I'll start by saying that I'm homosexual, don't let that trip you up. I know it's a little long for a question, but I think most of it is relevant

I've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for almost three years. We were young and our relationship was only two months fresh when he moved in with my siblings, parents, and I. I had yet to even graduate high school when he moved in. When he moved in, he helped out me and my family a lot. I have a crippled mother and a father who was bouncing on and off between his alcoholism. My boyfriend was always good to me.

I never felt that adrenaline rush of love with him. I got over my butterflies with him quickly and was comfortable around him. To me, he was just another boyfriend that happened to move in with me. The plan for him was to get a place of his own after a few months... but he never did. My parents didn't really mind him staying longer either. He couldn't move back in with his parents, they were very clear of that and threatened to kick him out on the streets before he'd moved in with me.

I graduated high school, he and I moved out together and are about to finish our second, yearlong lease on our apartment.

A few weeks ago, my first boyfriend, the one I've never gotten over, contacted me. He and I have always had a strong bond, something that kept pulling us back together since the beginning of high school. But he lacked a backbone and let himself be manipulated by whomever he was around; friends, family, society. We lived in a very small town in the middle of nowhere, PDA and being comfortable with who we were was not an option at any time, we were forced to hide everything about ourselves as teenagers. He and I kept our relationship hidden from our parents but our close friends knew well about it. Some of his friends would try to change him to be straight or come up with other horrible reasons to try keep us apart. He broke my heart a dozen times, it seemed like.

After I'd moved out of the town he lived in and I was done and broken with him, he was always on my mind. Through all of my relationships, troubles, and so forth, he was with me in my heart, a space I could never get filled. I even saw him once during our years apart and then was betrayed again. I haven't spoken to him since he contacted me earlier this month.

At times, I can't stand my current boyfriend. I mutter obscenities at him sometimes, sleep at the edge of the bed. We hardly kiss or are intimate. He's talented, wild, friendly, all characteristics I thought I liked. Now all I want to do is get away from him some days. There is plenty of good too, but it's all 50/50. I can't afford to move out and I don't have a lot of friends since I don't know many people around here. He and I have almost broken up a few times but never did, never once did I cry like I did with my ex.

I'm going to see my ex sometime in the near future to talk things out, without telling my boyfriend. If anything, to get some closure for myself, I don't plan on cheating on my current boyfriend.

I guess the real question is, should I try to get out of my current relationship? How should I go about it? I don't want to break his heart, but I'm scared it's too late. Please help.

This is a very difficult place. To be honest I've been through quite the same, its horriable! All I know is do what you think is best, not for other people but for you! That is the most important thing! I think you should open up with your boyfriend and tell him that you still have feelings for your first boyfriend and see what he says. There's nothing no one can do about your feelings for others I'm afarid! Its life. Or you could always tell your old boyfriend to back off and let you get on with your life, were you don't get hurt. I know this is hard to move on but at some point you've got to do it! Just think, what would you rather do? Have a nice relitionship with someone who actually cares and wouldn't hurt you? Or someone who's hurt you before and left you? Its up to you!