Maggie3377
Oct 30, 2012, 09:42 PM
Ok so this year the guy I liked was in my class so of course I was super excited. And after a while we became friends and talked every day and he really made it seem like he liked me. And then on the last day of school be for we had a 2 week break I was going to ask him out and my friend which is also his friend said he was going to ask me out too. But then he didn't want to because we wouldn't get to spend any time together over the break. So I agreed and he asked for my phone #. But then he texted me and then all of a sudden stopped responding and I texted him the next day and a few days latter but he didn't answer. Then when we came back I was going to ask him out but then my friend asked him in one of the classes we have together who he was taking to home coming and he said a junior. After that I didn't really care but then he got mad at my friend for asking him. Then a few days latter he was all dressed up and my friend asked him privately why he was dressed like that and he said he was going to ask a girl out but it wasn't me. ( I'm assuming it was the same girl he was going to ask to homecoming but its possible it could be someone else) then he said well what if I ask her out if the other girl says no so I'm basically his second choice. So after that he didn't know that I knew and I stopped talking to him for a while and he kept on bothering my friend asking if I was mad at him and if my friend told me something and if I still talked about him and he was complaining that I didn't even look at him. Then I finally gave in and started talking to him again and now he's acting like nothing ever happened.
wallabee4
Oct 31, 2012, 10:19 AM
A. If he is your friend, don't stop talking to him because you are having your own personal hissy fit. Pretty much, that is the difference between guys and girls. I am a girl, but most all my friend are guys because I can't stand how women do this sort of thing. He is talking to you again like normal because to him--a guy--it always was normal and you were the one who stopped talking and he figures it's all now past. Most guys don't discuss deep feelings/overanalyze stuff like girls do, unless they are in a long-term committed relationship and even then they are only forced to do so by the woman
B. Stop talking to your other friend about him or using her as a go-between--it's simply not nice to talk about a friend behind his/her back anyway. If you can't say it to him or ask him, then get the guts to do so rather than use her. And please don't chat/post to social media, etc. your gripes/fears...
C. Don't assume. It makes an 'you know what' out of 'u' and 'me' You have no idea what was going on with him during your unanswered texts, but your imagination went wild. Here's a wild idea: Tell him how you feel and ask him what happened.
D. He is entitled to go out with whomever he chooses. As are you. But don't do it to manipulate him or anybody else.
E. if you maintain a genuine friendship with him, he may talk to you about what's going on and you won't feel like mixed signals anymore. Just be genuine and get genuine back. And if you don't want to be his second choice, tell him that directly. He may have underestimated your feelings for him. It may also be that if, as you describe, you couldn't' get together over break--are your physically distant?--he's opting to go after girls who are more accessible to him--physically closer. Long distance relationships are a chore most guys won't work on. But again... you won't know these answers unless you ask him in a genuine conversation. Good luck. Be brave. Take care of yourself.
Oliver2011
Oct 31, 2012, 01:12 PM
What to do when a guy is giving you mixed signals?
You should probably get used to it because that will happen all the time while in or out of a relationship.