PDA

View Full Version : My boyfriend and I want a kid I'm only 14 is that bad


candygirl3331
Nov 14, 2012, 06:40 PM
My boyfriend and I want a kid and I am only 14 but I don't really care we love each other and want to be together is that bad?!

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 06:43 PM
Yes that's bad... do you aspire to live in a run down trailer in a run down trailer park and not have an education? Have a kid as a kid and you are destined to that... and he will be fooling around with others before you turn 16...

dontknownuthin
Nov 14, 2012, 06:44 PM
It's beyond bad. It's terribly selfish and abusive. It's selfish because it's about you and your young boyfriend want, but babies are people and there's no way in hell you can support a child for at least another ten years. So, you're really talking about upsetting your families terribly and having a baby for someone else, because there's no way you will be able to raise a child or many years to come.

Cyanara
Nov 14, 2012, 06:51 PM
It is so nice that you are both feeling such maternal/paternal feelings.

But think about what having a child would mean to that child if you have a baby when you are so young.

It means you will never be able to explain the fun or going out, of how to cope with normal teenage life, of how to deal with the challenges that face you as a young adult.

Live your life so that you can share your experiences with you child when they are older...

Enjoy your life!!

Also... Think about how you would support a child. I assume you're still at school... If you have a child now it will severely limit YOUR prospects for life later on.

And... On a slightly legal side... If you love each other enough to want a child together you must live him enough not to want him charged with statutory rape - whether you consent or not, sex with a minor ( under 16) is illegal and can be considered statutory rape and/or child abuse. Do you want your baby to grow up with the chance his/her daddy is a convicted rapist?

Practice safe sex - condom AND pill/implant (implant probably better when you're young as its so easy to forget to take the pill - been there done that! )

Good luck in whatever you decide, just remember that a baby is the product of your love and commitment and that baby deserves the very best experience, love, support you can give it - and if that means waiting a few more years to do that - then you truly will be a wonderful mother!

candygirl3331
Nov 14, 2012, 06:54 PM
It's beyond bad. It's terribly selfish and abusive. It's selfish because it's about you and your young boyfriend want, but babies are people and there's no way in hell you can support a child for at least another ten years. So, you're really talking about upsetting your families terribly and having a baby for someone else, because there's no way you will be able to raise a child or many years to come.


I would be a great mom and he has a lot of money to support me and my baby if I have one

candygirl3331
Nov 14, 2012, 06:56 PM
It is so nice that you are both feeling such maternal/paternal feelings.

But think about what having a child would mean to that child if you have a baby when you are so young.

It means you will never be able to explain the fun or going out, of how to cope with normal teenage life, of how to deal with the challenges that face you as a young adult.

Live your life so that you can share your experiences with you child when they are older...

Enjoy your life!!!

Also... Think about how you would support a child. I assume you're still at school... If you have a child now it will severely limit YOUR prospects for life later on.

And.... On a slightly legal side.... If you love each other enough to want a child together you must live him enough not to want him charged with statutory rape - whether you consent or not, sex with a minor ( under 16) is illegal and can be considered statutory rape and/or child abuse. Do you want your baby to grow up with the chance his/her daddy is a convicted rapist?

Practice safe sex - condom AND pill/implant (implant probably better when you're young as its so easy to forget to take the pill - been there done that!!)

Good luck in whatever you decide, just remember that a baby is the product of your love and commitment and that baby deserves the very best experience, love, support you can give it - and if that means waiting a few more years to do that - then you truly will be a wonderful mother!

My boyfriend is 16 I'm 14 its not bad at all and its not statutory rape I have talked to a officer about it before

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 06:59 PM
i would be a great mom and he has alot of money to support me and my baby if i have one

RIght.. at 16 he is rich... why don't I believe that... minimum wage doesn't let you rent a place much less raise a baby... OR a wife...

$200 a month income is NOT a lot of money its not a lot of money for a week either... if fact unless he makes a lot more than that a day... he doesn't make squat.

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 07:01 PM
my bf is 16 im 14 its not bad at all and its not statutory rape i have talked to a officer about it before
It is bad... and he won't be around long after the baby is born.. if he sticks around that long...

How much money do you think it costs to raise a baby every month anyway?

candygirl3331
Nov 14, 2012, 07:14 PM
It is bad.....and he won't be around long after the baby is born..if he sticks around that long...

How much money do you think it costs to raise a baby every month anyway?


My boyfriend is amazing he has money because his parents are rich we love each other a lot and we want a baby everything you say is going in one ear out the other HE LOVES ME

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 07:17 PM
my bf is amazing he has money because his parents are rich we love each other alot and we want a baby everything u say is going in one ear out the other HE LOVES ME

They must have TWO pickup trucks... and incidentally... I'M a lot smarter than you... actually... most people are for that matter. Because if you actually were reasonably intelligent... you would not be asking this question.

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 07:22 PM
ur messed

I know how to spell words... YOU will be lucky if you even attend high-school much less graduate... I graduated College...

Any Sixteen year old wanting to have a baby with a 14 year old is going to be exceptionally lucky to get a job mopping floors

Because even Walmart prefers people with High School diplomas instead of dropouts... and a 14 year old mother has effectively ZERO chance of graduating and neither does he.

And NOBODY will hire a dropout for a good job anyplace.

And this is all dependent on you even surviving long enough to have the baby... girls your age DIE during pregnancy sometimes because of your young age a LOT more often than WOMEN over 18 do.

teacherjenn4
Nov 14, 2012, 07:42 PM
my bf is amazing he has money because his parents are rich we love each other alot and we want a baby everything u say is going in one ear out the other HE LOVES ME

If everything we say goes in one ear and out the other, why are you on this site?

candygirl3331
Nov 14, 2012, 07:46 PM
If everything we say goes in one ear and out the other, why are you on this site?

I was talking abot smoothly

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 07:48 PM
If everything we say goes in one ear and out the other, why are you on this site?

AND she's depressed some OTHER guy she was just dating just left her and is dating a friend and THEY won't listen to Miss Einstein's advice...
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/depressed-716895.html


And I'm not surprised...

teacherjenn4
Nov 14, 2012, 07:49 PM
i was talking abot smoothly

You're young and there is a very good chance you will not be able to carry a baby to full term. If you don't have excellent health care, worse can happen to you or to the baby. A baby deserves to be raised by an educated parent. You aren't a high school graduate, and if your boyfriend doesn't provide care or financial support, how will you finish school?

Enigma1999
Nov 14, 2012, 08:01 PM
You may think you are ready for a baby, but you're not.

You guys have plenty of time to play house. For now just live your life and enjoy school because it goes by so fast.

Enigma1999
Nov 14, 2012, 08:08 PM
my bf is amazing he has money because his parents are rich we love each other alot and we want a baby everything u say is going in one ear out the other HE LOVES ME

Lets get something straight. His PARENTS have money, not your boyfriend. So what you're saying is that you guys are going to get pregnant and have his parents provide for the baby? Don't you think that's unfair? I mean after all his parents weren't planning on providing for a baby that isn't theirs?

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 08:10 PM
Lets get something straight. His PARENTS have money, not your boyfriend. So what you're saying is that you guys are going to get pregnant and have his parents provide for the baby? Don't you think that's unfair? I mean after all his parents weren't planning on providing for a baby that isn't theirs?
And the day he turns 18 in two years or less... they legally won't have to either...

smoothy
Nov 14, 2012, 08:12 PM
Teenagers seem to think they have ALL the answer to life... that is before they actually have to move out from home and support themselves.. and discover they were wrong about everything. Particularly since the job of Mother is a 24 hour a day job... literally, particularly while they are still breastfeeding.

Alty
Nov 14, 2012, 08:46 PM
This thread is about a 14 year old that wants to have a baby. The only thing that doesn't add up is that she wanted to know if this is bad, which it is, and then didn't want to hear when people told her that it was indeed bad. So the question is, why did she come here for advice when she already seems to have her mind made up and doesn't want to listen to anyone that doesn't agree that she's ready to be a mother.

So, to answer this one;


my boyfriend and I want a kid and I am only 14 but I don't really care we love each other and want to be together is that bad?!

Yes, it's bad. Most states the legal age for sex is 16. I don't know of one state where the legal age is 14 (but I could be wrong, tell me your state and I'll tell you the legal age). So, not only is it legally wrong, but it's morally wrong too. You're only thinking about what you want, not about what a baby needs. I can tell you that a baby deserves more than a child for a parent.