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View Full Version : I Have Social Anxiety (Especially Around Guys I'm Attracted to) Is there hope for me?


jodar7
Nov 14, 2012, 08:11 PM
I'm a girl in my early 20's, who's never dated before or anything. People say I'm attractive so I know my lack of experience with guys is due mostly to low self-confidence and my social anxiety. Anyway, I've noticed that whenever I interact with guys, especially those who intimidate me somehow (attractive, tall, etc.) they seem to like sense my nervousness and sort of smile to themselves/smirk and come in my personal space, stare at me a lot, starting convos with me, etc.

This might be considered "hitting on" me I guess, and you'd think I'd be flattered by this but I'm not. In fact I get a lot anxiety from even the simplest conversations with attractive guys my age, because I'm a bad conversationalist. I can only exchange a sentence or two with them before I start making a fool out of myself by stuttering, saying something stupid, or worse blanking out and just staring dumbly.

I wish I could be smoother with guys and actually be able to have a proper conversation with them, and exude confidence. The odd thing is no matter how many conversations I've had and messed up in, I never seen to improve. It's like something's terribly wrong with me.

How do I become calmer and become more confident when around the opposite sex? And do you have any advice on being a better conversationalist because I'm terrible and it affects my self-esteem and confidence. I've become very depressed over it, and feel like I'll be alone the rest of my life.

jodar7
Nov 15, 2012, 04:39 PM
Can I get even one answer please? :(

Alexis Dubree
Nov 22, 2012, 06:44 PM
I was sort of the same way as you as far as having a conversation. What I've done was surround myself with guys. I made a lot of guys my friends (guys that I don't like) so when I talk to them ill be OK. By doing this I became more comfortable around guys. Now when it came to guys that I liked it was easy to have a conversation because guys are mostly interested in the same things so talking to them was like talking to one of my guy friends.