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View Full Version : My boyfriend doesn't want sex as much as I do


vero42
Oct 25, 2012, 10:34 AM
Me and my boyfriend have sex about once a week and twice if I'm lucky. He has to get up for work at 5am in the weekdays, so I leave him alone and don't bother him in the weekdays. But if we do have a chance to have sex because, in essence we do (he doesn't have to be up so early, it's an earlier time of the day, it's the weekend, etc), most of the time I end up not getting what I want even when I make it so clear that I want to have sex. Which shows me that in fact I want it more than he does.

Other factors you might consider; I'm a great girlfriend, I cook almost everyday; great food, I do our laundry, I keep the house clean, I'm sexy, good looking and hot, I keep myself clean, I help him out when he needs help. Negative things that annoy him: I ask too many questions, apparently it's bad that I want to know what he's doing or where he's at or who he's with. (he feels it's because I think he's doing something wrong; it's really because I just have an interest in KNOWING, in general), another thing that annoys him is that I chose to get a cat without his consent and I'[m not going to get rid of it. Other than that, I'm for the most part a great girl.

So, a specific circumstance was yesterday night, it was still pretty early in the night where we could spare time for sex, and he didn't have to get up too early in the morning. It has been about a week since we've had sex. He was on his iPhone just checking on Facebook, and pictures of his car. I let it be for about half an hour just laying there with him, until I grew tired of waiting for him to initiate anything, so I tried to initiate. FAILED, he said he was just enjoying laying there cuddling with me. Soooo... really? Is that normal in a guy? I need to know because I'm up for cuddling any time, but a guy not interested in sex when it's been a week since?? I don't know

Cat1864
Oct 25, 2012, 11:15 AM
Yes, some men (probably more than admit it) like to cuddle and enjoy being with their partner without any expectations of anything else happening. Men are not computers programmed to think of sex all the time.

Just because he 'has time' doesn't mean he is in the mood or ready to have sex. It can be as simple as being distracted by work, friends, family or home. He could be tired and wanting to relax. He may want to spend time being with you when there isn't pressure to do anything else including have sex. He may see intimacy as more than fitting two bodies together.

I think you need to communicate more (including about asking 'too' many questions) and learn to compromise with each other. Discuss what each of you expect in the way of sex and intimacy. Be open with each other. Listen to his needs as you want him to listen to yours. Work together to find what works best for both of you.

Don't go into the discussion expecting to have it 'your way' and for him to do what you want (the cat seems to be an indication of you getting what you want instead of working with him.) A question you might want to think about is 'are you being controlling without meaning to?'

Also, you can be a great girlfriend and do a lot for him (which is doing a lot for yourself, too) but don't think of it as a job where you get paid in sex. Do things because they need to be done and/or you enjoy them. Share intimacy with him (sexual and non-sexual) because they enhance the relationship for both of you.

Aaronrector24
Oct 25, 2012, 11:27 AM
Wow. Is he part women! O and u must b me,but as a women. My women is the same as your man!!
It's like hell to get her to have sex. But 7 out of 10 times I get her off first. Because once I get off its over.
And this oct,I let her Quit her job to stay home and do what u do. Now as a guy that has a young wife. She's 10 years younger than I am,she's 24. And I work n the oilfields n bakersfield. 60 to 80 hrs a week. When I'm home there is not a day that go's by that I'm not touching her or Brest. And coming home sitting by her. I want sex every day. When we first met. She was OK and could keep up with me. But not anymore. It sucks
But really. No disrespect if your man is turning down in house!! And even if u suck n bed. It's when ever he wants it. And as a man, that's everyday. Once before work,once after work and at lease one more time before bed. Just to start over before work the next day.
There is another problem going on. That's all I have to say about that!!
Now don't forget. I am a MAN so I will tell u as a man see's it. I'm not saying he's cheating r anything like that. But there is a problem!!