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View Full Version : How I can deal with my boyfriends baby mother?


lisho1
Oct 25, 2012, 05:59 AM
I have been going out with my boyfriend for sometime and we are so happy together. But the problem is that the baby mama hasn't given him peace and she doesn't know about me. He told her they are done but she keeps calling him, threatening him, pressuring him.

I never say anything, nor complain, though its killing me inside. But he says he loves me and that he will sort her out. It hurts me but I love him soooo much.

What should I do?

AaRoN12421
Oct 25, 2012, 07:40 PM
Tell him to kind of man up a little... she's always going to be there bugging him. I mean if they have a kid, its never going to stop. You need to speak up to him about how you feel about her. She sounds crazy aha but eventually she will cool off and mature a little. This is all based on time, if he keeps doing what he's doing and lets her talk to him like that, this will end in a long time... u need to step up with him and hopefully make this pass threw faster... Good Luck :))

talaniman
Oct 25, 2012, 08:37 PM
This often is the case when partners have kids with exes. They are bonded and he has to find a good way to handle his business. How old are you, and how long have you been together?

Maybe the thing to do is let him handle his business, and find out why she doesn't know he is seeing some one. Its always a risk getting involved with people who have so much baggage they bring to a new relationship from a failed one.

lisho1
Oct 26, 2012, 11:13 AM
This often is the case when partners have kids with exes. They are bonded and he has to find a good way to handle his business. How old are you, and how long have you been together?

Maybe the thing to do is let him handle his business, and find out why she doesn't know he is seeing some one. Its always a risk getting involved with people who have so much baggage they bring to a new relationship from a failed one.
Am 22 and hz 24.we hv been going out for 2 months now but we have known each other for 5months before we started going out.he tells me its me he wants to be with.I long to ask him about
Why he isn't telling her about us but I don't want to make him feel like am being pushy.he says I shouldn't worry about anything because he will sort everything out.

lisho1
Oct 26, 2012, 11:18 AM
Tell him to kinda man up a little... she's always going to be there bugging him. I mean if they have a kid, its never going to stop. You need to speak up to him about how u feel about her. She sounds crazy aha but eventually she will cool off nd mature a little. This is all based on time, if he keeps doing what he's doing nd lets her talk to him like that, this will end in a long time... u need to step up with him nd hopefully make this pass threw faster... Good Luck :))

Thanks,but the thing is that I don't want him to feel am being pushy,I do long to ask him ask when all this is going to end.it hurts me because he hasn't told her anything about me.he says hez going to sort every out

talaniman
Oct 26, 2012, 11:41 AM
I think knowing some one for 3 months and only been dating for two months is way to soon to be in their business or telling them what they should do. It's a time to pay attention, enjoy the getting to know them, and being able to evaluate them and how they carry themselves.

I know how attractions can be in the beginning, but too much, too soon, crash and burn, and miss the red flags you need to pay attention too. At least give it 6 months of dating to judge more facts, and not just intense feelings.

How long have they been "done", as she may not be as done as he is, nor have they resolved the nature of this obvious long term parenting situation yet.

They seem to have a long way to go. Something to think about, and keep in mind.

lisho1
Oct 26, 2012, 12:30 PM
I think knowing some one for 3 months and only been dating for two months is way to soon to be in their business or telling them what they should do. Its a time to pay attention, enjoy the getting to know them, and being able to evaluate them and how they carry themselves.

I know how attractions can be in the beginning, but too much, too soon, crash and burn, and miss the red flags you need to pay attention too. At least give it 6 months of dating to judge more facts, and not just intense feelings.

How long have they been "done", as she may not be as done as he is, nor have they resolved the nature of this obvious long term parenting situation yet.

They seem to have a long way to go. Something to think about, and keep in mind.

That's true.I don't want to rush things with him too.though am not the most patient person alive when they argue over the bsbyz things I don't ask anything I just keep quiet and pretend I didn't hear anything,sometimes he would tell about there argument bt sometimes he doesn't.the baby is almost q year.this is killing me.must I give up

talaniman
Oct 26, 2012, 12:45 PM
Are you having fun dating him over all? If not, date someone that's more fun. I guess my point is don't give your heart to a "stranger" too soon. And never make HIS issues yours.

Talaniman Rule - Never give your heart to a stranger with an ex dominating their life.

More conflicts and frustrations than fun. May take quite sometime before he handles his business with the EX correctly.

lisho1
Oct 26, 2012, 10:04 PM
Are you having fun dating him over all? If not, date someone thats more fun. I guess my point is don't give your heart to a "stranger" too soon. And never make HIS issues yours.

Talaniman Rule - Never give your heart to a stranger with an ex dominating their life.

More conflicts and frustrations than fun. May take quite sometime before he handles his business with the EX correctly.

I am having fun yes,we do losts of things together and we have sonethings in Common.I get your point.only yesterday he called to say hez thankful that am being patient with him even when he has all issues and also that I understand him by not getting involved in them.

teacherjenn4
Oct 28, 2012, 03:07 PM
Your post is in text speak. This is against site rules. Fix it and then we can understand what you are trying to ask.

pepper81
Oct 29, 2012, 05:23 AM
Ask yourself why the baby mama don't know about you? Are they still involved? You don't need drama in your life so decide what you will put up with. If she is stuck on him she will try to cause you grief. Is he worth that to you?

lisho1
Oct 29, 2012, 10:49 AM
Ask yourself why the baby mama don't know about you? Are they still involved? You don't need drama in your life so decide what you will put up with. If she is stuck on him she will try to cause you grief. Is he worth that to you?

When I asked him why the baby mama doesn't know me,he told me he was protecting his child because if found out she would try to stop him from seeing his child because she still Loves and wants him

pepper81
Oct 29, 2012, 11:12 AM
When I asked him why the baby mama doesn't know me,he told me he was protecting his child because if found out she would try to stop him from seeing his child because she still Loves and wants him

I understand I hope it works out for you.