View Full Version : MEN-I need your honest opinion... Why he doesn't know how to talk to me?
Maya09
Nov 23, 2012, 04:21 PM
So since the day I met my husband and even before we got married I noticed that he can never talk to me, I feel like he gets bored when we are out alone... since engagement and then marriage,, he likes to spend time alone at home and there is always a lot Hugging, cuddling, touching and holding- I think these things all express his feelings for me but still why can't he talk to me, why is he bored with me and the surprising part is that when we are with friends or anyone he tends to talk non stop and even tell stories I never knew about before!!
It feels like he's not into me at all...
Alty
Nov 23, 2012, 04:26 PM
No one can tell you why he can't communicate with you the way you want him to, other than him.
All men are different.
If you want to know why he is the way he is, ask him. He's the only one that can answer your question.
Wondergirl
Nov 23, 2012, 04:36 PM
Do you talk to him? Do you tell him stories?
WisperWill70
Nov 23, 2012, 09:33 PM
If you're sitting at dinner feeling sensitive and feeling like you two are not connected, and assuming he's not into you, I guarantee he's not going to feel like being a chatty-Cathy around you and that you're sending your OWN "shut down" signals too! Chances are you're not sharing something as well.
Learn to respect his own unique communication style. Some guys aren't talkative and it has nothing to do with how contented they are or how happy they are in your presence. He may talk more around friends because he's not with them as often.
If he doesn't strike up conversations he may expect that you don't want to hear what he has to say (do you overwhelm or dominate conversations or conversely not tell stories or share yourself? Do you "fix" or interject when he talks?). If you switch your intention towards learning about him and listening and if you also commit to sharing and being open yourself, - then you can definitely open up the "conversation" stream again.
Maya09
Nov 24, 2012, 05:25 AM
I am open with him and I tend to talk a lot... it's true that my guard is always up around him for some reason but I do talk... I have also noticed that when I tell him a story he has nothing to say back!! I don't get it he's willing to hug me all night but not communicate with me...
talaniman
Nov 24, 2012, 07:41 PM
He does communicate his feelings by his actions but you aren't listening to him. It's a common problem and maybe you need a couples counsellor to learn each others language, or a translator.
Fr_Chuck
Nov 24, 2012, 07:51 PM
There is a great book called "Love Languages" that I use in some of my pre marriage counseling.
The issue is, for some men, they are saying, I earn the money, pay many of the bills, I don't go to strip clubs and don't hang with my friends much, I am showing her all the time I love her, why does she not understand.
Or other men may be saying, I snuggle all night, this is what all the books says she wants ( and it is what most books say) why is she still wanting more.
I agree, he is saying plenty, you just are not listening to him they way he is saying it