So my husband and I are both 22. We have been together for 5 years.(Married for 2) We had our first child after being together for 1 year and a half. When we were dating as teens, we were so passionately in love with each other. We would do everything together, even if niether of us had money, we'd find something to do like watch the sunset on the beach, anything was fine as long as we were together. I was so happy back then. But since we got married and have been living together, its been a little bt of a nightmare.. Especially having a 3 and a half year old together. Him and I argue over petty things CONSTANTLY, but where we really butt heads is with raising our daughter.To put it plainly our daughter is a major "daddy's girl." I feel she lacks discipline and I have to be hard on her, because he won't. I feel like it's unfair that I have to be the "bad guy" just because he wants to be the fun and loving parent. I must admit he is an AMAZING father, always has been. Of course I know our child is our NUMBER ONE priority, I feel like totally irrelevant to him now. It's like the only thing important to him is our little daughter, and he could care less about me or my feelings. He constantly undermines me when I tell her what to do and gives her her way almost all the time. It makes me feel unimportant and disrespected. On top of this, he NEVER takes me out. Money is tight and I understand, I don't expect to be wined and dined 24/7, but being on a budget never stopped us from enjoying eachother's company before. I feel very hurt a lot of the time. He doesn't make an effort to make me happy, ever. I wished he would do even small things like bring me a little bouqet of flowers or maybe let me pick a romantic movie to watch, but he won't. When I tell him I want to go out for a stroll together, he would rather go to the gym, or says he's too tired. When I tell him I want to go see a movie at the $2 movie theatre with him, he'll say it's too far and he doesn't want to waste gas. He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful anymore, doesn't hold my hand. The only time he gets affectionate with me is when he wants to have sex. We just are not in love with each other anymore and it breaks my heart. His two priorities right now are our daughter obviously, and joining the military. I feel very alone even though I am with him everyday. I become envious and depressed when I see couples being affectionate and happy together. I want that so badly. My self-esteem is very low since I gained some weight after my pregnancy. I am chubbier but it's distributed evenly, I don't have a big belly or anything and I'm definitely not fat. He on the other hand is trimming down and toned, getting prepared to enlist. If feelings between us now are distant, I dread how it will be once he's in the military. He's always been faithful and loyal to me. But I do feel threatened that he may become involved with another female because him and I are not emotionally connected like we once were. All I want to do is have that feeling we used to have. I miss being important to him. But I feel like re-connecting just isn't important to him. I'm a very emotional person (a scorpio) and he is mostly reserved about his feelings ( a capricorn) I just want us to have a happy family and still be in love, not one or the other, and I'm definitely not willing to end this marriage at all.I don't know how to begin to tell him how I've been feeling without him saying I'm "just being too needy." Advice?

You should not blame it on your little daughter. I understand the feeling when you feel neglected. Maybe the lack of interest is just natural and your darling is not able to realise that he is unknowingly neglecting you. Maybe tight finances, responsibility of being a father, military ambitions and all such things are playing on his mind. You just need to talk to him about it. But how you put over that conversation will be more important.
In such cases the friends play a very important role. He may wave off your concern but if one of his buddy tells him that he is taking his wife out tonight and they are enjoying life (will help if that friend has a kid)... and then the friend asks what about you buddy how's it going?
It might hit him and make that all important realisation. But this is only if you think that blurting these family problems to a friend is good and OK.

The point is that somehow you should make him realise that he needs to give you more time, attention and affection.

You can also persuade him to go out with you by telling him like "lets take our daughter out this weekend for some fun" and maybe he agrees that way.

You should also strive to wear nice clothes to stay and look attractive and exercising to be slimmer might help your cause a bit more.

If all other things fail and he continues the same way, well then u just hug him tight and tell him that why can't he be the before him. Stand close to him and look into his eyes and remind him of the beautiful time you spent together. Finally tell him that you feel insecure sometimes and ask him to make life beautiful again even if money or whatever comes as an obstacle in the way and then kiss him. Be emotional but steady during all this.

Hope that helps and I will be happy if you guys get into older way again.



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