chefjesse
Oct 25, 2012, 12:41 PM
Background: I am a 43 year old man in the midst of a divorce which will be wrapped up in the next month. I and a 32 year old woman I work with have been flirting and went out once or twice before she let me know that she liked me a lot and did want us to date but not until the divorce was final. I completely respect that and told her so. She said she still was OK with getting together for a beer here and there and we text a lot and she didn't want that to stop.
A week after that one evening she was feeling needy and came over and spent the night. Nothing sexual and really not any kissing. Just holding and talking. After that she freaked out a bit and said we can't do that again which I understand. She has pulled back some since then but insists she still wants us to talk and text etc. We haven't got together for drinks since then which doesn't surprise me because I think she is scared and I don't blame her I am too.
In the past we have texted a lot and talk when we can at work. We still text and talk at work but its not the same. I usually text her good morning each day, and she would respond most of the time, nothing big just a one line thing. Now she never responds at all. In the middle of the day before she gets to work we would usually text a little bit say how the day is etc. Now almost never. Before we would text every night for a few hours now every other day or third day and not for long. As well I feel our connection slipping.
How do I keep her interested and maintain our connection for a month without it all falling apart? So far I have continued what I did before but it feels hollow because I don't get the responses I got before. I don't want to come across as needy but I do believe that if she wants me to hang out for a month she needs to give a least a little bit of encouragement. And don't misunderstand she has not said anything or acted in any way other than what I described above. She is a bit abrupt with texts, but she say she hates texting except with me. (Sometimes she will just stop a conversation in the middle and never respond back to it.)
What should I do? I have considered stopping some of the texting but don't want her to think I have lost interest.
A week after that one evening she was feeling needy and came over and spent the night. Nothing sexual and really not any kissing. Just holding and talking. After that she freaked out a bit and said we can't do that again which I understand. She has pulled back some since then but insists she still wants us to talk and text etc. We haven't got together for drinks since then which doesn't surprise me because I think she is scared and I don't blame her I am too.
In the past we have texted a lot and talk when we can at work. We still text and talk at work but its not the same. I usually text her good morning each day, and she would respond most of the time, nothing big just a one line thing. Now she never responds at all. In the middle of the day before she gets to work we would usually text a little bit say how the day is etc. Now almost never. Before we would text every night for a few hours now every other day or third day and not for long. As well I feel our connection slipping.
How do I keep her interested and maintain our connection for a month without it all falling apart? So far I have continued what I did before but it feels hollow because I don't get the responses I got before. I don't want to come across as needy but I do believe that if she wants me to hang out for a month she needs to give a least a little bit of encouragement. And don't misunderstand she has not said anything or acted in any way other than what I described above. She is a bit abrupt with texts, but she say she hates texting except with me. (Sometimes she will just stop a conversation in the middle and never respond back to it.)
What should I do? I have considered stopping some of the texting but don't want her to think I have lost interest.