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RA13
Oct 18, 2012, 05:56 AM
I was asked by my colleague to give my ideas about his essay and style for but I don't have much knowledge about editing so I would like to seek your help about your ideas about his writing. Thank you very much!


A short part of his essay:

Of those who held political hierarchy; of those established to intimidate for obedience, are those with intent none but earthly power. Religion is a way of living than a field asserting metaphysical truth. One for instance shan’t be, at all circumstances, a person with a democratic tenet because of the introduction of new democracy headed by George Washington nor he be of the shade of that belief because of the existence of George Washington, but because it has a rational effect, likewise should be of religion removing the view of putting much importance in the metaphysical context of the existence of central figure but so forgets that it is of less importance. It should be that the empathy be laid in the shoes of the divine sufferer, being of a religion is practicing the tenets of that faith that sought to point in maximizing goodness in all parts of morality from intent to its ends essential for his earthly endeavors. That in this approach there shan’t be any contesting faiths of who is correct but much better; what is the best in accordance with the use of his utmost rational capacity. Yes, religion is ethical than metaphysical.

joypulv
Oct 18, 2012, 06:16 AM
The writer might have some lofty thoughts, but every single sentence is poorly constructed. Is this a bright person for whom English is a second language? It actually looks like it was written in another language and plugged into an online translator.

Wondergirl
Oct 18, 2012, 08:26 AM
I'm with Joy. It doesn't make much sense, has a lot of grammatical and punctuation mistakes, and sounds like it was written by a non-native-English speaker and, like Joy said, run through an online translator. I'm not even sure, with my fantastic editing skills (:)), that I could fix it to make it make sense.

joypulv
Oct 18, 2012, 08:52 AM
And Wondergirl is a wonder!