We had three children, one that was very goal oriented, very driven (almost to a fault) and has been very successful; another one also driven, somewhat goal oriented and very successful as well. Our youngest has never shown indication of being very driven or goal oriented... he tried college (while living at home) a year after high school graduation... flunked out... didn't find out for a semester that he had left college. Shortly after that he came to us stating he had a chromosome abnormality. He came to this conclusion on his own with some online research... we supported him and after some coaxing to get him to agree, made him an appointment with a well-known specialist. I did not think he had this condition since my ob doctor recommended a chromosome test be done with my age with the last pregnancy. Everything was fine. The specialist also did a Karyotype test and it stated his chromosomes were fine, which left the doctor scratching his head a little... he really thought our son's self-diagnosis was correct. After the initial visit, he set our son up with Testosterone shots and encouraged us to also have him see an endocrinologist for additional testing. The doctor stated we would see a marked improvement with our son's energy level and attitude after 90 days of being on the injections. It is now 120 days and we have seen some improvement but he still will not set himself up an appointment with the endocrinologist nor allow us to. How can we encourage him to get more testing done? I still feel that we are missing something in this equation. Has anyone else had to deal with something similar? He is currently living at home, not attending college, nor working outside the home. We are fearful he has settled into this routine as a permanent solution.
We want to encourage him to help himself... currently he still falls under our insurance but will not for long.

He is obviously bright enough to figure out this diagnosis, and I suppose he could easily be somewhat depressed about not only the tendency to some female traits and small testes, etc, but also I just read that there is a lower life expectancy. I think I would try a very difficult combination of reality (insurance will run out) and tender compassion, feeling him out for his thoughts on life and what this all means to him. Ask him how he feels about his future and just listen without saying anything at all. Give him a hug and say you want to understand, that you don't think he has to be like his older siblings for you to love him equally, and wait. Hopefully he will change his mind about the further testing, but he's an adult, and has to work this out on his own.