View Full Version : Boyfriend uninterested in me.
cindychick06
Oct 22, 2012, 09:01 PM
I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years. I love him very much and he is my world. Lately though he seems completely uninterested in me. We both have kids from previous relationships and he was with me the whole time I had my daughter. I gained a substantial amount of weight after I had my baby and I look disgusting to myself even so I know I'm not very attractive, I just wonder if he is attracted to me anymore, or if maybe he is cheating on me, or if he's just lost interest in me all together. I can count the number of times we've had sex on both hands since last Christmas. He always says he's too tired an sex takes too much energy. I'm only 24 and I like having sex it brings me closer to him, he's a little older at 32 and I don know I maybe he just doesn't have the sex drive anymore or if he's getting it somewhere else is why he never wants to have I with me! I've never had distrust for him he's always told me the truth and been someone I've never really had to worry about, but I'm worried about our relationship if we can't be more intimate then I just don't know what will come of the relationship because he just seems completely withdrawn from it.
ArmstrongMiller
Oct 22, 2012, 11:00 PM
It's a problem about CHEMISTRY.
sufmom
Oct 23, 2012, 02:47 PM
I don't think its about age difference. As I got married when I was 21 and my hubby was 29 at that time (it was an arrange marriage). My hubby was a virgin guy so he was interested in sex very much (however, some reason I wasn't) . For the first 2-3 months he wanted to have sex almost every night. Then I got pregnant and had our first baby. After that the need for sex ended from both sides and came to once a week. Now I am 43 and widow. Still I have had different bfs at different times. Age varied between about 15 years older than me to 8 years junior than me.
So age is not important. Also you don't have to be sexy and beautiful to have sex.
Therefore I think you should continue your life with your hubby by accepting the truth that sex drive decreases with time.
talaniman
Oct 23, 2012, 03:11 PM
Maybe its not just about sex, but other areas of the relationship that need working on. What's going on with that? Money problems? Work problems? Family problems?
cindychick06
Jan 13, 2013, 02:16 AM
So I've asked a similar question before but I'm just lost of what to do. My boyfriend and I have a pretty good relationship I trust him and love him a lot, but our sex life is literally no existent. We have sex like once ever 3 months. I'm a very intimate person, I need to feel close to someone to know the relationship is safe and lately I have just felt like he's not interested in sex therefore he's not interested in me.
He's not said anything about being unhappy but I feel lately he's just no longer attracted to me. He makes comments about my weight and just says little things here and there that makes me feel like he's no longer attracted to me. He NEVER initiates sex ever, I always have to be the one that starts things and he continually asks for oral sex which is making me feel like he's not interested in having sex with me.
I love my boyfriend very much but lately I feel like our relationship is drifting and like I said I need that physical attention to know its still OK and I've not been getting that reassurance lately. I'm trying to talk to him but its hard and he always just says he's tired and we don't have time for sex which bothers me even more e cause I feel time should always be made to be intimate and show affection or each other. I'm just hurt and feeling self conscious I guess but I'm not getting reassurance from him unfortunately
joypulv
Jan 13, 2013, 03:50 AM
It's never easy when a relationship reaches the stage where something major is wrong but you still love the person. Have you tried talking about it when you aren't in bed, some time such as on the couch watching TV, with no attempt to be intimate at that moment? Ask him if there is anything going on in his life that you don't know about, like depression or no sex drive (low testosterone) or he would rather watch porn on his computer, or he's attracted to someone else, or he just thinks you are unattractive? If it's the last one, you really need to ask yourself if it's time to move on. And I would tell him so. Then you find out from his reaction just how much he cares enough to work out a compromise of affection, touching, intimacy, all the things that go with a couple's relationship.