I’m a 24 y/o male, not sure if I’m cared for by other people, semi heavy drinker, admitted that I might a problem with alcohol, had my first drink in a week... trying to stop or slow things down, I don’t really know what having "one" means. Be in a large room and or crowd, not being noticed by others around me, I’ve fantasized about faking my own death to see if anyone would care to come to my funeral, I think of alcohol as my outlet even though I know I shouldn’t, look at other couples kissing makes me feel that "I want that" again... no one to talk to about this except for my writings, not many friends as I would like to have, would like more but I don’t know how or where to start, be gentle with me

Write something for our site Blog (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/blog/blog-essays-eagerly-desired-686215.html). It's being ignored. Let me know if you will.

Have you tried A.A.

I've considered it, yes

200-800 words or so on a topic I approve of, and I will gently check it and maybe edit it before I post it. PM me if you want to do this. Or you can say here and drive up the curiosity of what you will write.

Don't just consider AA, check it out a few time.

Have you ever considered that people may be ignoring you because of the alcohol. Dealing with the drunk at the party isn't fun, and most people that are there just to socialize, don't socialize with someone that can barely stand up.

I would really suggest getting help with the alcohol issue. Once that's being dealt with, try going out and actually talking to people. Don't wait for them to approach you, don't sit in the corner feeling lonely. I know it's scary to put yourself out there, but once you realize that the fear of rejection is not that scary, you'll put yourself out there, get rejected at times and just move on to the next person.

I'd bet that in 6 months time, if you dealt with the alcohol issues and stopped sitting around waiting for people to approach you, you'd come back with a very different attitude and a very different outlook on life. Want to take the bet?