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View Full Version : Bro Code Deciphered


icesis23
Nov 21, 2012, 12:08 PM
Hey everyone! :) I'm here because I'm so damn confused and I have no one to ask so I thought why not as you guys. Haha the title is kind of random and sounds like a movie but anyway I was with a guy 6 years ago and we dated for about 2 years then he dumped me. Then about a year ago he contacted me again and we started talking and he told me he still loved me and he really regretted breaking up with me but he was really confused and depressed and blah blah.

So after talking every day for almost 6 months I noticed that I was head over heels in love with him again but he has a new girlfriend and I was really scared he would hurt me again so I told him that I didn't want to go down this road again and he has found someone who really takes care of him and loves him and he shouldn't ruin it. And so far he has respected that and hasn't contacted me or anything, which is good but...

About a week after I told him this, his best friend (they have been best friends for like 18 years and they are really close like brothers) contacted me on Facebook.

I haven't talked to him in about six years so I thought it was really strange. He asked me how I was and if I was dating anyone etc. And then he started flirting with me, really flirting with me. I live in another city than both him and my ex boyfriend and he told me if I ever visit then we should meet up. Then I told him "well that would look kinda dodgy since you're my ex bfs bestfriend" and he started saying "I dont know if I could keep my hands off of you, you are gorgeous etc" and I asked him straight out if this didn't go against the 'bro code' to hit on your bestfriends ex girlfriend? He just brushed it off.

And I'm really confused atm because I have no idea what's going on because from what I remember, he was never like this before, he never showed any interest at all and just today I remembered how jealous my ex boyfriend would get when I spent time with his best friend. So I'm starting to wonder if he (my ex) is behind all of this, but then I wonder why on earth would he ask his best friend to hit on his ex girlfriend? THEN I wonder but why would his best friend hit on his ex girlfriend... gaaah I'm going crazy and I have no idea how to react to this haha I have a feeling that this is just me overthinking the whole situation but I just want to understand this.

Also he can email me then I'll reply and he doesn't write back for ages (weeks) and then other times he answers me straight away, so I'm wondering if he only replies when he is with my ex?

Anyone has any advice or thoughts or did I just confuse all of you as well?

:)

talaniman
Nov 21, 2012, 02:10 PM
I think your confusion, and curiosity are piquéd by this sudden and unexpected attention. Also the fear of being sucked into something.

The solution to all this is to go no further, with the ex, who has someone, or his friend. Then you won't be caught between their BS. It's a distraction for you making choices based on facts (an ex committed to a new girl, and his best friend who wants to put his hand on you since you are available.), instead of just feelings.

Curiosity is often the product of confusion and desire. I think you can find better options than being caught between these two. Both for romance, or friendship. I all of this really worth it?

There is no code between bros. It's a myth perpetrated to justify self serving behavior, and cover their own a$$es

BEWARE!! Protect YOUR own a$$!!

Alexis Dubree
Nov 22, 2012, 08:05 PM
Do not involve yourself with your ex and his best friend its pointless and a waste of your time.

WisperWill70
Nov 22, 2012, 11:34 PM
Any kind of relationship with the ex or the friend of the ex, is asking for trouble. BOTH guys are showing a serious lack of respect for you (and in your ex's case - his own lady) by acting this way. Put them both in your past. Any guy who would treat his friend like that is no friend and would make a lousy boyfriend anyway.

icesis23
Nov 23, 2012, 01:58 PM
Heya, thanks for the replies! I really appreciate it. I just want to clear something up, I didn't mean that I was interested in his friend and I would never ever start anything with him. And I seriously doubt he would do that to his friend.

I was just wondering if you guys thought it sounded like my ex boyfriend was behind this whole thing :) he is very manipulative and he has tried to play mind games with me in the past so that's why I have been suspecting it.. I guess I will never know though..