Hi, I’m just 20 years old, completed BBA. There are only 21 days for my marriage but my fiancé is not talking well to me. I said to my mom last month I don’t want this marriage. So my dad talked to him and asked him to my home to speak with me. He spoke nice, but I didn't like that.

After that he didn’t call or message to me. Having more ego, head weight. Marriage works are going fast, but my mother in law and father in law are very nice. I don’t like that guy and I also like to study more and like to go on a job. These are not possible in my fiancé home. I want to stop this marriage.

I'm confused. What can I do now?

Simple... don't go... he can't marry you if you aren't there.

Simple...don't go......he can't marry you if you aren't there.

ThanQ... But where I don't want to go... Tell me clearly...

Don't go to the wedding. Just don't show up.

Don't go to the wedding. Just don't show up.

Thanks for your advice... But tats not possible...

ThanX for ur advice... But tats not possible.....

Then call the police and tell them you have been kidnapped and are being held against your will..


Unless you have been kidnapped and FORCED to go against your will, then you DO have the ability to decide to just NOT go.

Either you don't go and make yourself happy... or you go and make HIM happy... but you have to make that choice... and you DO have the ability to make that decision... what you won't have is one where everyone is happy.

Then call the police and tell them you have been kidnapped and are being held against your will..


Unless you have been kidnapped and FORCED to go against your will, then you DO have the ability to decide to just NOT go.

Either you don't go and make yourself happy...or you go and make HIM happy....but you have to make that choice....and you DO have the ability to make that decision....what you won't have is one where everyone is happy.

Ya your right... But I need some more ideas...

More ideas? Tell him you do not want to marry him. Stand up for yourself and tell him, your parents, his parents, anyone that you need to tell that you don't want to get married.

More ideas? Tell him you do not want to marry him. Stand up for yourself and tell him, your parents, his parents, anyone that you need to tell that you don't want to get married.

Thanks for your suggestion... Ur idea is good to me... But tat oly my problem... I'm afraid to tell... If I 'll tell to anyone they will tell tat you would say before engagement why you telling now? More problems will be created bcos of my society... So I'm going to sacrifice... ThanQ all for giving me some ideas...

Sacrifice your own life o everyone but you can be happy? Refuse to get married, tell your fiancé YOU WON'T DO IT!!

The sooner the better, as you have already wasted enough time so why keep wasting it?

You are willing to be trapped in a house while he goes to an interesting job, and you don't? And then babies, and catering to in-laws, and being a housewife for the rest of your life, just so that you don't hurt your parents? TELL THEM NOW that he is cold and unloving when they aren't present, and that you want more school and a real career.
I would think in any society, any religion, the woman backing out of a marriage is not nearly as bad as a man wanting out. He would have to pay for the expenses of the ceremony and probably more.

Just say "sorry the marrige i off"

Sacrifice your own life o everyone but you can be happy? Refuse to get married, tell your fiance YOU WON"T DO IT!!!

The sooner the better, as you have already wasted enough time so why keep wasting it?

Really your right... But now ntng to do... My fate... Anyway I want to set a path to go in this life...

just say "sorry the marrige i off"

Thanks for your advice...

You are willing to be trapped in a house while he goes to an interesting job, and you don't? And then babies, and catering to in-laws, and being a housewife for the rest of your life, just so that you don't hurt your parents? TELL THEM NOW that he is cold and unloving when they aren't present, and that you want more school and a real career.
I would think in any society, any religion, the woman backing out of a marriage is not nearly as bad as a man wanting out. He would have to pay for the expenses of the ceremony and probably more.

U also more right... I'm just doing it for my parents... So I'm going to marry him... ThanQ...

Going into a marriage that you don't want is FRAUGHT with disaster. Don't do it. Listen to everyone here. Once the words come out of your mouth, as in I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU, then you will feel a total sense of relief and freedom. I honestly cannot imagine marrying someone I didn't love without crying through the whole ceremony.

Going into a marriage that you don't want is FRAUGHT with disaster. Don't do it. Listen to everyone here. Once the words come out of your mouth, as in I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU, then you will feel a total sense of relief and freedom. I honestly cannot imagine marrying someone I didn't love without crying through the whole ceremony.

Now I don't know what to say with you all... ThanQ so much for your advices...

As we have said... you go into marriage assuming its forever... and forever is a very long time if you aren't happy.

I don't understand why you asked this question when you knew there was no way, that you were willing to accept, to get out of it. You were never going to follow any of the advice given, so why did you ask?

I don't understand why you asked this question when you knew there was no way, that you were willing to accept, to get out of it. You were never going to follow any of the advice given, so why did you ask?

Sorry to disturb you all... I'm wiling to stop to this marriage now also... But its not in my hand... Because if I say any with my dad, he will not accept that and will do the compulsion marriage, so... So oly I'm keeping silent, why want to create problem when marriage... My mom, sisters are happy of my marriage... Tats enough for me... I said with you all, to relax my mind and heart... And I want to share it with anyone...

So you only asked us to put your mind at ease about this marriage? I don't see how any of us can do that seeing as you don't want this marriage and you're only getting married to please everyone else.

So you only asked us to put your mind at ease about this marriage? I don't see how any of us can do that seeing as you don't want this marriage and you're only getting married to please everyone else.

I see years of unhappiness in her future...

I see years of unhappiness in her future......

Many many years, since she'll likely stay in the marriage for the same reason she got into it, to make everyone else happy.

It's much easier to break off an engagement and cancel a wedding, than it is to break up a marriage, especially once children enter the mix.

Tell your family that you have very bad feelings about this marriage and want to call it off, and then call your fiancé and tell him, "I am very sorry but I cannot marry you. I wish you well but we have not been getting along and it is clear to me we are not compatible. I also plan to continue in school and also to have a career. I know this is not what your family or you want in your wife, so I think it's best to just tell you, that's my plan."

Are you in the US? Europe? I know that women are considered their father's property in some parts of the world until they marry and become their spouse's property. Is that your situation? If you are in a Western country, you risk disapproval from your family but you will probably have to face that to have the life you want anyway - might as well face up to it now. When you succeed, your family will get over their disappointment in the marriage, and will be pleased when you find a good man on your own who supports your educational and career goals. And if you are in a Western country, you have every right to refuse to marry someone.

If you are somewhere that you do not have such rights, you need to convince your parents this is a bad marriage, and try to get out of your country and go where you will have more freedoms and opportunities such as Europe or the US.

Tell your family that you have very bad feelings about this marriage and want to call it off, and then call your fiance and tell him, "I am very sorry but I cannot marry you. I wish you well but we have not been getting along and it is clear to me we are not compatible. I also plan to continue in school and also to have a career. I know this is not what your family or you want in your wife, so I think it's best to just tell you, that's my plan."

Are you in the US? Europe? I know that women are considered their father's property in some parts of the world until they marry and become their spouse's property. Is that your situation? If you are in a Western country, you risk disapproval from your family but you will probably have to face that to have the life you want anyway - might as well face up to it now. When you succeed, your family will get over their disappointment in the marriage, and will be pleased when you find a good man on your own who supports your educational and career goals. And if you are in a Western country, you have every right to refuse to marry someone.

If you are somewhere that you do not have such rights, you need to convince your parents this is a bad marriage, and try to get out of your country and go where you will have more freedoms and opportunities such as Europe or the US.


ThanQ for giving me such a wonderful idea...

If it were me, I will stop the wedding. 16 days before I was to get married, I stepped away and frankly I could careless about all involved, this was my life. I had a nagging knot in my stomach for over one year that I could no longer ignore, and yes I walked away. When I gave back my rings it was the best decision I ever made. My former fiancé and I still talk but I am so relieved. When in doubt, do without. Do not get married!

ThanX for ur suggestion... Ur idea is gud to me... But tat oly my problem... I'm afraid to tell... If i 'll tell to anyone they will tell tat u would say before engagement why u telling now? More problems will be created bcos of my society... So i'm going to sacrifice.... ThanQ all for giving me some ideas....

Where are you? Perhaps you could go to a Western Embassy and ask for asylum. Tell them you are being forced into an unwanted marriage and ask if they will send you to their country for protection.

Where are you? perhaps you could go to a Western Embassy and ask for asylum. Tell them you are being forced into an unwanted marriage and ask if they will send you to their country for protection.

I doubt they would care as she isn't truly being forced. If you read it, she says her family is wanting her to do it... she can back out of it, she is just afraid to do so.

Maybe if you explained what you mean by 'compulsion marriage' and where you live, it would help us give you advice you can use.

You should confirm about your studies and job before engagement; if he again start talking with you nicely and takes care of you then proceed with him as his parents are good.