My ex and I have been broken up for a month and half now. We had been together for 4 1/2 years and lived together. He throughout the relationship on & off suffered from depression. So when he had been depressed for the last several months do to selling family business/not knowing how to cope with life then I didn't doubt that it really was him depressed again. Well he started with drawing about several months ago & going out a lot & drinking to cope with all this/escape reality. On a few occasions I asked him about us/his feelings and other girls. He always said it was not us/me/feelings hadn't changed and there was no one else. He said he was so depressed about life & didn't have time to think about girls/having sex etc (which we hand;t in long time). Well, I tried to be supportive since I knew those were side effects of depression. Because of all this we were having fights. Then right after New Years this year he had big problem at work (his new business & they aren't doing well). He was stressed about it & one night came home & said he need a break that the passion was gone &it wasn't;t me & that sometimes he still feels like he wasn't wants to get married. We had 2 week break. He then said he were better as friends. I then ask him about a girl he denies exists. I call her & she says they are just friends & knows all about me. Well, many tell me now they are more than that/sleeping together. When I went go move my stuff out I found stuff that shows he was using some substances. I confronted him because me & his family are worried about him & his behavior lately. He apologized said he was sorry & is going for counseling, but still denied her to me. Well tonight when I called him... she answered the phone. She is 21 and he is 36. I'm 29. I'm so hurt because I even said at to him the other it is fine if you are dating we are broken up. He still denied it giving me hope that maybe it was just things he was going through &the rumors are not true. She has texted me several times in the past & said they are just friends however tonight when she answered his phone she seemed annoyed he denies being with her. I'm so hurt & I want to hate. I don't get any of this. It is all so messed up. WHy does he still deny & why did they both lie about it & she call me about of the blue to say they are just friends. I feel betrayed because who knows how long he cheated & with how many & because I wa there supporting him along thinking it was his depression. He previous to the two weeks was calling me his future wife. I don't thin I can ever trust anyone again & want him to be sorry & don't know if I should tell his parents about the drug thing. I'm so upset & hurt. PLease give me some advice. I am questioning everything now.. I thought we had a stronger relationship. I don't get why he'd say that about depression. It makes me sick that she is staying at the house & did while all my stuff was there. She told me about other girls too that she knew about that he hung out with.. so what kind of girl is she. She must be after his money since he has a lot. I'm so upset & feel like such a sucker & so stupid

Hey sorry for all of the crap you are going through. She might be his little drug buddy. Honestly a lot of people who are into drugs find temporary superficial connections with other druggies. That could be why he is spending so much time with her. If you two are not together anymore then remove all of your stuff and distance yourself. It doesn't make you feel good to know he is hanging out with other girls then don't stick around to hear about. She is probably telling you about others girls to piss you off so that you will not want to be around him anymore. If you truly love him then yes you can mention something to his parents. You don't have to say anything specific about drugs but just let them know that you guys are not together and that you have some concerns about his behavior and that you suggest they look in to it. Good luck!

It's over. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're better off without him. He's immature and unstable--understandable at 19 maybe, but not at 36. He's old enough to know better. Take it as a lesson and move on.

You are not stupid.

I hear someone learning the lesson, learning to see things as they really are and find her way through someone else's madness.
That... is never an easy task.

Remind yourself of who you are periodically and don't look back too much.

Tell this guy to seek help immediately.

This is easy - MOVE ON.

Find a healthy person to be with. It seem thi gu ywill always bring you down.

Feeling aside, accept he is out of your life, and rejoice in the freedom you know have to pursue a healthy life.