Here's my situation: I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. Everything is going more than great. He would tell me how crazy he is about me and how happy I make him. We would hang out all the time and there were no intimacy issues. A few weeks ago, I noticed that he was sort of taking a step back. He wouldn't text me as much and it was mostly a "Hi how are you?" type message. He hasn't been as touchy-feely as he was. When we hung out, it was like something was there but he would do anything. Finally the other day, we were hanging out and he started talking about what was bothering him. He is going through some family issues which is weighing on him. He was also concerned about finding a job. He applied to jobs in other states (before we met) and he said he wasn't into the whole long distance relationship thing. He said the reason he had taken a step back was because he didn't want to get too close and have feelings hurt when he breaks it off if he found a job in another state. He said that it would be easy for him to break things off now but he doesn't see a flaw in me. If he gets this one job, he would be required to leave sometime in December. He said he wants to stay together and doesn't want to break up anytime soon; just see where things go. This sort of caught me off guard at the time and now that I've had some time to think about it, I feel as though he's going to, for lack of a better term, "half " it until December. He also said that one of his big fears is that someone out there knows his vulnerabilities. He doesn't want to get too close for fear that if things go south that I will know about his vulnerabilities. I understand that he is afraid to express his feelings now (like most guys he won't admit it) but what is it going to be like in December if he doesn't get the job? Is he going to go back to his old ways or continue to be distant? I feel like it is a bit unfair to me when I'm putting everything into this relationship. I also applied to a job (prior to meeting him) where I could be relocated. I told him that, if we are still together by the time I hear back from the job, which could be a year, that I would put in for a posting in the state he is in. He said he didn't want me to do that because if we do break up I would be stuck there with no ties. I really like him and am developing strong feelings for him. He has said in the past that he has strong feelings for me too and that we have a strong connection but hasn't expressed how he feels recently. What I found really weird was that after talking, he seemed more relaxed and more like his old self (but not quite) and gave me a big long hug. However, since talking, he is still being distant. Am I being unfair? How should I approach him to talk about it without adding any extra stress on him?

As a guy, I hope I can offer some insight. It may well be that he's trying to put distance between you both in case it ends up as a long distance relationship; however the fact that you offered to relocate to whatever state he finds himself in and he said no, makes me feel like he's trying to end it and not being completely honest with you about his reasons, maybe he doesn't want to hurt you and is using external reasons as his justification. In my experience, I no longer tolerate people who play with my feelings (he may not realise he's doing this, but clearly you feel strongly about it) and I cut my losses. Trust me, you will find someone who will hold your feelings in the highest regard. I've had job and family issues over the past year, pretty severe ones and my girlfriend (of five months) has been a rock for me. Hope this helps