Well me and wife have been together for about 3 years and we have a 9 month old and a 4 year old.I don't know what to do about the way me and her mother are with the 4 year old Because we are never on the same page.She makes it harder on me to be a father.Sometimes I can be a hard dad on my 4 year old because I think she runs all over her mom.but the problem begins when the mom always over rules me in front of my 4 year old.Now it's at a point where I tell her to shut when she try's to do it.My 4 years know now that if I say no then she will just tell her mom. Help?

Just don't go to the mother in laws home with the child.

You and your wife have to agree on child raising. And your wife has to stand up to her mother about your agreed-upon parenting defense, if that becomes necessary.

-confused- don't think a mother in law is involved? (by 'her' mother, I think op is referring to his 4 year old daughter and his wife... )

Super important that you and your wife discuss what kind of behavior is OK and what is not so that you are on the same page. See if there are any programs in your area that offer parenting classes.

-confused- don't think a mother in law is involved? (by 'her' mother, I think op is referring to his 4 year old daughter and his wife...)

I read it at least three times trying to figure out who all the feminine pronouns were. You are probably right.

Not totally sure... OP hasn't been back, so I guess we'll never know!

*edit*
This is weird, isn't it?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotional-wellbeing/what-do-think-542072.html

Also - maybe he (she?) does mean mother in law:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/mother-law-700409.html