Maybe someone who has had experience with this can give me some advice. I live in a different state than my son's father. I am remarried with another child. When we moved almost three years ago, I agreed to fly my son to him three times a year and have kept that up. We have a civil relationship. HOWEVER, his wife is horrible! She wrote me a letter just today attacking me for not sending school pictures and copies of his report cards. I quit doing this a year and half ago since I got no response whatsoever when I would send them. I found out that my ex is actually out of town so he probably doesn't even know about the letter. I am going to call him tomorrow. This is not the first time that I've gotten a snotty message or letter from her concerning MY son. I have addressed this with my son's father before and he always promises to "talk to her"... I don't think he does though because he doesn't want the argument. She feels that it is OK for her to make all the arrangements for my son and so on. I personally feel like I shouldn't have to deal with her at all. I should only have to deal with his father because he is not her child. My husband certainly never contacts them to discuss my son. Is there anything legally I can do about this? I don't understand why she feels so entitled to treat this like it's her son. Any advice??

Dear Stepmother/out of line,
First thing to do, take a deep breath! What I believe is at the root of this unacceptable behavior is a threat to the new wife's security. Not sending photo's or report cards is nothing to go off half-cocked about, so it has to be something deeper. You referred to your boy as "MY son". Correct, however, he is the son of the man she married, therefore he is implicated in her life, like it or not. Just remember she's stuck with you, too, until this boy grows up, and probably isn't too excited about it, either. Your ex-husband will have to deal with her. Yes, your son is an important part of his life, and your sending photo's, etc, should have been acknowledged. His wife is an important part of his life, too, and she may be feeling threatened. Do they have any children of their own? If not, perhaps she sees a bond with you that she doesn't have. If so, maybe she sees money going out for support that threatens her security and that of her children to a cause that she had no part in. I believe this can be resolved if you can remain calm and take the high road. There's more to this that meets the eye.

Short and sweet.



The only person you have to deal with is the father of your son; his new wife is irrelevant to you. If she brings up something, question him. i.e. Report card, pictures doctors etc. Do not let something so insignificant get to you.

I agree.

Next time she writes a letter, don't let it bother you. If she tries to communicate with you, ignore her. Only go through your ex husband. And tell him until you get an apology you will not communicate with his current wife.