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View Full Version : What to do with my ex girlfriend? Help please.


dntsay
Nov 23, 2012, 10:49 AM
First off I apologize for this being long. It's better to put out all of the details to get a better understanding. Thank you in advance.

About 3 weeks ago my girlfriend wanted to talk to me. So I met her at a restaurant to talk, but beforehand I told her that I wanted to speak first that is OK. She agreed. So when I got there she was waiting for and I went to grab her hand and she said "come on let's just go" OK lets. As we sat down she told me you wanted to speak first OK go ahead. I told her that I know and understand that she has A lot going on right now (her mom has been having these headaches for about a month and she has been sick for about a month and the doctors don't know what's wrong, her daughter is being bullied at school and she is going to have to go see a psychologist and she has sclerosis, and my girlfriend is going to school to become a chiropractor and has these board exams coming up that she needs to study.)She said she has way too much to deal with.

I told her before that if she needed any help with anything to please let me know. Either coming over to give her a massage or something as backing off while she is doing all of this all I want to know is for her to tell me. That's it. Well she told me that everything going on is just too much right now and that she has to cut something out and that she is sorry it's me. She told me that I'm not emotional there for her and that I'm too emotional myself. That I'm a real selfish person when it comes to her and her daughter. That I don't put myself in her situation, when that's all I have done these past 4 months. Yes sometimes I get a little bit frustrated when I want to see her right away when she gets home from school. I have missed her. Also she said that I'm insecure about myself because I have to tell her that I love her after almost every text. She said it doesn't matter how many times you say it until it becomes meaningless actions speak louder than words.

I asked to give me one more chance to prove her wrong. She told me that she is losing love for me and that right now she feels numb about the whole situation. So I told her than we are taking a break? She said yeah if that's the way you want to look at it. But I can guarantee anything after a couple of weeks. As we walked outside she was telling me that look at the positive things that came from this you gain confidence in yourself you got a new job and lost a good amount of weight. I told her it was all because of you I did this. All because of you. Then she told me that she still wants to be friends and that she has never been friend with any guy she has dated because I'm her best friend and her daughter has a lot of respect for me and she likes me being around. That she wants me to come over to kick it watch a movie play Wii with her daughter and hang out go get dinner or lunch or whatever. I gave her some flowers that I had brought for her (in her past relationships, she said no one has ever gotten her flowers) I gave them to her and she got teary eyed and said oh my flowers as she looked at me.

She told me to please respect her and her time right now with everything going on. She sat down in her car and I leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss and she returned it as well. Tears ran down her cheek and told me that she was going to miss me and I told her the same and I told her that I love you and said bye. She drove off.

My question is does she still love me and wants to be with me? We were planning out future together and talked about marriage. I know she is the one for me I feel it in my whole body then as I do now. She has told me that I am the one and that she can't wait to be done with school and move on with me and start a family. I want to know what the hell happened. I love this girl very much that I can't imagine my life without her, I really can't. She has barely contacted me, maybe once a week if that. What should I do I feel that I need to fight for her to get her back. She is the one. 3 weeks is too long without seeing her. HELP!! Please I'm on my knees.

Kkeell
Nov 23, 2012, 11:03 AM
As hard as it may be and no matter how painful it is you need to move on. One of two things will happen she will come back for you or she won't. You can't force her. Make it clear that you love her and you are giving her what she asked for. Let her know that if she in time wants you your just a phone call away. In the meantime do everything and everything to stay away. I'm sorry I know how much it hurts. Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do, good luck

dntsay
Nov 23, 2012, 11:10 AM
Is it possible to just throw away a very serious intimate relationship just like that in 2 weeks? I just don't get it.Also is it a break up?Or taking a break?which one is it?because she never said that we are breaking up. She didn't say those words at all. And she also sent me a text that night that she hopes that I don't hate her.Wha the hell? I'm so confused about this whole situation. I want to marry this girl.

Kkeell
Nov 23, 2012, 11:30 AM
It sounds to me like she is trying to separate from you. Maybe she feels smothered by you. You yourself mentioned she complains of you saying I love you constantly you mentioned her daughter needing her and her saying your selfish about it. I as a parent will be the first to tell you that if I were single I would be incapable of a serious relationship because my life revolves around my children. As does my husbands. You may be to needy and she can't meet your needs. She is a parent she already has someone's needs to be there for her. I feel bad for you. I hope after a break she will come back to you. But I don't know. Maybe you should find a therapist to talk to a few times to help sort out your emotions. Again good luck. I know it hurts.

dntsay
Nov 23, 2012, 11:41 AM
So kkeell is it in your mind a break up?or taking a break to deal with the stuff that she has going?I'm not needy all I ask for in return is that when I wanto be there for her to just let me know that's its.this is the woman of my dreams the girl I have been looking for.I want to fight for her with every possible way but I need to know what's going on in her mind.

Kkeell
Nov 23, 2012, 12:13 PM
It may be a break and in that time maybe she will want you back or maybe she will find a break up is what's best. Give her the time to figure that put. Let her know your standing by hoping for her to come back to you. While you are waiting hope for the best but prepare yourself for the worst.

dntsay
Nov 23, 2012, 12:18 PM
Now should I send her a text letting her know that I'm hoping for her to come back or.. or how should I worded to her that I want her back but not.if you know what I mean. Also should I call her to she how she is doing? Give her time its been 3 weeks now.everyone tells me to give her at least 3-4 weeks.others say if she can't figure out in 2 weeks that she wants you then there is no hope left but to accept it and move on.what do you think Kkeell?

Kkeell
Nov 23, 2012, 12:37 PM
Have you talked to or seen her in the past three weeks? And how old are you and her?

dntsay
Nov 23, 2012, 12:46 PM
I have not seen her in 3 weeks.I talked to her on the phone was 4 days after we met that night to talk.I v sent her a text to see how she is doing no replys excpet for one saying that she OK. I have been sick with pnuemonia the past 2 weeks and she has not once sent a text to see how am I doing at all. She 33 and I am 26

talaniman
Nov 23, 2012, 12:53 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/cousin-dating-708221.html

Leave her alone and see this as a break up and get your own life in order, and let her get her life in order. Maybe when she does her feelings for you may come back, or maybe they won't. Any contact will annoy her, and make you a pest to her.

Kkeell
Nov 23, 2012, 07:41 PM
Are you so lonely that you make up stories? Cousin dating? That's a different story your telling. What's up with that? Maybe my previous advice of seeing a therapist is correct.