missymarkath
Nov 10, 2012, 05:47 AM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years (and 3 weeks). I am 26, he is 28. We never really fight besides random bickering... (and even then its NOTHING big AT ALL and only lasts a few minutes)
The past month he started working extra hours (60 hour weeks) Monday - Saturday as well as taking an online college course and a Sunday college course.
I have mentioned the past few weeks that I miss him a lot!
He works late Monday, Weds, and Fridays and I have class myself on Tues and Thurs nights. Our only real day to hang out recently is Saturday.
Last night I went over his place because it was the first Friday in a long time where he didn't take a late shift. He said he actually turned it down because he told his work he is getting burned out.
I was so excited to see him. He called me as normal when he left work and told him he would be home in about an hour and showered so to come over then.
I thought we were going to do our usual weekend thing - Target, grocery shop and have dinner together. (you know, the things you do after 3 years of dating)
When I got into his apartment he kissed me hello and sat on his couch. I asked him how his day was and all of a sudden he said 'well... theres something I need to talk to you about... ' my stomach dropped.
he told me that he doesn't think we feel the same about each other. He feels like we always talk about marriage and he isn't sure he wants to get married and he thinks its not fair.
**side note: we have both openly talked about getting married
I told him I didn't want him to feel pressured. Since we have been dating 3 yrs I think people just assume it's 'that time' to get married. I told him I didn't want him to feel the pressure and of course I want to marry him one day and am excited about it but that I know neither of us have the money or are in the position just yet. Both of us are also in school and I told him that I know we need to both finish.
I am not sure if he is getting cold feet about the thought of the holidays coming up.. or how long he has truly felt this way.. or if this is really how he feels.
everything was GREAT for our anniversary (3 weekends ago) and when I asked him how long he was thinking about this he said a few weeks. I asked him if it was before our after our anniversary that triggered it and he said after.
I feel like I just need to give him space?
in my heart he is the one for me. I can't picture myself with anyone else. We have SUCH great chemistry together. I packed up a few of my things at his place (pictures, holiday decorations, etc) but have to come back for more.
he told me I am his best friend and this is the hardest thing he has ever had to do.
he sobbed. He never cries. I honestly have seen him tear up maybe once or twice. Never full blown sob.
my gut tells me its not over.. but I also don't want to give myself false hope.
I just don't feel like any of this is real.
The past month he started working extra hours (60 hour weeks) Monday - Saturday as well as taking an online college course and a Sunday college course.
I have mentioned the past few weeks that I miss him a lot!
He works late Monday, Weds, and Fridays and I have class myself on Tues and Thurs nights. Our only real day to hang out recently is Saturday.
Last night I went over his place because it was the first Friday in a long time where he didn't take a late shift. He said he actually turned it down because he told his work he is getting burned out.
I was so excited to see him. He called me as normal when he left work and told him he would be home in about an hour and showered so to come over then.
I thought we were going to do our usual weekend thing - Target, grocery shop and have dinner together. (you know, the things you do after 3 years of dating)
When I got into his apartment he kissed me hello and sat on his couch. I asked him how his day was and all of a sudden he said 'well... theres something I need to talk to you about... ' my stomach dropped.
he told me that he doesn't think we feel the same about each other. He feels like we always talk about marriage and he isn't sure he wants to get married and he thinks its not fair.
**side note: we have both openly talked about getting married
I told him I didn't want him to feel pressured. Since we have been dating 3 yrs I think people just assume it's 'that time' to get married. I told him I didn't want him to feel the pressure and of course I want to marry him one day and am excited about it but that I know neither of us have the money or are in the position just yet. Both of us are also in school and I told him that I know we need to both finish.
I am not sure if he is getting cold feet about the thought of the holidays coming up.. or how long he has truly felt this way.. or if this is really how he feels.
everything was GREAT for our anniversary (3 weekends ago) and when I asked him how long he was thinking about this he said a few weeks. I asked him if it was before our after our anniversary that triggered it and he said after.
I feel like I just need to give him space?
in my heart he is the one for me. I can't picture myself with anyone else. We have SUCH great chemistry together. I packed up a few of my things at his place (pictures, holiday decorations, etc) but have to come back for more.
he told me I am his best friend and this is the hardest thing he has ever had to do.
he sobbed. He never cries. I honestly have seen him tear up maybe once or twice. Never full blown sob.
my gut tells me its not over.. but I also don't want to give myself false hope.
I just don't feel like any of this is real.