I divorced 4 yrs. Ago due to spouse's drug problems. He was awarded visitations with our son to be at his parents' home every other weekend, he was suppose to pay child support, and to furnish medical insurance. He never paid child support or did he ever furnish the medical insurance. His drug addiction spiraled out of control, therefore, I took him back to court to have his visitations held at his parents' home revoked and to gain full custody rights. He did not show up for court and I was awarded full custody. He is a convicted felon for possession of cocaine and he was arrested for DUI. He was awarded the right to see our child only through the court at a court designated location with a court appointed person there for only 1 hr./week (value visits), which he never did. He was MIA for approx. a yr. He entered a rehab facility and was gone for a year longer. No contact with his son for 2 yrs. After he left rehab, I allowed him to come to our home to visit our son rather than the value visits. I told him that he could call our son as much as he wanted to and could come to his sports games and practices. I even told him that he could come to my home to spend longer than an hour with our son as I thought it was best for our son that he should know his father. His father never calls and checks on him to see how he's doing in school, never calls when he is sick, never calls and tells him goodnight. He comes to my house once a week and spends a couple of hours during which time he makes a mess while playing with our son and doesn't clean up. He started to pay me $50 each week in cash when he would come to our home to visit but if he doesn't come, he doesn't pay. He has decided that since he has been clean for two years, he wants to have our son come to his house that he just recently rented with his fiance' and her son every other weekend and that he plans to take me back to court. He works at a kava bar every night but Wednesday's from 4 p.m. to for a.m. in a downtown location, which is close to all of the bad elements that he was around when he was addicted. He won't give me his address, I've never met his fiancé. He told me that he has been advised to begin the value visits through the court. He has stopped paying me the $50/week. His dad neglected him on several occasions, once when he was a baby I left our son with him so that his mother and I could run out to the store. When we returned, he had taken our infant son with him to a house in his parents' neighborhood, purchased marijuana and was stoned. Once when our son was a toddler, his mother and I went to the store leaving him to watch him, and when we returned, he was passed out on the couch and our son was wondering around the house with a door left opened that led our to his parents' pool with no child safety fence around it. He sold my laptop computer that hads all of our son's baby pics on it so that he could buy drugs. He claimed our son on his tax return when he had no legal right to do so, so that he could get a refund and used the money to buy drugs. All the while never paying child support or furnishing medical insurance. Our son is 8 yrs. Old now and has a full and happy life with me and my parents. He does very well in school. I have always put what is best for him first and foremost. I just feel that I have proven to be the responsible parent, and feel that I should be able to decide when, if ever, his dad can be trusted with him. I have shown that it has not ever been my intent to keep our son from knowing him. What are his chances of getting our son every other weekend?

Very slim. First he has to show the responsibility to adhere to the court ordered visitation. Until he does that, I doubt if the court will award anything more.

Very slim. First he has to show the responsibility to adhere to the court ordered visitation. Until he does that, I doubt if the court will award anything more.

He advised me that he is going to begin the value visits through the court now so you are saying that if he does, that no matter if he failed to do it up until now, he has a shot at getting visitation rights and that all of his past neglect and lack of child support doesn't count, he just has to say he wants to be a father now.

He advised me that he is going to begin the value visits through the court now so you are saying that if he does, that no matter if he failed to do it up until now, he has a shot at getting visitation rights and that all of his past neglect and lack of child support doesn't count, he just has to say he wants to be a father now.

In a word. Yes !

Yes, Family Courts strongly believe in rehabilitation and changes of heart. But they have to be proven. Its not going take a short time. I would guess that he will have to religiously adhere to the visit schedule for at least 6 months, maybe more before a court will even consider a change.

Also, even though support and visitation are usually treated separately, in a situation like this, I would suspect the court would want to see a complete adherence to his obligations.