houston747
Oct 27, 2012, 06:41 AM
I have been dating a guy who is 32 years old for 2 years. We have lived together for 1 year. Since moving in together he has become distant, unloving, un appreciative etc.
History. He was married to a woman for 16 years. They are of course separated now but still not divorced. She calls him almost every day or send texts... most of which are at a time we are in bed. She always has some sort of issues that she wants my partner to sort out. Every day is the same. He left her 4 years ago due to coming out as being gay. He drinks heavily and has cried many times at what he has done to his wife.
When we got together he did say that he wanted me to meet his wife which I did. I found the situation a little strange but went along with it. Just after meeting her I expressed my thoughts to my partner and that I felt uncomfortable etc. My partner replied and said that his wife will always be part of his life and if I could not get on with her then we would not be together. This put lots of pressure on me to be honest as I did not even like her. Since that time I have tried to help her on a few of her many phone calls with advice etc which she has never said thank you for. I even got my partner in a taxi on new years eve to see her as she was upset that he was not around. The result of that night was I came home alone as they both got very drunk. My boyfriend did not want to come back home with me and chose to stay at her house. So all in all when I thought I was doing good and helping, it actually did the opposite and I spend the latter hours of new years on my own at home. My partner came back the following day with no excuse.
Since then his wife has caused a few problems with us as a couple, which I get the blame for. Again he constantly reminds me that she will always be part of his life. She has a boyfriend who is only 22 years old ( She is 32 ) but does not seem to take notice that all I want is to be left alone to have a relationship without her on going problems. All we do is argue about her. The time she calls, her issues and to be quite honest I have had enough of even her name.
While all of this is going on by partner is drinking lots, runs away when I need to talk to him about us etc... he will not let me talk about our issues but is more that happy to keep listening to his wife's.
Our sex life is becoming more miss that hit. Takes me for complete granted but says that he loves me. Now I am not desperate but I can't figure out if the problem lies with me or him. He says its me so more than often I think I am going mad and need some sort of medical help.
Can anyone advise me? I know its all a little jumbled up but this is how my mind is right now...
History. He was married to a woman for 16 years. They are of course separated now but still not divorced. She calls him almost every day or send texts... most of which are at a time we are in bed. She always has some sort of issues that she wants my partner to sort out. Every day is the same. He left her 4 years ago due to coming out as being gay. He drinks heavily and has cried many times at what he has done to his wife.
When we got together he did say that he wanted me to meet his wife which I did. I found the situation a little strange but went along with it. Just after meeting her I expressed my thoughts to my partner and that I felt uncomfortable etc. My partner replied and said that his wife will always be part of his life and if I could not get on with her then we would not be together. This put lots of pressure on me to be honest as I did not even like her. Since that time I have tried to help her on a few of her many phone calls with advice etc which she has never said thank you for. I even got my partner in a taxi on new years eve to see her as she was upset that he was not around. The result of that night was I came home alone as they both got very drunk. My boyfriend did not want to come back home with me and chose to stay at her house. So all in all when I thought I was doing good and helping, it actually did the opposite and I spend the latter hours of new years on my own at home. My partner came back the following day with no excuse.
Since then his wife has caused a few problems with us as a couple, which I get the blame for. Again he constantly reminds me that she will always be part of his life. She has a boyfriend who is only 22 years old ( She is 32 ) but does not seem to take notice that all I want is to be left alone to have a relationship without her on going problems. All we do is argue about her. The time she calls, her issues and to be quite honest I have had enough of even her name.
While all of this is going on by partner is drinking lots, runs away when I need to talk to him about us etc... he will not let me talk about our issues but is more that happy to keep listening to his wife's.
Our sex life is becoming more miss that hit. Takes me for complete granted but says that he loves me. Now I am not desperate but I can't figure out if the problem lies with me or him. He says its me so more than often I think I am going mad and need some sort of medical help.
Can anyone advise me? I know its all a little jumbled up but this is how my mind is right now...