All right I have been seeing a girl for 6 months and I really want it to develop into us dating. I saw her today and she wouldn't kiss me and we talked about things and she says she feels empty inside and doesn't think she can see us together. She wish she could suddenly switch on what we used to have but she doesn't know if she can.

There was great chemistry in the beginning. But sexually we have slowly been drifting apart lately. With most girls I have been with sexually, I haven't cared for them a great deal, so I acted how I wanted around them without fear of losing anything, and the sexual chemistry was great. However with the current girl, when we first got in bed together she told me she wanted to take it slow, and I respected her so much that I've never ever wanted to push any boundaries.

So for the next 5 months I said to myself that I wouldn't progress any further sexually with her unless she made the first move towards it. And in the end it has backfired on me completely because she saw it as me not being able to take control and not being a man, but this whole time I've been holding back because I was scared if I pushed it faster then any pace she wanted to go, she wouldn't like it, and would screw things up.

2 months ago we has sex in my car and it was extremely romantic and great, lets just say it was some of the best sex I've ever had. But then a week after that when I tried making moves on her she didn't want to , and me seeing her as the girl I can't push boundaries with, otherwise it will up, naturally I accepted that she didn't want to and didn't do anything about it.

She then spoke to me a couple days later saying that because she did it with someone she wasn't dating (she only has sex with people she's dating), she felt really yucky. She didn't regret the sex at all, it was just that she did it with someone while she was single and it made her feel really bad about herself.

So with that in mind I said that it was okay and we will wait until we are dating if she needs to (for we talk as if we are going to date, rather if we date). However a week later at a party she said to me that she regretted saying that she wanted to wait, because she really wanted to make love to me, and I said its okay, if it happens it happens.

2 weeks later she called me up telling me her parents weren't home, and I should come over, so I did and we had sex again, it was good, not as good as last time though because I felt like I wasn't taking charge in the fact that she booty called me.

In the end we have been having sex and I STILL have this overhead telling me you can't push it or it will up, because now she thinks its just the way we are together, and our chemistry isn't here.

So last week we spoke about it, talking about how our sexual chemistry isn't here any more, and she doesn't have the desire to me like she used to. Because she says that usually when she has sex with her boyfriend, they are having sex 50 times a day after that (not literally). But I feel that I have turned over a new leaf and am completely reading to take control and show her who's boss, get this spark happening again.

I know I have to take control in bed, and that's easy for me to do, if shell give it a chance

So the Question is:
How do I get this spark happening again?

It's really really important to me. Because I see her as the girl I would not break up with, and would love to spend the rest of my life with.

we has sex in my car and it was extremely romantic and great
Any guy who thinks sex in his car is great and romantic has totally turned me off. Maybe that's what happened to her too.

Any guy who thinks sex in his car is great and romantic has totally turned me off. Maybe that's what happened to her too.

Well if you ever get turned off, how do you ever get turned on again? If you do that is :S

Well if you ever get turned off, how do you ever get turned on again? if you do that is :S
Women get turned on when guys think about what we want more than what they want.

Women get turned on when guys think about what we want more than what they want.

Do you have any advice to give specific for my situation?

Advice -- forget this girl and start putting yourself inside other people's skin to feel what they feel.

How old are you?

Advice -- forget this girl and start putting yourself inside other people's skin to feel what they feel.

How old are you?

I am 20... and yes, this is a forum after all. It's where people come to for advice, and to give advice/discuss things.

And I agree the smart thing to do in the long run is to move on. But I still want to see where I can take this, and how far I can take this. So I am here to see what insight people can give.

it made her feel really bad about herself.
If sex with you makes her feel bad -- and now you have a history of making her feel bad -- there is only one thing for you to do.

If sex with you makes her feel bad -- and now you have a history of making her feel bad -- there is only one thing for you to do.

I never said the sex was bad, I said our sexual chemistry has faded. In fact she tells me that when we actually have sex its really good, but in general how we are in bed is what she's uncomfortable with because she feels I don't take control in bed leading up to anything that could be sex. I've explained all of this in the post ^ :S

She then spoke to me a couple days later saying that because she did it with someone she wasn't dating (she only has sex with people she's dating), she felt really yucky. She didn't regret the sex at all, it was just that she did it with someone while she was single and it made her feel really bad about herself.
Leave her alone.