 have a baby she loves her but its hard hard hard work. You had the aborition and it sounds like your letting your mom take the blame, but you were 20 you're a big girl you made that decision. Don't rush again your only 20...

You are 20 years old, and shouldn't allow ANYONE to preasure you into doing anything, ESPECIALLY with the life of your child. This happened only 5 months ago, why will it be so different this time around?

The right time to conceive is when you are mature enough to bring up a child and not let other people make decisions for you.

I Know What It Means To Take Care Of A Baby... im Not A Lil Kid... me And My Fiancé Have Our Own Apt Living On Our On Doing Our Thing... and Peer Pressure Is A... I Know Why She Told Me Not To Have The Baby But I Should Have Listened To My Heart... im An Adult Who Is Able To Take Care Of My Responsibilities And My Man Knows How To Be Sensitive To When Im Tired Or Too Sick To Do Something... my Man Isn't Going Nowhere... dont Forget I Was Pregnant For Two Months And Sick Every Second Of Everyday And He Held Me Down So That's Not The Issue... my Fiancé And I Do Nothing But Grind... we Both Have To Jobs And He Also Has A Child From A Previous Relationship That He Takes Care So We Both Are Able... thanks For The Comments

Also I Never Said My Road Would Be Easy... we Will Be Ok Because God Is Able

Hi, Im 20 yrs old and my fiance and I desperatley want to have a baby. I was pregnant about 5 mos. ago but I let my mother pressure me into abortion. I have very irregular periods. My last period was Mar. 1 but it only lasted about 4 days (usually my periods are about 7) When is the right time to conceive? What are some helpful techniques?
I disagree with all this negativity. First lets look at it like this. NO ONE register to this site can say that in the past or present they never have been turned because someone else in their life was pressuring them to make another decision. Having a baby isn't something to take lightly but you want one I say do that . It's a blessing, something beautiful and wonderful. Thousands of people can't even have children. Just make sure you know ALL the pros and cons about your physical condition first. Also, Im trying figuring out when having a baby ever was considered easy. When someone comes across someone who popped out a book of instructions after the child came, then write about that. Isn't it a given that things will be different ladies and gentlemen? Isn't that life?? Whatever, maybe I'm wrong,LOL. Anyway girl, if this is what you want to do and you're ready, nike that up and I'll babysit for you guys.

Love me

JacintaBlue2004 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/../members/jacintablue2004.html) disagrees: You came at my neck real hard,

I did not came hard at your neck at all. I just spoke the truth about how no one can pressure anybody into doing something you do not want to do. Now 5 months you want to have a baby again. What do you think is going to happen again.

If you did not come here for the truth then what did you come here for. Desperate for a baby so soon after an abortion is not right, especially when your parents are going to pressure you again. You can not handle pressure. Grow up for a while first so your future possible children will have a better life.

Joe

Ok Thanks For The Comments... as I Said Earlier... however I Will Do What I Feel Is Best For Me...

Hi jacintablue2004

Now that the judging is over..
After a termination it really screws around with your body's regularity..
As it does mentally for somepeople as well.. I've known a woman's body to continue playing out the full nine months, like denial or something I guess.. It acted out a full blown phantam pregnancy..! Amazing!

I'm no health expert but I do no there are a lot of internet sites that offer a whole lotta professional tips..

I wish you all the luck of the irish..
And all the happiness of motherhood..
Don't ever regret any decision you make in this life time, there's too many obsticles in front of you to be constantly looking back..

Go get them girl.. the only way to mature is to grow with experience!

A question for jesushelper76

Are you in fact upset that she terminated and respected her mothers wishes?

Or

Are you saying she's immature because she didn't tell her mother to stick her opinion where it fits?

I kind of missed your point. Kind of like you missed the question.

I am saying that the first time she was pregnant she should have told her mother to stick her opinion where it fits. She should have done that. I thought that is what I made loud and clear but then I get fitted and labelled as being judgemental?

Joe

I thought she was simply asking a question..

She was the one that mentioned how she was pressured by her mother to have an abortion just five months ago. Now she is in a rush to get pregnant again. What will happen this time? THat is my question. She is the one that decided to add all that info which helps even more, because if she was not mature enough to handle the pressure from her parents she won't be now. Five months is too too fast. I want the best for her and her future babies.

For her to actually grow and learn from the experience first and not jump into anything right away because it will not be good for anybody involved.

Joe

I suspect she added the extra information to aid people in their advice for further fertility advice..
I'm pretty sure she didn't want more pressure..
I know how I felt after the fact and even heartless people have a conscience and struggle with the feeling of disgrace..

Just couldn't see any positives that's all..

I am saying that the first time she was pregnant she should have told her mother to stick her opinion where it fits. She should have done that. I thought that is what I made loud and clear but then I get fitted and labelled as being judgemental?

Joe

Ok then maybe she's feeling you, realised her mistake, and has now decided she'll stand strong..

It wasn't really that clear because in another breath you suggest family support is necessary.. So I couldn't define where you stood..

I truthfully didn't read all the comments back so I'm not sure you got all the answers you were looking for. Fist of the best way to get pregnant is 14days after you last period. Because your period is so irregular then that’s going to be a little harder. You could always go to the store and buy and ovulations kit I heard they work great! I’m 19 so a year younger then you and I’m due sometime around Aug. People tell me all the time its going to be hard for me and that I won't be able to do it. I do understand its going to be hard but lest just say my life hasn’t been that easy up tell here. Right now I don’t work and before that I was only a waitress. My fiancé is a welder. Which gives him 6,000 dollars a month. Were even planning to buy this beautiful house before the baby come which will take 800 dollars a month to pay on our mortgage and will be worth it in the long run. My friends have been huge helps, from helping me with the crib to all my baby need plus I have 3 younger siblings that loved it and have pitched in so much already. I’m sure once your mom has a grandchild she will change her mind in so many ways. She just worried for you, your parents always want the best for you and she’s thinking that its out there some where else. But if truth be told she don’t know what’s in your hear. If you ever need help or any kind of support I’m here for you. Good luck getting pregnant.

P.S. I should tell you that once you have had an abortion it is hard to become pregnant and the one your have the lower your chances are. So you might have to be trying for a while…but there tons of fun in that. Also if your don’t mind you might want to look at how far along you were when you had this abortion cause your body might not be fully ready to have a baby just yet.

Once Again Your Still Talking About My Question After I Said Thanks But No Thanks To Your "advice" In My Question I Don't Believed I Asked For Any Opinions Or Comments On Abortion I Asked About Techniques To Get Pregnant... I See Your Against Abortion And That's Cool But Im Prochoice... I Have Found Plenty Of Support On This Website And I Know There's Good People Out There With Good Advice (not Including You) So Stay Off My Page And Don't Answer Nothing I Ask... once Again Thanks But No Thanks... have A Nice Life

You should chart your basal body temp to track your ovulation. You can also use ovulation predictor kits. Since your period is abnormal, I would say to have intercourse every other day between periods. That will ensure that you have intercourse during ovulation. You still want to chart your ovulation so you know that you are ovulating. Hope this helps.

Once Again Your Still Talking About My Question After I Said Thanks But No Thanks To Your "advice" In My Question I Dont Believed I Asked For Any Opinions Or Comments On Abortion I Asked About Techniques To Get Pregnant...i See Your Against Abortion And Thats Cool But Im Prochoice...i Have Found Plenty Of Support On This Website And I Know Theres Good People Out There With Good Advice (not Including You) So Stay Off My Page And Dont Answer Nothing I Ask...once Again Thanks But No Thanks...have A Nice Life
It does not matter whether you said no thanks to advice that you did not like, because that is exactly what this board, open board mind you is for. Everybody gives their advice and answers and you decide what is best for you. If you can not handle the advice, even though true not my problem. THIS NOT YOUR PAGE, IT IS A PUBLIC PAGE FOR ALL TO ANSWER. SO DO NOT EVEN START WITH ME.


Joe

Houston, we have a problem!!

Okay, I see where Joe is coming from. If Mom was able to coerce you into an abortion 5 months ago, she may try again. If you are pregnant, and she does try to force you, and you don't want to, the stress of this can be unhealthy to you and the baby.

I am not trying to be judgmental, but am trying to show you the medical side of this. Okay?

Yes, 5 months is a little early to be trying again. Your body needs to recover completely from the abortion before it is physicall ready to carry a baby in a healthy manner.

The stress your mother may cause is another health issue during pregnancy. Stress does indeed affect the growing fetus. It can cause a multitude of complications including but not limited to low birth weight, premature delivery, preeclampsia, and possibly miscarriage.

So, before making this serious decision, it may benefit you to talk with your mother, get your feelings out in the open, before you become pregnant again, and wait a little more time for your body to recover from the pregnancy you had 5 months ago.

K everyone is entited to their opinions and questions and thoughts,don't jump down peoples throats if you don't like something IGNORE it...
No need to get nasty here people

Best of luck on getting pregnant, I do am trying right now.. I'm in the 2ww to take my test!

You need to wait to have another baby. You need to be mature enough to handle the responsibility. You also need to have your own mind. Five months after the first one and you are rearing to go again. Your mother is important but you need to be able to make decisions on your own. 20 years old is young. You need to wait several years. :)